Mass Effect, Banjo Kazooie, Beneath A Steel Sky & Heroes Of Might And Magic III

That's probably the nerdiest blog title I'll ever have. It was like a sliding scale really. Part of me was tempted to mention the football happenings of the last couple of nights but there's not an awful lot to say. Liverpool played terribly and so did Man United. Well, from what I saw of both anyway. I had them both on while I was playing the previously mentioned games. So, Mass Effect. That was a good game wasn't it? Yeah it was and still is. I decided to hop back in and whore a few achievements I'd missed. I know, its low isn't it. I feel dirty just thinking it. Knowing the shame I've committed. But hell, I got an easy 100G or so and remembered why I loved the game in the first place. For all its flaws, its a lot of fun. I'm now super-ready for number two. I'm not paraphrasing a constipated child there, merely trying to reveal my excitement. How many more games are going to creep on to that must buy list for next year?

I'm going to stay with a friend this weekend and I figured that if gaming happens then Fifa and Modern Warfare 2 are going to be on the cards. So I should play some stuff I won't play while I'm away. Phrasing it like that makes it sound like I have an addiction. I don't. I think. My 360 has been played every day for the last 5 days now though. Hmmm. Anyway, Banjo Kazooie is a fair bit of fun. Starting to get into making my own vehicles now. I'm still not very far though, got about 15 jiggies or so. It can be frustrating, destroying some balls attacking a crocodile's eyes was a real teeth clencher for me. Looking back on that sentence though, it sounds riveting doesn't it? Still, glad I picked this game up on the cheap. My new Swapgame will be here next week, so I can put it back on the chill pile till the next drought.

I also found out today that Beneath A Steel Sky was going for free on GOG.com. So me being the tight-fisted mofo I am, rushed there to pick it up. First thing that struck me is the interface on their website, its fantastic and you can download a game however many times you want. Awesome! The game itself is a point and click classic from before my time. I mean I was alive. But I was six when it was released. A game based around post apocalypse Australia was a little beyond my reach. First game I loved was The Lion King on the Mega Drive. Used to hate that level with the monkeys in the trees, was always shit at it. Oh, and the Mickey Mouse one too! The ghost level used to get me on that game. Anyway the game is a complete throwback, it feels dated in most ways. But it was free and came with a walkthrough so even if I don't play it, it at least deserves to be cheated through so I can see what I missed out on all those years ago. Which finally brings me to Heroes Of Might And Magic III! Which has just finished downloading! I'll be brief: I want a game to play on the train and I absolutely loved this when I was younger. Finally convinced myself its worth the $9.99 I paid for it and I'm going straight for "Vikings We Shall Come" (I think it was called). Its exciting fucking times.

Gaming Tuesday

Seems quite strange really that Modern Warfare 2 has been out for only a couple of weeks because its already slipped from my disc tray. I just haven't found the will to throw myself into the multiplayer yet. Instead I've thrown myself back into my Fifa 10 management career. This has probably happened after my inevitable downfall in the new Football Manager. But anyway, its been a successful return to the helm of St James Park. Just finished my second season third in the Premiership with both the FA Cup and the League Cup under my belt. Not bad considering I haven't bought any new players, only signed a few scouted ones. Just won the Charity Shield in my third season and about to kick it off proper, but I'm going to take it easy. Trying to make my "EA Game Face" for my Be A Pro player now. Hahaha. Oh dear me. Just finished it. Its terrifying. I look completely evil, even complete with the "Glitler" moustache from the photo I used. Knew I shouldn't have used that photo from Reading. Anyway, going to dive into it proper now. Lets hope its more fun than it was last season.

500 Days Of Summer

Reading back through some of my posts I realised that the majority of the updates of late seem to be around three in the morning. No wonder my sleeping pattern is so out of whack. I would have left this till tomorrow but its still very fresh in the mind. This is the last of my little romance binge and probably better for it. If I watch one more romantic film I think I may unwittingly swap genders. I'm pretty sure I'm generating a large quantity of oestrogen at the moment already. No wonder I can't grow a beard. Anyhow, the aforementioned film is something rather special in my eyes. Quirky, individual and very warm-hearted. I found it a genuinely touching movie with the two leads both absorbing you in from the off. It helps that Zooey Deschanel is beautiful. I mean stunning. But, restrained lust aside, its just the kind of romantic comedy you don't get enough of these days. There's a few staples of the genre in there, and it does stick to the blueprint in its own way but it really is just a lovely little film. Although, I think I might give it a little while before I watch it again. Overall I found it a fantastic little gem. I really can't stress that enough. Right, probably time I shot some civilians in the face on Modern Warfare 2. I can almost hear my sperm count dropping with every positive I lavish upon this film.

Adventureland

This may well be turning into an indie film binge at this rate. 500 Days Of Summer is lined up next as well, might try and save it though. Anyway, Adventureland is apparently "by the director of Superbad". Luckily this film only shares a few surface characteristics, this film is more a slow burner than an in your face laugh fest. Or however Superbad professes to be known. I must admit I was rather taken with the movie, this film is very charming. Although the film begins by putting our lead in a rather unlikely setting, it slowly distills him over the film showing him to be a much likable person. There's a pretty fantastic soundtrack throughout as well, but you expect nothing less in an indie flick these days right? It may not be radical in its formula but before you get to the somewhat predictable final third you're already too deep in to notice. I think I'll be making some amendments to my favourite films of the year. Its definitely the best romantic comedy I've seen since Juno. Which feels like a long, long time ago now.

Wristcutters: A Love Story & 1 vs 100

You can tell with a title like Wristcutters: A Love Story you're going to be in for some indie melodrama and the film, in many ways, lives up to these preconceptions. The plot is thus; boy goes through break up, kills himself, enters limbo, finds out ex is also there, road trip. In many ways the film is quite close to the narrative track you'd expect once you disregard the setting. In writing the film seems like an appealing prospect but watching it is a very different experience. In all honesty, its just quite boring. There's a few nice scenes and having Gogol Bordello and Tom Waits featured is always a winner. But there's not enough to make it stand out from the rest of the indie crowd. Its a 5/10 if I ever saw one. I will say this though; the ending is lovely.

Tonight (well yesterday I think) saw the triumphant return of 1 vs 100 to Xbox Live. I'm assuming you saw the ticker tape and news specials dedicated to its explosive appearance back in our lives? No? Neither did I really. Logged on today to get some Last FM fuelled Football Manager happening and noticed the little logo winking at me from the Spotlight section. I thought "Why the hell not?". Well I soon found out why not. Firstly I had to download the game. Which is fine. But it came in three sections. Why? Surely its just one game? But once that wait was over (I cooked some food while waiting, oh the joys of having an evening to yourself) I was finally chucked in to the middle of the prize game. I got 7 straight correct answers over two rounds, the questions seemed easier this time than season one. Then the game crashed. Oh. Cheers for that. So booted it back up again, got in and then bang another crash. Then got into extended play and a few questions in ANOTHER FUCKING CRASH. I thought we'd already had the beta for this? Are we in the gamma now? Come on Microsoft, just pull it and sort it. I'd rather that than maybe fluke my way into a prize winning position and then have you crash the game.

On a final note Football Manager has driven me mildly insane. Two 94th minute losses on the bounce to Preston and Swansea respectively. I almost ate my own face. Luckily Last FM has been streaming me the pleasing post-rock plumage of Sigur Ros radio. At least Microsoft included one good, working new feature recently.

Martyrs

I'm a pretty open minded person, I'll watch most things on TV really. You can't say you hate it if you haven't seen it. Of course you can say it constantly during and after but not before. I'm also a big advocate of foreign cinema, little bit of reading never hurt anyone. Unless its a blind guy reading braille on a touch sensitive bomb. But the chances of that happening are unlikely outside a new season of 24. All of these reasons is why I decided to watch Martyrs which is a French horror/mystery according to Wikipedia. Now firstly, most horrors are mystery films but don't claim to be. "Who's murdering", "Why are they murdering", "Was it with the crowbar in the kitchen?". All of these I would class as mysteries really. Of course it depends on the film but lets not get bogged down in the details. I'm not adverse to gore really, I found myself tittering my way through Saw VI. But this film was a bit too much. It was just foul, I felt like giving up defending any film with graphic content and just supporting anything that Chris Tookey at the Daily Mail reviews well. It was just plain horrible. But maybe the story would save it. Would it fuck. I won't spoil it for you, but the films spoils it itself. Just by it being plainly shit. It makes sense, but I just thought "Naaa". Overall, I feel a bit emptier inside and very let down.

To cheer me up though I slotted into episode two of Misfits the new superhero show on E4. Its pretty good still, the writing is actually quite witty. Its just the coiffured fool delivering the lines the irks me. I hope they go a bit Skins with it and focus on different characters every week though. Not sure I can take an entire series of his Irish "charm".

Gaming Tuesday (On Wednesday)

So its been out a week now, well for those who didn't get it delivered early and Modern Warfare 2 has has the majority share of my disc drive. I polished off the single player campaign on the day I got it, not a massive achievement as such as it was only on regular difficulty. I'll wait until next year to tackle Veteran mode I think, it worked with COD:4 anyway. Apart from that damn aeroplane level. Never even got close on that one. Brrrr. In the time since then I've dabbled both in Spec-Ops and online multiplayer, with mixed results. Spec-Ops is a pretty addictive little pack of bonus missions based around levels from both Modern Warfare games. They work much better when played with a buddy too, as me and mine found out when our desperate calls of "Juggernaut!!!" before our demise after 7 constant failures on "Snatch and Grab" grew too much. Online multiplayer is a different kettle of fish. I've always been a Halo man myself, been playing them covenant since I was yay high. Not that much shorter actually. I'm a little bit older than the Halo franchise. This is why I never really got in to Call Of Duty multiplayer. Its all stealth, one shot and skill. Where Halo is mainly madness, beat downs and sticky grenades. I played a few rounds but I grew frustrated quickly. Getting thrown in with people 40 levels higher than you is not fun for a start and then being killed by campers as well did not help. I did ok for a first timer, generally one or two places from the bottom. I'll need to give it a lot more time to get any good. Something I may or may not do depending on what Swapgame send me next (No time for Batman's challenges I'm afraid).

In between all the face shooting and airports I've managed to knock in a bit of virtual lego 'em up (kind of) Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. Its a sweet and fun little game basically. The humour isn't as sharp as good old Conker's Bad Fur Day but it brings a smile to your face. The difficulty isn't overly hard yet although I've only been messing about in the first two or three zones so far. My own problem is that I really cannot be bothered to try to build vehicles yet. I know this is essentially the whole game, but I'd rather just do the little challenges. My heart genuinely sinks when I realise its a "build it yourself challenge". Still, it was a cheap purchase off eBay so I'll keep it for the down time in between Swapgames I think.

Finally I come to temptation that's been knocking on the door. Part of me is referring to Left 4 Dead 2, which I'm going to forward to Santa I think. But no, its Football Manager 2010. It is the most addicting game of all time. I caved in and got the demo from Steam and I've already got to November. Its been one day. I have of course made a bit of a shit up already with my Newcastle team. We're only third. I've signed Danny Simpson, Jack Wilshire and Nathan Delfounso. Delfounso has played two games and been awful (good recommendation there coaches), Wilshire has been good though. Anyway, £29.99 off Steam. Its really tempting and considering my disc drive is buggered I can't shop around either. We'll see how long I can last. I give it one to two days.

The Mist & COD:MW2

So taking a break from my horrendous binge of Lost I watched The Mist. Continuing Frank Darabonts seemingly exclusive Stephen King bumming he again adapts another one. Something a bit different to The Green Mile and Shawshank though and refreshing for it. Think Lord Of The Flies meets The Fog meets Evolution. Its clever and entertaining, bringing you a few shocks and scares along the way. What must be said though is that the ending is horrible. Not in perhaps a predictable gross out horror way but more in a disturbingly empty way. It feels a little bit like when you watched Requiem For A Dream for the first time. Still, a decent watch and it feels nice not to be hearing the string stabs of the Lost soundtrack for a while.

I don't know why I've decided to do this to myself but I've taken it upon myself to investigate the hype around Modern Warfare 2. There's two sides to it really and I'm not sure which I dislike more. Firstly you had the "glitzy" premier of the game. I say glitzy, when they're limiting shots of fans lining the red carpet you have a fair idea what's actually happening. But in the defence of the people who went, the stars did show. Vernon Kay, Goldie and the array of ex-Eastenders actors who voice the game. I can see why the game got the attention it did. Its the biggest media launch in history after all. But it all just looked a bit shit didn't it? Pretend soldiers, posters for the game, hot girls dressed as soldiers. It was a very tacky way of doing it really. But I also don't like film premieres for the same reason, so I can't complain about that. The second side is "No Russian" and the ensuing debate. This is where it gets really frustrating. People are obviously calling for Infinity Ward to be shot and the game to be banned, this was inevitable. However, the defence is either "Its a game, I shot those civilians in the face and I'm fine!" or "Actually, that bit was kind of nasty, still the rest is a great game". It kind of begs the question, why is it in there anyway? For the story? I thought it was justified, that was until I played through the story. It ranks with Die Hard 4 for realism. Its essentially James Bond starring Jason Statham and directed by Micheal Bay. Its explosions, madness and shooting people in the face. Which is fine. But the airport scene adds a weight of depth that is never really accounted for. Which makes the game harder to defend when its standing up and practically provoking the other side. They may as well chucked in some paedophilia and the corpse of Princess Diana just to really rile up the tabloids. I love the game. I really do. But its given my past time a bad name it doesn't deserve. Although funnily enough everyone has stopped talking about the Wii and the inane parade of mindless tat that gets Grandma waggling her wrist like she's turning tricks in Soho. So silver linings and that.

Top 10 Worst Films, Albums & Games Super List

I've started scanning my memory for the things that have stood out for me in 2009 in preparation for some totally rad end of year lists. Yeah that's right, totally rad. I'll be hollering cowabunga as I write it. While researching my own memory (I'll be honest, the easiest kind of research) I realised that I'd not played/watched/heard that much stuff. You know, I'm clever. I only listen to something I think I have a chance of enjoying or that someone else thinks I have a chance of enjoying. I don't rush out for the new Take That album because I'd only end up creating a plot to destroy Mark Owen with a sharpened copy of his own CD. The freaky little cunt. So I ended up listing everything that I'd watched, played or heard this year. This lead to the creation of some "dishonourable" titles that were going to be in a kind of reverse flip to the "honourable mentions". But hey, I fancied writing some more and they somewhat conveniently added up to 10. So I'll start at the top of the bottom. Like you do.

10. Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions
This is probably an exception on the list. Its only here because it pains me. I was singing it mild praises a few days ago but after returning to Infinity Land I cannot afford it such dignity any longer. Sure That Golden Rule and Whorses are good. I would go as far as saying really good. Whorses has got some love on Last FM. But Biffy's slide in to poppy chorus' and now audibly terrible lyrics has lead me to question them. I know longer feel the urge to go their gigs knowing that its going to be 90% Puzzle/OR and 10% Blackened Sky with the odd Infinity Land and maybe even Vertigo Of Bliss tossed in. Their first 3 albums are pretty much stone cold classics. This is the first nail in their coffin.

9. Twin Atlantic - Vivarium
Its somewhat strange that my reasons for disliking this album are the same as Biffy's given that they're both Scottish and all. But this is their debut, which probably means the Clyros shouldn't worry. "Audience and Audio" was a great breakout single and gave really high hopes for this band. Its a shame the rest of this album is pretty much generic poppy punk stuff you can imagine tattood, skinny jeaned, straightened haired, American fuck-tards earning a cover of Kerrang! with. The plus side is that his voice is still fantastic, a real Scottish accent. As long as they keep that, they've still got a chance.

8. The Dodos - Time To Die
Pretty impressive that these guys have managed to get into both my top ten lists. Ok its not. But still, I had little else for an opening gambit. These guys have suffered a fate of internet hype worse than no other really. Of course its not entirely the internet's fault. The album is just boring really. The original was something different and exciting. This takes their music to amazingly predictable and uninteresting heights.

7. Editors - In This Light And On This Evening
I can tell you now I have a better filter for albums than films. I feel bad the company these records are going to be sharing further down the list. But regardless this album is not great. The gloom indie (Or gloomdie as no-one calls it) genre is almost booming. There's these lot, White Lies, Glasvegas. At least they're all dressed for any surprise funerals. Or just one balaclava away from a cheap ninja outfit. The lead single "Papillion" was gloomdie pop song of the year for me. Mainly because I've fallen behind popular music of late so I've no idea "what's rocking". The rest of the album was boring and meandering though. An average effort for what is quite a good band.

6. The Final Destination 3D
I quite enjoy the Final Destination franchise and that's a strong comment from me. Anything that even hints at the word franchise in movies usually makes me gag like an abused altar boy. But the Final Destination films have the whole ridiculous set up to the deaths. The slow five minute up of tension for a 3 second "Fucking brilliant that is" death. Certainly one to watch drunkenly with buddies. But lets be honest. Two was enough. Three maximum. This was not needed. The 3D is terrible as well. The overall highlight was my mate looking at his hand through his glasses afterwards to see it in 3D. The douche.

5. Lord Of The Rings: Conquest
This was in my top 10 games of the year purely because I have only played a satisfactory amount on 10 games this year. Worrying I know. It also means I've got to play a lot of another game before the end of the year. With my finances, this could be tough. Still a challenge is a challenge. Anyway, imagine Star Wars: Battlefront. Ok. Now imagine watching someone who has no idea what they're doing playing Star Wars: Battlefront. Its frustrating isn't it. This is what Conquest is like. Its not fun, its hammering buttons. Its not like Devil May Cry where its hammering buttons because I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing; its made like it. Somewhat of a laugh with a mate, but to be honest I played it with a friend and we just descended into Left 4 Dead soon after starting. So maybe not even that.

4. Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Clichés are a funny thing. Some are good to stick to really, like those in games. Plot templates. The new Call Of Duty for example has a plot so full of clichés it may as well have "produced by Micheal Bay" in the credits. Those clichés in romcoms though I don't understand. Why are people so happy with the genre? Literally every film is the same. Exactly the same. Some handsome brown haired American tossbag or Hugh Grant are lusted after by a hi-lariously kooky woman. They meet, get it on, fall out, get it on. Credits. Tears. It might be because I'm a man but these films are just fucking awful. Its not that I don't like romantic movies. Before Sunrise/Sunset and Eternal Sunshine are a couple of my favourite films. The latter being my all time favourite. I guess I'll never understand. Oh well, at least it keeps Hugh Grant employed.

3. Muse - The Resistance
I remember hearing Plug In Baby for the first time and thinking "well this is a bit good isn't it". Then here we are, however many years down the line and I'm listening to the new album, laughing out loud, because the songs are so bad. I wasn't laughing out loud in a sneering kind of way. I really thought some of these songs could go on Flight Of The Conchords synth rock third album. I know its supposed to be a grower and that old Muse are in there somewhere. But to be honest, I've heard it two or three times now and I really cannot be asked with it. I remember being outraged (mildly I'm a calm person) when I read Kele from Bloc Party state in the NME that Muse were one of the most ridiculous bands he'd ever heard. This was after Absolution came out. They were great to me. I now realise he probably had it right on the money.

2. Saw VI
I mentioned earlier my dislike for "film franchises". Saw is probably the worst of the lot. Just spunking out sequels with no regard for quality of any kind. They're just shit aren't they. Torture porn is all they are. I guess this its in the same camp as Confessions of A Shopaholic. No regard for anything other than the formula. I never walk out of a theatre. But this one really tempted me.

1. Push
Da da da da da daaaaaaaa. Here it is. The real shit-clump of the year. That dangly bit that hangs from sphincter like an 1800's murderer in a noose. Its just awful. It thinks its cool. "Look at me, I'm the new fucking Matrix". Its really about as cool as making soft-core porn with your grand-parents. Yeah soft-core. Not even all the way. That's how uncool this is. Dakota Fanning is unbearable, dressed apparently like a photo in the Daily Mail about New Look's inappropriate wardrobe for 8 year olds. Chris Evans is a dick and then there's some other people who slip my mind. I'm not going to wiki them to find out though, this deserves no more thought from me. This is easily the worst superhero movie I've ever seen and in that genre that's condemnation enough.

Misfits, Comedy Showcase & Miranda

So E4 have done the right thing and taken the only two good shows they've made (apart from The Inbetweeners) and made a new hybrid of sorts. Well loosely. The shows I refer to of course are Skins and Dead Set. The first being the best drama of the decade and the latter being in my top 5 zombie things of all time (In order: 1. Dawn Of The Dead 2. The Walking Dead 3. Shaun Of The Dead 4. Left 4 Dead 5. Dead Set (Dead)). Actually I'd probably swap it for 28 Days Later. But that doesn't have dead at the end. So Misfits is pretty much Skins meets Heroes. First episode introduces the raft of distinctly unlikeable characters. There's a chavy one (She's vulnerable though! Awww), the slutty one, the strong one, the quiet one and the chatty, jokey, pointlessly Irish and overly punchable one. While watching the show this morning (and slightly day-dreaming about the brutal deaths they could commit on the latter character) I pondered whether its about time some shit super powers were brought in to play. Like in The Lost Room, which I watched before, they had objects with pointless powers. This was a breath of fresh air. Surely if powers are given by chance (we obviously don't know yet in this show, there was big bits of hail in the murky storm) then someone should have the power to chat to squirrels, smell limestone or change the size and shape of their anus. I hope something like this is brought in to the show. I somehow doubt it though. Although no-one has been able to fly yet and they even referenced the cliché in the episode. This could be like a Skins in comparison to Grange Hill in terms of genre revitilization. I hope so, as its enjoyable, shot on that same lovely filter as Dead Set and is undoubtedly going to be full of sex, gore and swearing. Lovely.

Channel 4 have got a Comedy Showcase season again. Which is good, new comedy is always good isn't it. Isn't it? Well not always, but more about that later. Last week was Campus which was from the makers of/producers of/someone who once saw Green Wing. Which is a selling point for me. Like putting "From the producers of Superbad" on any comedy is a winner for idiots. Somehow though the program just didn't come together, it may have been because it was a pilot but it more felt like there was no-one really interesting in it. I don't know if its just me I found all the characters unlikeable and tiring. I'm fully aware that half the characters are made to be that but I still felt nothing for them. Empty. I'm sorry Campus, I just. I just can't do it. Its not you its me. Tonight I met (saw) Phoneshop instead. This show on paper looked terrible. In many ways it is as well. But it was quite enjoyable, some good jokes (best was probably the Ross Kemp one from the trailer) and some good characters. Should be more characters though. Five is not enough. Especially when two are made out to be pretty much the same. I'm looking forward to next weeks now. I hope its the one with Will Arnett in. We all love Will Arnett.

You can tell that the BBC is funded by the taxpayer. Else why would anyone choose to make shit sitcoms like Miranda unless you had to. Its got everything you hate about sitcoms. It looks cheap, filmed on around 3 sets, has those same actors you see in everything and worst of all, isn't written by Graham Lineham. Admittedly I liked that Lee Mack one they did. At least that was just him doing bad joke after bad joke. It felt like Friday night comedy, run down after a hard week, beer in hand, dog snoring on the floor, fire blazing. Happy memories. This though. This is made for people that like ITV and read the Daily Mail. Primairly everyone you could say. Poor old Miranda is reduced to making a show about her being lonely and fat as well. Its a shame because she was good in stuff like Hyperdrive. But I guess its in your contract if you're a comedic actor at the BBC. "Do at least one sketch show/sitcom of poor to average quality". In summary, its the worst sitcom I've seen all year. Well probably, I imagine I've blanked the rest out. Hopefully I will for this too.

Gaming Tuesday (On Thursday)

Not fitted an awful lot of gaming in recently, but I have been playing what will probably turn out to be a few of my favourite games of the year. I managed to polish off Batman Arkham Asylum a couple of days ago and I must say I was thoroughly impressed with the game as a whole. Everything about the game is just very solid, all the gameplay works brilliantly, the voice acting is superb and while the plot is not revolutionary for a video game it is entertaining enough to make you persevere. The stealth sections of the game were my personal favourite, sloping around atop gargoyles and under floors picking off guards one by one provided ample opportunity for improvisation and nail-biting tension. Whether or not the game is a solid purchase though is a different matter, I'm yet to attempt the challenges, scout out the hidden extras or tackle hard mode but I'm also not really encouraged to. I would however say its one of the few next gen games that everyone should at least rent. You'll struggle to find a campaign with the diversity to keep you on your toes the whole time.

Its somewhat strange that the two games I happen to complete within a couple of days of each other also happen to be the best I've played (and most likely will play) all year. I am of course referring to Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. With a single player campaign rather short in comparison to Batman (I completed it within one day) it may not have the same depth of single player. But the immersion, and again fantastic gameplay more than alleviate these detractors. With plot so ridiculous even Steven Segal would wince the game plays with its mind closer to the latter Bronsan James Bond films more than Generation Kill. This however does stand at odds with the now infamous "airport" level, which I personally found rather horrible to play. The pace you're forced to walk at encourages you to stare at the screaming, bleeding civilians on the floor. This level of course also stands in very close proximity to one in which you escape from an air base in a hectic snow-mobile chase. Hmmmm. Well the campaign is enjoyable enough, with more twists than a Cheesestring a fair bit of variation as well to keep you interesting. Spec Ops is also a welcome addition, letting you (and a friend if you wish) tackle a few challenges based on both Modern Warfare games. A friend and I spent a good few hours powering through a couple of them and I was very impressed. Great fun and a welcome bit of extra gameplay when you're fed up of feeling depressed in the airport. Its going to be everyone's game of the year, so why not mine as well.

Modern Warfare 2 (2) & Them Crooked Vultures

So sleep does not come. Its a common problem for me. As soon as the lights are off and the night is silent I suddenly decide to take the time to send myself into a panic about everything and nothing. Its worse now when I have nothing to get up for, my sleeping patterns can get very bizarre very quickly when you only sleep when you're tired. Lucky for me tonight has brought me a 5am bounty of things to enjoy and ponder. I earlier wrote about the furore over the new Call Of Duty. It raised a lot of emotions in me, mostly about my dislike for the Daily Mail and the constant games bashing of middle England. But also the realisation that I really wish I had bought the game. Well fate was shining down on me tonight, seems unfortunate that luck only creeps towards me at this time of night though. A small trip to Sainsburys (virtually, our branch is closed for refurbishment) has shown that you can pick up the game for the insulting price of £26. That's more than half the RRP, on the day it comes out. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Delighted that I got it for that price. Also the fuck you to Activision's frankly unfair £54.99 price-tag. Well actually pretty happy all round really. Its a shame that proper game retailers can't compete with that price but at least they can still deal in second hand games for their profit.

The other plunder preventing my late night slumber is the Them Crooked Vultures album which has leaked. By them. To Youtube. Is that a leak? Because the cat is most definitely out of the hat now. Anyway, I'm up to track six (Scumbag Blues) at this point and so far so good. At this rate it may creep into my inevitable top albums of the year list. I may actually get cracking with that soon, I can barely remember what's come out this year. Let alone what I've actually enjoyed. So a good head start will do me well.

Modern Warfare 2

So tonight the biggest game in history saunters on to shelves on a wave of five stars and 100%'s. Almost as predictable as the reviews is the moral outcry against it. Including the rather fantastic statement on the Daily Mail website that players "could plot terror attacks against civilians". This is of course nonsense of the highest degree, taking something completely out of context. But this is also the world we still live in. Video games make more money than any other medium of entertainment, the Wii has even brought gaming into the living room (albeit through the medium of scales and waggling). Yet still the Daily Mail and its blinded followers cannot realise that just because its a video game that doesn't mean its for children. Its got an 18 certificate for a reason, its not there just to make it look like a DVD case. Its there to prevent little Jimmy from blowing off a terrorists head after a tough day of SATS tests. Its like we're in the moral outcry of Betamaxes of Evil Dead circa late 80's all over again. Keith Vaz even had the moral superiority to raise the issue in parliament while opening with the statement "I've neither played nor seen the game". This does not mean you are on the high horse for avoiding it, it means you have no idea what you're fucking talking about. Thankfully my new hero Tom Watson shot him down (HEADSHOT) with a surprisingly knowledgeable viewpoint. Even saying he took the time to see the game. Probably lucky enough to get his pre-order delivered early. Probably on expenses too. Lucky git. He also has taken the time to set up a Facebook group called Gamers' Voice with which he aims to set up a pressure group to stand up for the industry as a whole. This is new ground now, maybe we're on the road to change? Who knows, its too early to say. But with around 3,000 members already after one day you can't shake the feeling that something may well be afoot.

The Lost Room & Lost

I like it when people recommend new shows or films to me. Especially stuff that would never have entered my peripheral vision otherwise. The Lost Room is a prime example of this. The effort it was going to take to watch it all already paid off when I realised there was a Fanning sibling in it. Yeah that's right, another one. Who knew? There's also that bloke from Six Feet Under. That show that you never get round to watching. That and The Sopranos. Probably will make some time for The Sopranos though. Anyway, the premise of the show is this; a motel room in the 60's disbanded from reality creating a host of "objects" with special powers. For example a watch that cooks eggs or glasses that prevent combustion. So there's a key to this mysterious room that floats in another dimension or something and the bloke from Six Feet Under has it. He then loses his daughter in it (mini Fanning) and thus proceeds on an epic quest that takes him all over America (well the shit places like New Mexico and Texas) to find objects to rescue his daughter. Of course its all guff, with characters falling over themselves to help the protagonist and handing over helpful tit-bits with little to no coercion. I even thought that characters constantly stating "But its all I have!" when they hand it over would bare some significance at the end but it did not. Still, I sat through the entire four and a half hours in one sitting as it is enthralling and very entertaining. That bloke from Six Feet Under is also very good and likable in it too, I'm sure he was in Six Feet Under as well but I doubt anyone bothered to watch it all. Anyway, definitely worth picking up and proof that the Sci-Fi channel does more than poor quality Bigfoot movies.

Speaking of Lost I've also been watching Lost. Lost, Lost, Lost. Just felt I needed to write it a few more times there. I'm about halfway through season two now. Although I got up to the end of season two when it was first broadcast on Channel 4 however many years ago. I don't think it was that many. But I remember I was single and still living up in the Midlands. So we're talking at least three years ago (just checked on wiki and 2005/2006 is the date). The funny thing is that I can't really remember what happens more the reactions I felt to what happened. Such as the episode where it shows the other survivors first 48 days and I remember how I found the episode pretty boring and annoying. Surprisingly I felt the same second time round. I've also started to get frustrated by the flashbacks to everyone's old lives, I just want to find out about the island stuff now. I couldn't give a shit if your wife left you, even if it does show more about your character's reasoning, etc. I'll keep ploughing through though, safe in the knowledge that I've got three season of unseen surprises to come afterwards.

Paranormal Activity

Its been a long time since a horror film arrived on a crest of positive hype. For me, the genre has been in a rut for the majority of this decade. So with great excitement I sat down to watch this last night. Lights off, headphones on, 2am. I practically went all out to induce the scares but to be honest they rarely came. This is not to say the film wasn't scary it just lacked big set-pieces really. Although I imagine that would be against the format of the movie, a sacrifice they weren't willing to make. As a film of suspense though it was thoroughly enjoyable, a tangible sense of dread slowing bubbling throughout the picture. The only downside was some very shoddy acting in a few scenes, not the scare scenes surprisingly though. The daytime scenes were sometimes downright cringe worthy and sometimes showed that some scenes were only there to highlight the blight caused by the ghost and were really of no value. To say I didn't like the film would be wrong but to say the film is worth the hype is a different matter.

Saw VI

It seems that every year we get a new Saw movie. Which surely begs the question, who is asking for this? The original was a clever little indie horror movie which was very enjoyable for both its gore and originality at the time. Now we're left with a stumbling behemoth of torn flesh, shit acting and a soap opera story line. I'll admit now that I have only seen the first two Saw movies (prior to this film) but my house mate assured me that I would have no trouble picking up what was going on. Now this should have set alarm bells going off in my head to begin with, you miss a weeks worth of Hollyoaks and someone's died, there's new characters and so-so is pregnant/miscarried/suddenly a child. But when it comes to missing four films? Surely they'll be somethings I need to know. Well there was, but the beauty of the Saw films is they spend the majority of the film explaining what had happened in previous films and then a small part pushing the "story" onwards. Of course I say story, I mean a barrel of shit cakes. As you can probably tell, I didn't enjoy it. Everything about this film is horrible, even the little bit of politicking against the American health care system couldn't appeal to the liberal in me. I won't be watching others its safe to say. I already feel depressed that I have in some way funded the inevitable seventh film.

FlashForward, Batman Arkham Asylum, The Beatles & Biffy Clyro

I've been following FlashForward rather eagerly since it started, like a magpie chasing the Silver Surfer. The premise is so simple yet can offer so many possibilities. I've watched up until episode 5. I could have watched episode 6 too but I thought I should save it. Or more truthfully I was itching to clamber into the Bat-cape. Things have moved on quite nicely, with whether the flashforwards themselves are visions of the future or imagined nonsense still hanging in the balance. There was one cheapening factor in which to keep people interested it brought in hot lesbians. Now as a male I obviously love the idea of hot lesbians. We all do. I imagine lesbians themselves do as well. But it felt like it may have been a bit overplayed. Especially since the whole African tangent is hotting up. I'll watch episode 6 tonight or tomorrow to see what's happening.

So I dived in a bit further to Batman today. Its giving me that same vibe I got from Bioshock which is very exciting. So far everything works well, the combat, the detective mode and the fantastic voice acting. If I was to criticise one thing it would be that when Batman decides there needs to be a "crime scene" (he's like a goth Sherlock) there is always something conspicuously lying around. Not like a hair or a bit of clothing, more like his hip-flask or a pipe. Admittedly the pipe was left deliberately as said in the story. This is how much I'm struggling to get annoyed with it. I'm going to savour this one, I've got that GOTY feeling for it. We shall see.

I don't want to review The Beatles really. What's the point? They're awesome. Fact. If you say they're not its just to be edgy. Everyone likes at least one of their songs if not most of them. Which leads me to mention that today they are suing BlueBeat for selling their MP3's. Which firstly is fair doos really. But begs the question why not sell the MP3's? You can talk shit about people not appreciating the albums anymore when they can hear individual songs but does that even matter? Cd's have allowed skipping since they began so that's hardly a new issue. It just seems like a massive disservice to the greatest band of all time to not let everyone have the chance to hear them. Even if you just sell them through one website it'll do. We're almost a tenth of the way through the 00's, its about time they caught up.

Ah Biffy Clyro. One of my favourite bands. You even released "Mountains" and therefore put the gauntlet down for the next Meatloaf and I still stood by. But now you have released Only Revolutions, an album that has a lot riding on it. Puzzle didn't necessarily divide the hardcore Team Biffy like myself but it made us question. The set-lists in the following gigs certainly did though, I walked out of the Reading 2008 gig after hearing Puzzle live for what felt like the millionth time. This new album though has again left me unsure though, on my first listen it just feels alright. Acoustic tracks like "God & Satan" are a welcome addition to the Biffy arsenal. But the twisted, frantic rock of yore is lost and replaced with polished, pop rock everywhere else. It'll obviously take time to get into and I'm sure in time it'll be deep in my affections but Biffy do like to leave me hanging these days. I know they've got a great album left in them. But who knows when or if they'll deliver it.

Various Titbits #3

Been away for a little while, everyone needs a holiday every now and again. Of course a holiday for me usually entails doing things I usually do in a different place with different people. This was not to dissimilar. Aside from the copious amounts of drinking I managed to catch a few films at the the multiplexes. By a few I mean two. Although for me that's usually 6 months of cinema trips. The first film I traveled to witness was Fantastic Mr Fox. Although before that I saw the trailer for the new Alvin & The Chipmunks picture. I mention this because it was simply the worst thing I have ever had the unfortunate blessing to witness. I only hope no one else has to suffer my pain. Actually you should watch it. It'll make anything seem good in comparison. I mean anything as well. Anyway, the main feature is what could be described as standard Wes Anderson affair. That is of course understating the wonder of that label. The film is gloriously uplifting in a subtle, deadpan and touching way which you rarely see outside of the Anderson canon. I pretty much cackled my way through it, not many of the kids in the cinema did though. Overall, Anderson is an acquired taste but once you like it you're rarely disappointed.

The second film I went to see was post-apocalyptic hessian adventure 9 (or nine if you're a stickler). For fans of Burton (who produced this along with Nightwatch director Timur Bekmambetov) you'll probably enjoy the surreal monsters and heroes in a nicely animated world. Personally I couldn't shake an over-hanging deja vu. I'm not sure if its entirely intentional but a lot of the things felt very recycled if you've played any video games this generation. LittleBigPlanet for the heroes, Half Life 2 for the robot, even an overlying feeling of Fallout 3 in the setting. These played on my mind a lot while I was watching the film and more than anything couldn't help but think that it was just one long cut-scene and eventually it was going to chuck me, controller in hand, into play. The plot even felt more like that of a video game than one from a film. All this aside though, the people I went with enjoyed it on its own merit so I may just be being picky.

Finally in game related news I returned home to find Batman Arkham Asylum (finally!), Eternal Sonata and two copies of Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on my door mat (well on my bed, I don't live alone). Fired up Batman for a quick 10 minutes and had a little play, not got any further than the expeditions of the demo yet though so no new opinion upon it. No doubt it'll be the one I plough the most time into though over the next few days. Going to get properly stuck into it tomorrow. Can't wait.