Trials HD

It's not just been football for the past week, there's a clearout going on over on the Xbox Live Arcade. I've snapped up three in total; 'splosion Man, Zombie Apocalypse and Trials HD. The third of which has engrossed me the most. Trials is simple in it's design. Accelerate, brake, lean forward and lean back. That's all you need to know. Well that and the instant restart button (B) or even level restart if you're going for medals (back button). The aim is equally plain: get to the end of the course. That's it. But what sounds like a shallow experience confounds to be completely rewarding. The levels slowly increase in complexity, requiring precise accuracy and timing. This obviously leads to moments of screaming frustration but those depths are overcome by the dizzying heights of passing the section. The instant restart button (which if you're anything like me will have your finger constantly hovering over it) will become your best friend and has no loading to prevent added frustration. Trials just nails that rare balance of frightfully challenging gameplay and disturbingly addictive playability meaning that you will easily sink up to 45 minutes on one section without realising you've made 400 failed attempts. It's been lorded everywhere as one of the best on XBLA and for me it easily is up there and for 560 points it's a steal.

Prose

He stares mournfully out the window, rain dashing against the pane creating a somewhat fitting cliché. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders forcing his head to lull below them. He turns his back to the room, barely lit by the dimmed bulb in the corner, and walks to the table. In front rests the source of his woes, a culmination of toil and despair. His hand rattles with trepidation as it reaches for the pen, his heart says no but his head says yes. The teeth grit, the muscles tense, the beads of sweat form on his brow as the pen is lowered to the page. It's done. He stands and turns to the window, turning his back on his actions. As a solitary tear runs down his face the "England 0-0 Algeria" scoreline on the wall-chart flickers in the lamplight.

World Cup First Round (Of Matches)

It's all gone so fast hasn't it? Been a flurry of misplaced passes, hoofing clearances, spooned free-kicks and BEES, FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE oh wait no it's vuvuzelas. Last year I remember texting in to the BBC text coverage of the Confederations Cup saying the vuvuzelas were annoying "but beats the England Supporters Band". How lucky we were then that they joyously combined in England's opening embarrassment against the USA in a cacophony of loud, continuous pain. Which was the perfect metaphor for the stilted and predictable England performance which would have duly provided a 1-0 win had Green not succumbed to a mistake that puts him in happy company with Carson, Robinson and Seaman.

The cup on the whole has been a let down though, a fearful trepidation gripping the majority of big teams leaving their strike forces impotent and nets unwavered. Germany fought this though with a stonking win over the Aussies, 4-0 barely covered the free-flowing attacking football they were playing. It was mesmerising stuff that Argentina, Spain and Holland hinted at but with less finishing prowess. The games have still been great fun though; North Korea surprising us all with a spirited display, New Zealand with a dramatic equalizer, Japan and South Korea both earning good victories being highlights. The less said about Slovenia v Algeria though the better. Anyway, we stand on the cusp of improvement. Forlan dragged Uruguay into a deserved win over the Bafana Bafana tonight promising a few more goals than we've had so far. Here's hoping anyway as having watched every game so far I think I deserve a bit of gratuitous net bulging.

World Cup Excitement

It's finally here. Four years is a long time. Especially with no English involvement in the 2008 Euro Championships to help stave off the boredom. But at least now, with two days to go, we can unleash all that English pride and bravado we do so well at hiding away. Although this year most people seem to be starting their predictions with the word "realistically". Which makes a change from blaring out The Lightning Seeds and blindly chanting the affectionate nicknames of our nation's finest. But could this be because we stand a better chance now than we ever have before?

Probably not. These days getting to see the likes of Torres, Anelka and Fabregas strut their stuff in the Premiership means we're more familiar with the world's greatest than ever. We're also hardly unfamiliar with the likes of Messi and Ronaldo in Spain thanks to the Champions League as well. Which means that we have even more reason to do the truely English gesture of being pessimistic from the onset. I wouldn't rule us out, but our knack to capitulate in big tournaments is an outcome more likely than the consistency required to go all the way. A few predictions then, hopefully more successful than my Glasto ones.

Winners: Brazil
Runners-up: Argentina
Third: Italy
Fourth: England (felt very optimistic saying we'd beat France though)

Golden Boot: Van Persie
Silver Boot: Luis Fabiano (covering my bases really with that one)

Surprises:
North Korea won't be shit
Japan and South Korea will prosper through organisation alone
All of the big teams will qualify top of their group

Let downs:
Spain and Holland will both capitulate after amazing starts
African nations will disappoint, Ivory Coast especially
England will go out in the semis/quarters in extra time

Outside bet for winning: Holland
Outside bet for performing well: Serbia/Slovenia/North Korea

Undoubtedly all these will be proved wrong come the end of the tournament.