Films 2010

Lastly some films. Probably the hardest to put together as well.

1) The Social Network

2) Inception

3) Toy Story 3

4) Monsters

5) Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

6) Kick-Ass

7) Four Lions

8) How To Train Your Dragon

9) The Illusionist

10) Shutter Island

Music 2010

As ever I started the year trying to listen to as many albums as possible and ended it with 100's of plays of the same ones. Number one was hands down this year though and I won't hear anything else otherwise.

Top 10 Albums

1) Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma

2) The National - High Violet

3) Frightened Rabbit - The Winter Of Mixed Drinks

4) Four Tet - There Is Love In You

5) Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

6) LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening

7) Gold Panda - Lucky Shiner

8) Caribou - Swim

9) Foals - Total Life Forever

10) Warpaint - The Fool

Honourable Mentions

Laura Marling - I Speak Because I Can

Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Hot Chip - One Life Stand

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

A Few Disappointments

M.I.A - MAYA

Klaxons - Surfing The Void

Kate Nash - My Best Friend Is You

Vampire Weekend - Contra

Zola Jesus - Stridulum II

Top 10 Tracks

1) Flying Lotus - Do The Astral Plane

2) Frightened Rabbit - The Loneliness And The Scream

3) The National - Terrible Love

4) Gold Panda - You (Album Closer)

5) Flying Lotus - Kill Your Co-Workers

6) Hans Zimmer - Dream Is Collapsing

7) M.I.A - Born Free

8) Daft Punk - Derezzed

9) The Gaslamp Killer - Carpool Dummy

10) Foals - This Orient

Games 2010

2010 has been a pretty strong year for the industry as a whole. Black Ops has made over £1 billion, Microsoft and Sony have made us the controller and Blizzard only went and released Starcraft 2 and a WoW expansion in the same year. Still got a few games to get through (AC:Brotherhood, Singularity, Rock Band 3, Need For Speed, Vanquish, Fable 3 and New Vegas a few who have slipped through the net thus far) but, hey, I'm not made of money. So here's a few top fives.

Top 5 360

1) Red Dead Redemption

2) Alan Wake

3) Just Cause 2

4) Mass Effect 2

5) Fifa 11

Top 5 XBLA

1) Limbo

2) Super Meat Boy

3) Worms 2

4) Sonic 4 Episode 1

5) Lara Croft: GOL

A Few Disappointments

Black Ops

Alien Vs Predator

Halo Reach

Splinter Cell: Conviction

Scott Pilgrim: The Game

Honourable Mentions

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver

Football Manager 2011

Flight Control HD

Split/Second

Bioshock 2

Dead Rising 2

Now I've got a current gen PC, I might be able to expand my horizons in 2011. Still no PS3 or Wii though.

Quick Rant

Quick rant. The dust is starting to settle on the recent events up in Tyneside and yet it still makes little to no sense. Chris Hughton gets sacked after a run of 5 games without a win. On paper it seems logical. Given it's Newcastle as well it seems very logical, well for them. But yet this is the first sacking at the club for a long time that has left me bemused, upset and downright angry with the the blatant short-sightedness of the club and it's owner.

This time two years ago Newcastle were an absolute state. In fact this time 18 months ago we were a complete mess. To take us from the relegation joke team to being back in the Premiership and shipping 5 one week and scoring 5 the next is an achievement. We're not the Newcastle of yesteryear, but we're certainly playing with the same excitement and inconsistency of it. This is the reason you love the team as a fan. Seeing us get hammered by West Brom is depressing and as upsetting as it gets, but not two months ago we smashes Sunderland so hard I almost got in a fight watching it for just wearing a Newcastle shirt. As a fan, this year has been brilliant, I couldn't have asked for more.

But yet no we're faced with Pardew, a man so bland you forget his face every moment you're not looking at it. He's also signed a 5 and a half year deal which really shows how much of a joke this whole situation is. I will be amazed if he makes it to the end of the season. Which is what brings me to the overall focus of my ire. Ashley has managed this club worse than the Americans do their secrets. Just one mess after another. Like an elderly dog with the shits we continually stumble through the footballing calender emptying our bowels in a fit of embarrassment at the slightest opportunity. There is literally no logic behind this move given he's trying to sell the club. Not even the most naive of Saudi business men would purchase a club with that dead weight strapped to the front for 5 and a half years.

We'll see how we do on Saturday against the previous "biggest joke in the Premiership team" Liverpool. He'll need a lot more than a result there to prove his worth though.

Holidays In The Sun

So I've been away for a while. Been busy you could say. Although you probably shouldn't. I've changed up a lot of things, grown as a person. Mainly outwardly though to be honest. Still, I've learnt a lot along the way. Here's a small list of the most important.

1.) Most problems can be solved by not doing much. I found myself in debt, adrift and on the verge of spending my days watching Jeremy Kyle and weeping into a bowl of Cornflakes. However, an afternoon spent making CV's and then one handing them in later I found myself employed (twice over in fact) and then, through a few extra forms, enrolled at the OU. Debt crisis was averted through ignoring phone calls then agreeing to pay off some every month with my freshly earned pay cheques. And voila, future sorted. I always complain about being unlucky, but green was certain rubbed in my favour on this one.

2) I am wrong about almost everything. Living with more than 0 people that I talk to every day leads to discussions about many things; music, politics, how to deal with the sexual advances of Stephen Fry. However, blindly arguing about things you don't understand doesn't always win the day. For example, not the other day, I was discussing about how I hate Twitter. To me it seems like it's a venue for people to bum celebrities and post one liners of middling quality. Yet, even when it's just used in that manner, it's extremely fun. Yet another example of my hypocrisy.

3) Not everyone enjoys films because they're shit. Exaggeration is a disease we all suffer from time to time. Yet, claiming Deja Vu or Domino (or possibly all of the Tony Scott canon) are brilliant because of their dizzying level of shitness is a misfire of larger proportions. Glasses that see into the past. Come on Denzel.

And finally.

SFC, the king of hungover food.

The best Christmas song sounds like a Hungarian wedding.

Newcastle are unpredictable no matter what league they're in.

Having two jobs makes it a lot easier to enjoy one a lot more than other.

Studying something you're vaguely interested in makes it a lot easier to read the textbooks.

Limbo

Last year's Arcade of Summer, Summer of Arcade or whatever it was called gifted us the wonderful Trials HD and Shadow Complex to name but two. This year's premier offering is something a little more, shall we say, pretentious. Limbo is the visually striking tale of a boy's lone journey in to "Limbo" (in speech marks thanks to now being abolished) and basically, that's it. Of course, it being an XBLA title such pointless attachments as plot, voice-acting, tacked on multiplayer are all left aside, leaving you with a touching, un-nerving trip which will induce delight, puzzlement and anger all in equal measure. These are the signs of what make it great though, the satisfaction of solving another devilish complexity massively outweighs the crippling sadness of repeating the same failing attempt at progression. Prepare a slot on your end of year lists.

In other gaming news: RDR. Got a donkey. Did lots of missions. Bonded. Named it Juliet. Watched in vain as it got shot by Mexicans. Too devastated to play again. Wonderful game.

Inception

It's very rare that you can go to the cinema and see something that has the financial backing the same size as the budget deficit but isn't about moping vampires or fighting robots. Inception is not like anything you'll see at the cinema this year. Unless you deliberately go to an art cinema to watch an obscure foreign film just to say otherwise. But then you'd be a pretentious shit. So swings and roundabouts. The lead up to this film was very hush hush and with good reason. It's hard to explain what happens without it sounding like a confusing mess. But basically, it's a film about people who trained to steal information and ideas from peoples dreams who take up the oppertunity to place an idea in someone's head through "inception". It's essentially a heist movie. He gets the job offer, assembles a team, starts the heist. You know the rest.

It's so much more than that though. The outlandish setting keeps you on your toes the whole time. Not to mention that the visuals are stunning, some of the best I have ever seen. Suffice to say that the scenes from the trailer are even more mind-blowing at the multiplex. The script, whilst a little wordy, keeps the balance of complex and engaging and Di Caprio leads with a great performance, with the rest of the cast not too far behind. But overall it's the perfect cinema experience, the perfect to retort to whether Avatar is the future of cinema. It doesn't have to be, we just need more big budget, big idea masterpieces like this. In a word stunning.

Red Dead Redemption

It's funny how you can instantly fall in love with a game for the the poorest reasons. Like being able to name your rival "Tosser" in the Pokemon games and then laugh hysterically every time you run in to him on the SS Anne. Or that in the latest FIFA game you scan a photo of your face in with a ridiculous glitter Hitler moustache and watch yourself do cartwheels with a silvery upper lip every time you score. As they say, it's the little things. In Red Dead Redemption you can shoot animals, skin them, and then sell said skin for a small profit. On paper it's dull. In practice it's probably also quite dull. However I've spent 3 of my first four hours playtime doing it. Painfully addictive. I haven't even found a bear yet. I'll never do anything else if I find one. For me it proves the level of immersion this game offers. GTA IV suffered from a slightly stilted and familiar setting. We've been stealing yellow cabs for ten years now in various guises. RDR opens up the world of the Western to a new generation and feels very fresh in comparison. The greatest test will of course be whether I can now buy and wear a pair of cowboy boots without being socially outcast. The proof will be in the freshly skinned carcass no doubt.

World Cup

A lot has gone on since my inaugural declaration of disappointment in the tournament. Firstly then, England. In many ways it was no different at all, watching Heskey running on in the 70th odd minute to save the game is a sadly familiar sight to us all. Yet the pain of it all still rests high on the shoulders. It's easy to sit and point the blame at the under-performing players; Rooney, Lampard (as ever), Terry, Johnson. But my real bugbear was Capello's unwillingness to change it up at all. It's a World Cup after all, you can't put your best players out and the rub your hands as the magic happens. But, the stern Italian is staying and will hopefully realise a lot of the horses in this team need to go out to pasture.

Luckily for us though this World Cup's middle name has been capitulation. France were more farcical than even the most optimistic of alliterative writers. Italy played as much exciting football as the Sam Allardyce dream league and then there's the likes of Ivory Coast, Cameroon and South Africa all doing wonders for Pele's predictions of greatness for African football. But even with these let-downs it's been a great ride. Germany's demolitions of both England and Argentina were as ruthless as stereotypes would suggest and point to a horrid time for sluggish Spain in the semis. The rise of outsiders Uruguay have brought much joy to many disgruntled English fans like myself but it's Holland that are my favourite though. I've always had a soft spot for the neon orange of the Dutch. The return of Robben has sparked them into life and an unfathomable win over everyone's tip Brazil. Should they beat underdogs Uruguay in the semis we'll be left with a head says Germany and heart says Holland final of epic proportions. Who ever said football wasn't exciting?

Trials HD

It's not just been football for the past week, there's a clearout going on over on the Xbox Live Arcade. I've snapped up three in total; 'splosion Man, Zombie Apocalypse and Trials HD. The third of which has engrossed me the most. Trials is simple in it's design. Accelerate, brake, lean forward and lean back. That's all you need to know. Well that and the instant restart button (B) or even level restart if you're going for medals (back button). The aim is equally plain: get to the end of the course. That's it. But what sounds like a shallow experience confounds to be completely rewarding. The levels slowly increase in complexity, requiring precise accuracy and timing. This obviously leads to moments of screaming frustration but those depths are overcome by the dizzying heights of passing the section. The instant restart button (which if you're anything like me will have your finger constantly hovering over it) will become your best friend and has no loading to prevent added frustration. Trials just nails that rare balance of frightfully challenging gameplay and disturbingly addictive playability meaning that you will easily sink up to 45 minutes on one section without realising you've made 400 failed attempts. It's been lorded everywhere as one of the best on XBLA and for me it easily is up there and for 560 points it's a steal.

Prose

He stares mournfully out the window, rain dashing against the pane creating a somewhat fitting cliché. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders forcing his head to lull below them. He turns his back to the room, barely lit by the dimmed bulb in the corner, and walks to the table. In front rests the source of his woes, a culmination of toil and despair. His hand rattles with trepidation as it reaches for the pen, his heart says no but his head says yes. The teeth grit, the muscles tense, the beads of sweat form on his brow as the pen is lowered to the page. It's done. He stands and turns to the window, turning his back on his actions. As a solitary tear runs down his face the "England 0-0 Algeria" scoreline on the wall-chart flickers in the lamplight.

World Cup First Round (Of Matches)

It's all gone so fast hasn't it? Been a flurry of misplaced passes, hoofing clearances, spooned free-kicks and BEES, FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE oh wait no it's vuvuzelas. Last year I remember texting in to the BBC text coverage of the Confederations Cup saying the vuvuzelas were annoying "but beats the England Supporters Band". How lucky we were then that they joyously combined in England's opening embarrassment against the USA in a cacophony of loud, continuous pain. Which was the perfect metaphor for the stilted and predictable England performance which would have duly provided a 1-0 win had Green not succumbed to a mistake that puts him in happy company with Carson, Robinson and Seaman.

The cup on the whole has been a let down though, a fearful trepidation gripping the majority of big teams leaving their strike forces impotent and nets unwavered. Germany fought this though with a stonking win over the Aussies, 4-0 barely covered the free-flowing attacking football they were playing. It was mesmerising stuff that Argentina, Spain and Holland hinted at but with less finishing prowess. The games have still been great fun though; North Korea surprising us all with a spirited display, New Zealand with a dramatic equalizer, Japan and South Korea both earning good victories being highlights. The less said about Slovenia v Algeria though the better. Anyway, we stand on the cusp of improvement. Forlan dragged Uruguay into a deserved win over the Bafana Bafana tonight promising a few more goals than we've had so far. Here's hoping anyway as having watched every game so far I think I deserve a bit of gratuitous net bulging.

World Cup Excitement

It's finally here. Four years is a long time. Especially with no English involvement in the 2008 Euro Championships to help stave off the boredom. But at least now, with two days to go, we can unleash all that English pride and bravado we do so well at hiding away. Although this year most people seem to be starting their predictions with the word "realistically". Which makes a change from blaring out The Lightning Seeds and blindly chanting the affectionate nicknames of our nation's finest. But could this be because we stand a better chance now than we ever have before?

Probably not. These days getting to see the likes of Torres, Anelka and Fabregas strut their stuff in the Premiership means we're more familiar with the world's greatest than ever. We're also hardly unfamiliar with the likes of Messi and Ronaldo in Spain thanks to the Champions League as well. Which means that we have even more reason to do the truely English gesture of being pessimistic from the onset. I wouldn't rule us out, but our knack to capitulate in big tournaments is an outcome more likely than the consistency required to go all the way. A few predictions then, hopefully more successful than my Glasto ones.

Winners: Brazil
Runners-up: Argentina
Third: Italy
Fourth: England (felt very optimistic saying we'd beat France though)

Golden Boot: Van Persie
Silver Boot: Luis Fabiano (covering my bases really with that one)

Surprises:
North Korea won't be shit
Japan and South Korea will prosper through organisation alone
All of the big teams will qualify top of their group

Let downs:
Spain and Holland will both capitulate after amazing starts
African nations will disappoint, Ivory Coast especially
England will go out in the semis/quarters in extra time

Outside bet for winning: Holland
Outside bet for performing well: Serbia/Slovenia/North Korea

Undoubtedly all these will be proved wrong come the end of the tournament.

Singles Review

Probably worth saying that I don't actually buy singles. In fact the only CD I've bought in the last year is Flying Lotus. Only bought Future Of The Left last year as well. Downloads (legal of course) are the format of choice these days. This is more a summary of the four tracks that have been sending those crazy cats over on Hype Machine wild. You know, those tossers who have Pitchfork as their homepage.

First up is Klaxons with Flashover. First thing you notice is how dirty it sounds, like they've spent their entire time playing in the mud as opposed to honing their sound. It's not too much of a departure from their usual shtick but that's in no way a bad thing. Solid opening. 8/10

Kanye is also back with his first song since Gay Fish with newie Power. It's got a big beat to it that almost harks back to Jesus Walks. More than anything there's not a hint of that horrible T-Pain esque auto tune that was all his last album seemed to amount to. The lyrics are the usual "Kanye is amazing" stuff, but that's probably what we love him for. 7/10

Most excitingly really is Papermill from Madvillian's long awaited second album. The beat is amazing, the perfect evolution from the 50's comic book aping debut. The mixing of DOOM's rap however, is less good riding much to high and making him sound lazy and almost uninterested in the going's on. Undoubtedly Madlib will be layering on the polish before this one hits though. Optimism still at a maximum. 6/10

Finally (the) Arcade Fire have returned with the bewilderingly uplifting Suburbs. It opens like the long lost cousin of The National's So Far Around The Bend and pretty much continues in that vein. A nice catchy chorus saves the day on this one, hinting at a more pop orientated sound for the new album. But this is the Arcade Fire so they could have recorded them weeping into an accordion for 45 minutes for all we know. 9.6 on Pitchfork probably then. 7/10

U2 Pull Out Of Glastonbury

A big hoo-hah was made earlier this year when the Eavis' confirmed U2 for the Friday night headline slot. Initial fears suggested that they would just belt out the same old songs on a smaller, less ostentatiously ridiculous stage. However, this week saw our worst fears confirmed when Bono had to pull out after having emergency spinal surgery. Even if you don't like Bono (proportionately speaking you probably don't), you can't help but wince at the thought of it. So whilst Bono lies in bed, surrounded by piles of money and sunglasses and weeping himself to painful slumber thinking about all the good deeds he's not being able to do, we're left with a void that needs to be filled. Obviously not a precise void. I can't see the auditions for a "smug, sunglasses adorned know it all", "hat wearing, pedal obsessed, name changing cock" and "other two" being necessary. Rumours are rife and varied, much like the pre-festival speculation. The favourite is obviously Chris Martin riding in on his middling, strumming Coldplay stallion. You can picture him running, twirling, leaping on to stage as a surprise act only to be stopped in his tracks by the audible noise of an entire festival deflating. 6 Music reported on Led Zep stepping up, although that's unlikely as is the many people I've seen crow out for The Libertines. One thing I'm glad I'm missing at Reading this year is watching them trying to fill a stadium on glory's past and forgotten. They were good, but they weren't The Strokes. There's also the long shots of Dylan, Bowie, Radiohead and even The Smiths but a lot of hope will be needed for them to come true. Best familiarize yourself with Viva La Vida then. They're not that bad really....

Flaming Lips are on the Other Stage you know.

EDIT: Literally minutes later Gorillaz are confirmed as the replacement. Glad to be wrong for a change!

The Walking Dead & Luther

So before I watch Scanners on the iPlayer (yeah it's that kind of day) I thought I'd reminisce about the last week or so which I've mainly spent re-reading The Walking Dead comics. I'm not a big comic book fan but this series has sunk it's claws into me. Not too much though, I only buy the hardback editions and only then when I have the money/remember I have the money/kid myself that I do have the money. I delved back in last week because my copy of the third book recently arrived and the fourth should soon (if it doesn't I'm in trouble because I'm moving house next week). The premise is simple in that it's the same as every zombie movie/book/game you've encountered. The twist, however, is that the story "never ends". Which from a writer's perspective is money in the bank. At first you might snidely point out clichés and inspirations (the main character waking up in a hospital is not exactly original) in it, but you slowly warm to it as the characters grow in front of you and the story slowly propels them forward. It's primarily about the people and the effects on them. The zombies are only a factor in this. Of course, add in bountiful swearing, violence and all kinds of wrongs (there's several scenes in the third book that are not for the faint hearted) and you've got an addictive and enthralling piece of literature. Hopefully my fourth book will arrive tomorrow, so I can sit in the garden and read it in the sun with a glass of iced beer. But then it'll be the wait for coins for the fifth book which isn't due until May 31st. Sad times.

In between perching and scouring through graphic novels I've sat down with Stringer Bell's foray into BBC crime solving. It's no Wallander that's for sure. No lingering shots of countryside, story threads of parental illness or (probably most unfortunately of all) funny Swedish names. Luther is set in Laaandaan, or I believe it's safe to assume this from his boss' ripe accent. Anyway, he accidentally puts a paedo in a coma and goes off work for a while before returning to his job straight in to a case of a stunningly attractive mental case murderer with his marriage and mental health falling down around him. It's one of those shows that's clearly too bombastic but yet is still strangely enjoyable. The support are good barring his little runt partner who has played a prick in some BBC Three Two Pints spin off. A crime that cannot be forgiven. The first two episodes are an entertaining yarn and hopefully they shall continue in this vein. Suspension of belief required obviously though.

Cameron, Chelski & C...Fulham

Although they probably went about encouraging it in the wrong the way I think young people have become more involved in this election than those of years before. This frankly upsetting video (which Charlie Brooker claims was genuinely produced for this) aside of course. A straw poll of Facebook reactions show this is true, at least amongst my brethren. People were chirping left, right, and (most commonly) centre right about their thoughts and feelings on the candidates. Personally I can't help but feel aggrieved about Cameron's claiming of the crown though. The Tories are renowned for their loathing of the poor and hatred of all things free and equal (BBC, NHS). Yet through a campaign of full frontal nonsense they've squeezed into power like Dawn French clambering into a morph suit. You can't help but feel disillusioned when their obvious and shameful tactics (funded by a man who is so uniformly evil he eats children just for thrill of it) secured them the passageway to destroying a country that is already on the brink of collapse. But then again, given the shit-storm Labour have sat through for the last few years you can't blame everyone for their shortsightedness.

In many ways Chelsea's title win is the perfect metaphor for this. Whilst we revel in the glory of Man United being dethroned we're still celebrating the victory of a team that have bought their way to success with none of their winning squad coming from the youth ranks or even the lower leagues. At least they had the good grace to win it in a romping style though. For that I can commend them. Which leaves us with the only light at the end of the tunnel right now, good ol' Roy and his worthy bunch. I do hope they put in a good showing, it wouldn't half cheer the country right up. Whatever happens though, Fulham have been an inspiration this season and deserve their moment in the spotlight tomorrow more than any other English team.

Cameron's March To The Apocalypse

So Thursday was the General Election that we've all been waiting for. The bloke on the left has been especially looking forward to it, rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of waltzing into Number 10 on that hallowed Friday after a brief jolly round after the foxes. Unfortunately for him we have a hung parliament instead which means that although the majority of the county liked his smug, posh cake hole there wasn't enough seats in the colour of blue for a full majority. I stayed up to watch this spectacle unfold. Worse than that, I sobered up watching this spectacle unfold. Not a sobering in terms of political disillusionment, a genuine alcohol recovery. This was due to the fact that I got locked out, went to the pub to wait for a house-mate to get back and ended up starting an all night binge because I got too involved in the 20/20 cricket. Good game is was too. Anyway, I got back about 1ish and watched the BBC coverage which was seemingly broadcast from some kind of extravagant James Bond-esque lair. Things got worse than that though. The slightly frantic coverage would skip between a variety of seemingly strange events. Firstly Jeremy Vine has taken the "Swingometer" to a new level and entered the world of Tron with PS1 graphics. Scenarios where he's climbing stairs to compare vote share tallys beg the question "how did they do that?" but also (and more appropriately) "why?". Then there's the horrifying moment where Dimbleby would utter "and now over to Andrew on the boat". Andrew is a man with a wig that defies comprehension and array of guests and dull chatter that make you reach for the shotgun. All the stars were there, from Kirsty Alsopp to Bruce Forsyth. There was the grilling of Lord Ashcroft to brighten things up though which in many ways felt like an alternate more subdued finale of The Devil's Advocate. The man practically drips evil. No wonder he lives abroad, probably found somewhere he can drink the blood of virgins unnoticed. On the whole though there just wasn't enough of Paxman yelling at the video screen like a demented villain making his demands. Those moments were just priceless. Anyway, we've now got a few days to see if Clegg fancies a bedfellow or if we're going to be back down the village hall again. Either way lets enjoy these few days where we technically have no government.

Halo Reach, Humble Bundle and more Pokémon

So last night saw the meticulously well planned, hushed, almost understated launch of the Halo Reach beta. I of course talk in jest. It was horrible. Well, not horrible. Just painfully dull. Took me about 3-4 hours to successfully download the beta which left me almost too embarrassed to play it having spent so long staring at a 99% completion bar. I did of course play it though and to my great delight (read tearful disappointment) I played about four round of Oddball in a row. Which just turned into manic re-spawn, shoot, pick up ball, die, re-spawn, etc. I was frightfully underwhelmed. I went back today though, more out of blind optimism than anything, and was greatly surprised at how much more fun it was than the night before. A few games of the new four on four slayer mode are the reason. I'm still yet to get to grips truly with the new armour add-ons though. The jet-pack is fun, useful and seamless in it's integration into the Halo fold. The invincibility punch thing is good when you know what you're doing. Sprint is sprint and I haven't fiddled with invisibility yet. Been on the receiving end of all of them though, so there must be a good use for them all. I'll delve back in at some point as it's only on for two weeks or so anyway.

Found a decent deal as well today. 5 indie games on a pay what you like scheme found here. The games in question are World Of Goo (which I already own and love) and four others I'm not familiar with (Aquaria, Gish, Lugaru HD, Penumbra). They seem to be broad in genres and graphical styles but when you're paying what you like I guess complaints aren't something you can have. Finally on the Pokémon front things are looking good. Got 7 badges now and a squad of relative quality. Found some other new features, namely some bizarre arena where you complete athletics challenges with your Pokémon via the stylus and much screen stroking. Hmmmm. Good job it's still a quality Pokémon game then.

Pokémon

Pokémon will always hold a place in my affections. It was my first love really, before women, alcohol and other more alluring prospects came about. I'm ashamed to say I've owned pretty much every Gameboy iteration of Pokémon at some point. Including Pinball and the Trading Card Game one. So, under the guise of peer of pressure from a friend, I've bought the new one. Soul Silver to be exact. Not quite sure why they've been named Soul Silver and Heart Gold. Just sounds a bit shit really. But then again this from the company that named their world conquering console the "Wii" so titling their products obviously isn't the highest thing on the agenda. Anyway, the games are a re-skin of fan favourites Gold and Silver with a few bells and whistles. The shiniest of these is a Pokéwalker which lets you wander round with your favourite little beast while catching Pokémon and getting items. However I found that I could never find an item in the mini game and Pidgeys would be all I could find Pokémon wise. So, pointless then I guess. The game itself though is still as glorious as ever. I've just got to the third Gym city (Goldenrod) so plenty left to do for me. Puzzles have been rejigged and few other things tweaked from what I remember but nothing that's mind-blowing as yet. The highlight is still probably giving your little beasts "hilarious" names. Was worth digging my DS out for the first time in a year anyway. Although if I could find that copy of Zoo Keeper I'd use it a whole lot more.

Also got my copy of Cosmogramma delivered a few days early, which was nice. Pretty much the same as the leak but without the hassle of the tracks being out of order and labeled incorrectly. It's certainly growing on me a lot more now than when I first got it. Not as much as High Violet by The National is though. I can't seem to stop listening to it. Also got Jason and The Argonauts and the original Clash Of The Titans delivered as well. Can't beat a bit of Harryhausen.

Bit O' Footie

I know, I can't believe it either. How can the biggest match of the year be so painfully dull. It was like watching Bolton against the Bolton reserves at times. Possibly the dullest European match I've seen since the equally dull first leg of Bayern v Lyon. But somehow he did it. Jose "The Messiah" Mourinho performed that radical measure of parking the bus in front of the goal for 90 minutes. I'm sure they'll be a lot of hyperbole about how great of a coup it was and that but at the end of the day he did what 95% of us would do in Football Manager. Only in Football Manager you'd end up conceding the full quotient of 2 goals Barca needed at the end as opposed to the one they got. But Football Manager famously hates you as much as you love it. The cruel bitch it is. Barca's goal was good however, Pique turning and shooting with more nous than poor old Ibrahimovic showed in his rather stale outing. But, on the whole, Barca were poor and resorted too often to Arsenal-esque shooting from distance or aimless passing midway in Inter's half. That was when they got the chance to play of course. Inter were going down more often than a granny on the ice as they say. So now we're left with an Inter v Bayern final. Something no-one predicted. Or to be fair, probably wanted. Lets just hope Inter resist stroking faces and play without their entire team in their own penalty area and that Bayern are less shit than they probably will be. They won't be though. Inter will score two early goals and Robben will score a cracking consolation late on. Get that one down at Ladbrokes while the odds are still good.

Also, Fulham and Liverpool are both in action tomorrow. Good luck to the Londoners, as everyone else will be saying. We all want Fulham to win. World Cup aside seeing a teary Hodgson lift the Euro Mug would be the touching football moment of the year. Apart from Neville and Scholes' erotic interlude not long ago. Best not to dwell on that though. Liverpool will probably win as well. Either a 4-0 "not as good as the scoreline suggests" romp or a 2-0 "thanks to Stevie's Exorcist penalty dive" borefest. Either way, doubt anyone gives a shit about them.

Work, Work, Work

Awwww. Still, he's not that cute to me right now as I puzzle in my mind how to shit out a conservation plan for the little bastard. Or something like that, I barely understand what I'm meant to be doing really. Oh well, I'll pull something gleaming from my currently blocked creative sphincter most likely. Well hopefully. While I've toiled in front of various facts and figures of this tiny rodent I've managed to procrastinate to a degree even beyond my usual standards. Three loads of washing, three trips to town and even a quick game of Left Dead 2 (read 2 hour slog through Dead Centre with much cursing and frustration thanks to being pole-axed by a tank on at least 4 occasions). Been some bonuses though, apart from finally buying that cursed aux cable to reconnect my speakers. Watched Bunny and The Bull which is a feature film by Paul King who is most famed for directing The Mighty Boosh. While the Boosh became crushed under it's own popularity and Noel Fielding's penchant for things that are shiny or Class A's this film came out under a cloud of nonchalance and disinterest. Well it did for me anyway. Watching it I can see why it didn't set the world alight, mainly thanks to the great credit it clearly owes Gondry for a lot of the DIY aesthetic of the film. It's a grower though; takes a while for the film to seep into you and for the first 45 minutes it's quite tempting to switch off. But it's worth staying with, at least for the two Boosh cameos which are probably one of the highlights of the film. So basically if you loved the style of Science Of Sleep you'll probably like this. Or won't because it rips it off. Whatever, that's all I've got. Anyway, dormice.

Leak Madness & A Bit Of Gaming Stuff

I decided to wean myself off leaks and illegal downloads in general this year after Mandelson decided to go all 1984 on us with the Digital Piracy Bill or whatever it was called. However, certain temptations can crumble even the strongest of men. The National's newie was the first that got me yesterday and it's an absolute blinder. Apart from opener Terrible Love which after getting extremely excited about that version I was left somewhat underwhelmed by a more stripped back studio version. I should have learnt after falling in love with this early live version of Radiohead's Videotape only to be left with a subtle almost acoustic studio version. Still think if both went big it would have been better. Size matters as they say. Anyway, the rest of the album is beyond brilliant. By far the best thing I've heard this year and that includes the LCD, Flylo and Foals (who also got me yesterday!) leaks. Already forked out for a Flylo pre-order and will probably do the same for the others on promise of a decent pre-order package mind.

Neglected to mention Just Cause 2 yesterday which I've pilfered off my brother while he's away and have been well and truely sucked in. There's plenty of flaws to it, but it's so much fun you forgive them very quickly. It almost begs the question why isn't there a grappling hook in every game? Not those crummy Zelda ones though. I might have to go out and buy it at this rate. Up there with Bioshock 2 as the best thing all year. Also played AvP. Not so great. That's all I have to say on that matter.

Various Titbits #7

With money comes great responsibility. By that profound reasoning being broke leaves you free to do whatever you want. Which makes me feel perfectly fine about spending the last couple of weeks venturing to see friends, family and others all over the country living out of a ruck-sack and sleeping on sofas all the while staring at a bank balance of 72 pence. However, now is the time of crushing realisations of impending deadlines, undone tasks and a return to Cornish parishes. Although a full student loan installment lessens these woes. Already splurged it on Scene It Box Office Smash for the 360 (it was only a fiver with the buzzers!) and a plethora of music I've been lusting after for a while (The National's back catalogue, J Dilla, Jaylib, Johnny Cash, Fionn Regan, Aphex Twin, Dark Was The Night & Monsters Of Folk). One thing I made sure I didn't miss while I was adventuring was the leak of the new LCD Soundsystem album. "Dance Yrself Clean" kicks like a mule and "All I Want" is "All My Friends" after listening to David Bowie's "Heroes" for five days. It sags in the second half a little but the opening four tracks are blisteringly brilliant. Now they've been confirmed for Glastonbury too. I'm so excited I could shit rainbows.

Caught a few films while I was away too. Kick-Ass is thoroughly fantastic and is easily my best film of the year so far. Violent, sweary and a genuine cinema experience. Almost as good as Chris Tookey's review then. The Hurt Locker is as tense and brilliant as everyone says it is, walking the Top Gun line of homoeroticism just on the right side of acceptable. Although it's still more manly than the front cover of Men's Fitness. Synecdoche, New York is better in retrospect than it is at the time. I'd forgotten what it was about until I spotted it in a dimly lit branch of Blockbusters. "Comedy of the year!". "Laugh out loud!". The box certainly lies, it's thoroughly long, good and depressing in equal measure but not funny. Finally, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is a Swedish mega-hit in the world of books and now in the world of European cinema. Haven't read the novel, I can only afford those cheap green Penguin books in the classics section of Waterstones, but the film is a lot more involving than I expected it to be. Certainly got a lot more to it than your usual thriller affair. Worth seeking out. Kick Ass is the best of the lot though.

Prince Of Persia & Football

For handing in my assignment on time I decided to reward myself with a cheap preowned game while waiting for the bus home. Unfortunately the Blockbuster I visited does that annoying thing where they have their preowned stuff outside the shop so you feel like you're rummaging through a stranger's bin more than browsing titles thanks to the looks of disgust from passing pedestrians. Although their disgust may have been that I was listening to Flying Lotus so loud the bass was giving them confusing erotic feelings for the short period in which they passed me. Anyway, I chose Prince Of Persia as it was £4.99 (cheap) and near the front of the pile. I've never played a Prince Of Persia game before because I usually buy games about shooting or football (or Viva Pinata or Pokémon but less about that eh?) but it strikes me as being very similar to Assassin's Creed. Turns out they're both made by Ubisoft Montreal. Go figure. The game starts off frustratingly in that I can't get used to the controls because they're not the same as Assassin's Creed. Things like holding B instead of A confuse the hell out of me it seems. Then there's the fact you die if you try to jump to a slightly lower platform. Not all the time though. Just some of the time. Enough to make you consider trying it when you shouldn't. Then there's the glowing ball things. I know now I'm never going to collect them all unless I get extremely bored. But with my next Swapgame being Aliens Vs Predator that could well happen. Still going to try and finish it because I don't want to add it to Rainbow Six Vegas, Red Alert 3, Viva Pinata: TIP or any of the other games I've never bothered to finish lately.

So last night in the Champion's League Man Utd went to see good ol' Bayern Munich. I don't remember when they stopped being good, when I was a kid they were terrifying team. As was Juventus. I remember that night in Barcelona when Teddy and Olé sneaked a win as well, I was just happy to be allowed to stay up and watch it. Turns out though, they are still pretty good. I know I should want Man Utd to win, but I honestly don't. I'm so fed up of idiot fans talking about how great they are with little or no recognition for the teams they're playing. Football ignorance is a sin in my eyes. I listened to the game on the radio as the idea of socialising or scouring the internet to watch it seemed unappealing. Glad to see Bayern get the result they deserved, kind of happy to see Rooney out as well. Be interesting to see how that affects Saturday's game against Chelsea. Then there was the game tonight. Barcelona destroyed Arsenal in a 2-2 draw. A sentence that makes no sense yet is completely accurate. Next week should be a cracker, might even risk socialising for that game.

Shooter, Surrogates & The Devil's Advocate

I like the idea of Shooter. We should just name films with exactly what they're about. Shooter, Fighting, Snakes On A Plane. You know what you're getting, shit vaguely polished into a story about the title. So with this one you've got Mark Wahlberg in Max Payne mode. He's tough, like some kind of secret sniper tough. But then his partner died, so he quit and grew a questionable beard and lived on a mountain. Then he gets recruited to stop an assassination attempt on the President. The he gets framed for said assassination. If you've ever seen a Steven Segal movie then you know what's going on here. Apart from maybe the great moment where a man falls through a window with a dog on his arm. Still, cool explosions and it's nice to see Danny Glover.

Surrogates is one of those high premise sci-fi movies that no-one goes to see at the cinema and are destined for late night TV reruns for years to come. The most off putting thing about the film is the surrogates of the title which are robot versions of people which you control via a bed/computer system. The acting of these varies from wooden (which would seem appropriate) to realistic (such as Bruce Willis' FBI partner). This is confusing at times but luckily Bruce Willis is bald with stubble to show he's not a robot. Anyway, it's good throwaway rubbish. Not worth going out of your way for but there's certainly worse films to watch (see above).

I remember watching The Devil's Advocate when I was younger, drawn in by the promise of violence, swearing and nudity. I was of course, not prepared for Keanu Reeves' ass which ironically was the most natural thing in his performance. Some scars never heal. It's Grisham meets King in terms of story, one which builds nicely before reaching a climax of such absurdity you become unsure if you're still watching the film you started with. Luckily Al Pacino is mental and makes the film watchable throughout even with the hammy ending and outdated cinematography (only George Lucas still does those screenwipe cuts).

South Park, Twilight & LCD Soundsystem

Butters is one of the best things about South Park in recent years and he's just as good in the new season that I think kicked off a couple of weeks ago but I didn't realise until this morning. It feels like it's been months and months since that last episode about a pee epidemic in a water park (a classic as ever). First episode is excellent with the new EA Tiger Wood's game being a laugh out loud moment. Then there's the slightly extended moment of vomiting in a TV interview section of the second episode. Oh god I've missed this show. There's just nothing anywhere near as funny as South Park these days.

I managed to break my personal vow of not watching a Twilight film last night. Venturing downstairs I found my housemate and another mate settled down in front of it. I joined in somewhat reluctantly. It was the second one which was on although I'm not sure what I missed in terms of story from the first. Firstly everything that happens in the film is in the trailer. I was waiting for the rest of the film to kick in, but it never did. Not that anything really happens. It's just Kristen Stewart moping for most of it, either that or breathing so heavily I thought I was watching soft-core porn. The obvious undertones of abstinence are embarrassing as well, made all the more apparent with scenes of eye-staring and heavy breathing that go on for so long I wouldn't be surprised if they made up 90% of the running time. I just don't get it, for such a blockbuster series how can so little happen? I'll stick to Harry Potter I think for franchise movies. At least they have something going on in them.

A track off LCD Soundsystem's new record has leaked and is now being officially streamed here. It's apparently the new single and is called Drunk Girls. Not sure what to think at the moment apart from that it reminds me so much of Blur's Girls and Boys thanks to the lyrics in the chorus. Seems good fun though in a North American Scum kind of vein. File under catchy. May 17th for the new album as well.

Football & Musical Titbits

It's getting to that time in the season that's so appropriately known as "squeaky bum time" and of course this season it's more widespread than ever. Unless you live on the south coast. After getting their nine point deduction finalised I imagine Portsmouth's bums are done squeaking and now just weeping pooey tears of relegation. Lovely. It looks like the title is going down to the wire this year anyway, although there's still a 66% chance that the FA can reuse the ribbons from the photo as Arsenal and Man Utd are both in the running with Chelsea now. During a moment of educational procrastination I deduced that by my predictions Arsenal would sneak the title by a point from Man Utd and Chelsea would be consoled a further point behind in third. But this is coming from the man who has been baffled by the 24 hour system on his alarm clock more than once in the last month. So pinch of salt and that. Also getting closer to those Champions League quarters which I am thoroughly excited about. Not excited enough to remember if it's next week or the week after but still very excited. Messi is going to (unfortunately) destroy Arsenal and whichever poor soul gets stuck at right back defending against Robben for Man Utd will be more embarrassed than I was when I accidentally did a fart when waiting for a train a couple of weeks ago. I was pretty damn shamed by that as well. Still exciting times. Even Newcastle are a little on edge these days, although 5 points clear at the top it's ours to throw away. Or punch into our team mate's face. Whichever is more self-destructive for us really.

Got caught up in leak madness today. Not the frankly disturbing video but that of Flying Lotus and his new album. Luckily I was too caught up in the moral quagmire of whether to do it or not to realise that it was in fact not the actual record but a fake or apparently something miss tagged and generally mixed up. Better off waiting then. To fill in the gap though another song by The National has arisen, this one a studio version from the new album. It's up on the official site. It's good, not quite got the same instant impact of Terrible Love though. Also got the new album by Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. They seem to have given up on the Radiohead samples and (in places) got into drum and bass. Which I don't mind. Lyrically it can be quite preachy at times but songs like Snob have that much more relatable subject matter of musical snobs. Kicker of a beat too. Also played on Microsoft's Game Room. I say played; loaded it up, decorated my "room", looked at the games on offer, decided it was shit and turned off the 360. Could have been a good idea but at the moment it's an absolute waste of time and money.

Music Titbits & Burnout Paradise

Just managed to recover from a 3 day bender this weekend, not had one of those in a while. One of the main things that got me through a painful Sunday (apart from an enormous amount of Smash and sausages) was Laura Marling's new album. New single Devil's Spoke is a good example of how talented she is. Tender, touching and just wonderful stuff really. Scary to think she's younger than me as well. Not the most reassuring thought when you've got a mouthful of mash potato, a head full of hangover and you're glumly staring at a laptop in your pants. Today I also found a couple more leaked Flying Lotus tracks which again are fantastic. They're not on Youtube yet but the obscenely outstanding Computer Face is. I'm almost counting the days for this one. 3rd May, 3rd May, etc. Also listening to MGMT's new album currently. Remember them claiming to be influenced by all sort of obscure musicians and whatnot. Which makes them sound unbelievably cool obviously. The album leaked so they're streaming it for free on their site, which is nice. "We wanted to offer it as a free download but that didn't make sense to anyone but us" they claim. It's alright really, nowhere near as spectacular as I'm sure many will claim. Brian Eno will undoubtedly appreciate the track dedicated to him as well. You can really feel the ambient influence. Also, fuck me, the new song by The National is incredible. Another cracker for May then.

Had my first foray onto Big Surf Island in Burnout Paradise as well today. 1000 points seems like a lot of money but now I've played it I think it was well spent. The island is much open for want of a better word, with jumps and secret routes all very well integrated in the map. In fact it's better than the main game really for that, I certainly enjoy it a lot more. Apart from the events are quite tricky, or I'm just not used to using the insane beach buggy. Fun as hell though so glad I bought the game at all. Time for a sequel Criterion?

Perfect Dark

After months of shivering, weeping, wailing, flailing and generally debasing myself in anticipation of playing Perfect Dark, today saw it silently creep onto the marketplace. So after a frustrating wander round town trying to find somewhere I could pick up some Microsoft Points I finally got to settle down with it after so many years away. The first thing you notice is that everything feels the same, the music, the graphics, the sound effects. It's pretty much unchanged, which is for the better really in terms of fan service. Those expecting Modern Warfare graphics though are probably best off sticking to the upcoming Stimulus Package (5 maps, 3 new, 2 old for 1200MSP! What value!). It does feel dated in some places, it's worth pointing out. The controls feel imprecise, especially whilst aiming. When you hold down the L trigger it feels like you're dragging a corpse along the screen when scrolling sideways. Voice acting is not the best, but hey, no-one really cared about that then. One amusing point was when a scientist sarcastically claimed he would "help me out" but "accidents may happen" but then didn't press the alarm as I'd done the objective in the wrong order. Oh hilarity. One new addition would be the Xbox Live multiplayer. This again was a miss for me. Almost quite literally. A ten minute match on Felicity turned into a slapping match in the bunker area. Frustrating at best, plain ridiculously shit more accurately. However, it just works. The game is massive and (quite rarely for this gen) has a hell load of multiplayer options for split-screen and online. For 800 points you could do a whole lot worse but if you loved the original anywhere near as much as I did you need to pick this up right now.

As I only could buy 2100 points I had a few pennies left over. I say had to, I chose to. So after an hour of debating whether I buy Peggle again I went for Fifa Ultimate Team and the Big Surf Island add-on for Burnout Paradise. I've only played the former so far as I decided to come downstairs and watch Barcelona destroy Stuttgart. I mean destroy as well, Man Utd and Arsenal are probably worried. Rightly so. Anyway, Ultimate Team is like Manager Mode meets the Pokémon Trading Card Game (which was a guilty pleasure of mine on the Game Boy Colour). Seems to be quite fun so far and a nice little diversion from the main game, so probably quite fairly priced at 400 points then.

Gaming Tuesday (On Sunday)

After going a bit ebay mad last week I got the chance to settle down with the (thankfully) only two games I won. Firstly Rainbow Six Vegas transfers all the tense hostage rescuing from gloomy warehouses to glitzy casinos. Or at least the box promises that then gives you a bewilderingly grey and brown opening level in Mexico or somewhere. It's like a tour de force of grey, going from a town to a train yard, some warehouses, some tunnels, some more warehouses. Although I think grey and brown was still awesome when it came out. I can't remember. Anyway, the checkpoints are also horrible. Hence why the opening level stuck with me (and I was stuck with it) for so long. I'm not a Rainbow Six veteran in my defence, if anything I found the squad combat confusing as my team-mates seemed keen to stand behind a car and shoot into it as opposed to around at the enemy. This meant that I found myself leading the line and dying which then left me half an hour back with so much rage that I felt like kicking puppies or children. But for a game of it's age it still looks pretty and bar said team-mate hiccups everything works pretty well. I shall, as ever, persevere.

Burnout Paradise is another game from a while ago although I actually rented this when I first got my 360 and fell in love with it. I've been waiting for The Ultimate Box to drop low enough in price to pick up and I felt that the £7 I paid for it was pretty reasonable. Although probably not as reasonable as the £3 I paid for Rainbow Six. Anyway, the game is as joyous as I remember even if the other events aren't as enjoyable as the carnage fuelled Road Rage. It's literally a hands in the air moment when one of those comes up at the cross-roads. Played on from where my old save was which was a little jarring going in halfway through the game but I quickly found my feet again. Luckily there's a whole ocean of added on content to wade through as well afterwards although 1000MSP for the new island seems quite pricey when Perfect Dark is out next week for 800MSP. Might have to put it off till the next student loan installment. Ah government funded gaming. Love it.

Beta Late Than Never

So in a veritable smorgasbord of exciting things that have happened to me in the last few days a couple happened within 5 minutes of each other. A tale of two betas really. Unfortunately by the time I'd downloaded and installed the beta for Fifa Online the server had closed for the night so I got involved on the Blur beta on the 360. The best description is Burnout Kart really, it robs violently from both games. Although the developer has pedigree in the genre (Metropolis Street Racer, Project Gotham Racing) a lot of the things from those games seem to have gone out the window. Everything is at breakneck speed in a 70's neo glow in this one. It's good fun with depth in a variety of cars and maps that you can tweak with although I've not ploughed the time in yet to see them. Split/Second still looks more exciting though to be honest and I have Burnout Paradise winging it's way to me so I'll see if I have the inclination to go back.

Fifa Online for me is a mixed bag. My laptop lurches forward loading it with teary pixels streaming down it's graphically gurning face. It works quite well setting your team up and choosing myself as a grey fox of the managerial world but as soon as I tried a friendly against Spurs it jittered around like a man having a fit on a Segway. After toning down the graphics to the lowest possible setting it was slightly less jittery although still was very jumpy in mid-field. I found it hard to adjust to as the gameplay had more in common with the Wii PES iterations (which I have also not played). Looks to be fun though but unless I somehow acquire a new computer I doubt I'll be getting the full joy of it.

Finally I got my first few listens of the new Gorillaz album Plastic Beach on Spotify. Really enjoyed it, hard to name a group that sounds so eclectic throughout a record. Sweepstakes is one of the best songs I've heard all year and is a pretty good example of the collision of genres you get with a Gorillaz album. Hoping my Russian site of choice will have it up soon as I really will kill someone if I have to hear that pissing Burger King advert again. Sorry "king" Burger King advert. Cunts.

In The Loop, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & FA Cup

It's the Oscars tonight which will undoubtedly be offering a vigorous industry reach-around for Bigelow's ode to testosterone or Cameron's poetic synopsis on how "WE SHOULD LOVE THE EARTH AND STUFF YEAH?". The BBC being the fantastic channel it is offered up it's nominated sweary classic In The Loop. I almost spat out my mash potato when Malcolm Tucker uttered "What is this? The shitting forecast?" in the first scene. The insults only got ruder and cruder throughout. It is essentially The Thick Of It with some added Americans but I don't think anyone's complaining. Great movie, but the only thing that could win a Brit an Oscar is a plasticine man discussing cheese with his pet dog.

After panicking about whether Swapgame would send me a game on time I woke up in a hungover daze on Saturday to find Battlefield: Bad Company 2 sitting under my letterbox. I also found some bills. But that was a whole lot less rewarding or exciting. There is one tempting comparison to make about the game. But I'll resist. So started with the single player campaign which in a nutshell is you and a small band of troops are on a mission to single handedly save the world. You do this via shooting people in the face with guns, tanks, helicopters or even by crushing a building on to them. Obviously onto the face. It all works great and everything but. It's just like Call Of Duty. I don't know which came first or whatever but, it's very similar. I tried to give the multi-player a go but I couldn't connect or I got kicked before it began. Maybe they knew I was a newbie. Still a bit of single player to go (only one twist so far) and no multiplayer but so far so good.

In between all the face shooting there's been another plethora of football on ITV. Which is obviously a mixed bag because it's great to see it on terrestrial but when did Gareth Southgate become their key pundit. At least they've not let Andy Townsend have his fucking computer, that was worse than Andy Gray and his insistence on showing us that wingers will go down the wing for EVERY FUCKING TEAM. Cheers Andy, it's bad enough hearing you take the piss out of Newcastle every time I play Fifa 10 anyway. Anyway very briefly, Portsmouth did well, Fulham v Spurs was dull as hell, Villa had one hell of a comeback after being shown up by Reading and Chelsea did just about enough in another pretty dull game. Here's to Arsenal's uphill task on Tuesday then.

The Typing Of The Dead, Modern Warfare 2, England v Egypt

I fulfilled my teenage dream tonight of owning The Typing Of The Dead. As soon as I heard about this game I knew I wanted, no, needed it. The premise is simple, it's House Of The Dead 2. Only our favourite agents are now equipped with keyboards and over sized back-pack Dreamcasts. You then type increasingly bizarre phrases at the oncoming horde. I don't want to spoil the sentences, but they are fantastic. "Suffer like G did" will seem like the pinnacle of dialogue after you've been forced to type some of the rather more obscure ends of the game's dictionary. The most surprising thing though is that the game is amazingly fun. If it wasn't so late when I started playing I would have been hooting and howling over this gem. Find it, hunt it down and whip out your keyboard because this game is surely a forgotten classic. I guarantee you'll smile merely at the opening "The Typing....Of The Dead" voice over.

In face shooting related topics I've continued on my Veteran difficulty play-through of Modern Warfare 2. Just finished the Gulag level and I must say that it's not been too bad this time. Bar some frustration on the Favela level and a lot of frustration the smoke bit of the oil rig level it's been smooth sailing. Shall pick up again tomorrow from the first level in destroyed Washington (the name escapes me). Could do with the G boost really as well as I'm in a race for the month of March. That and the one with my friend is still happening (I'm just over 30,00. He's just over 7,000). The lack of any news from Swapgame is also worrying, that was going to be my ace in the hole. When it's been a week then I'll start to panic.

Finally another England game another satisfying win. A poor first half performance led to a solid second half display. Personally I think maybe dropping Lampard from the first team might be the way forward, Carrick's passing is top notch and can really bring something to the game in mid-field when you've got the likes of Rooney and Gerrard in front of him. Crouch also scored again, I don't think anyone knows how he does it, he just does. He's got a scoring record better than John Terry away from home. Ah, better late than never with that one.

Musical Titbits

Looks like it's going to be another frustratingly long wait for my next Swapgame, yet to receive an e-mail saying they've got Bioshock 2 back let alone processed my next order. Luckily this lull in games has led to a glut of new music of late. Well kind of. Foals have announced new single and album information which I have greeted with mild excitement for a change, really enjoyed Antidotes. I have semi fond memories of cycling to work at 5am listening to that album on route. New track Spanish Sahara starts off almost Anthony & The Johnsons esque before building into an epic thing of beauty. Or it's just pretty good, that sounds a lot less wanky.

As I mentioned before Frightened Rabbit's new album is great, although I imagine that you might end up hearing it for the rest of the year. The album couldn't scream "mainstream breakthrough" anymore unless you put Tinchy Stryder somewhere on it. Probably the best album of the year so far for me. Hot Chip's latest a close second. Somehow they've made an album with an 80's power ballad on it and it still sounds fantastic. Got the self titled album by The Soft Pack as well which is garage rock by numbers really. The peak of mediocrity. Now it's just the painfully long wait for the new Flying Lotus record. After dropping this May seems a decade away.

I also was one of the lucky ones to get my Glastonbury ticket paid for so now with the headliners of U2, Muse & Stevie Wonder I couldn't be more disappointed that I didn't go last year. Here's hoping they get any of the bands mentioned of above to appear as well else it'll be my tears of disappointment soaking the ground of Pilton as well as the rain.

Bioshock 2, Red Alert 3, Frightened Rabbit & A Bit Of Footie

One of the great minds of acting that appear in Red Alert 3 on the left there. The thing I find most amazing was that when I read on the back of the box "over 60 minutes of high def video sequences" I was disappointed. Only an hour? Genuinely want more. The game fits surprisingly well to a console with all your actions mapped to a wheel and there's shortcuts there to help build your power plants when you're scouting out with your team of attack bears. Yeah bears. There's dolphins as well. God knows what else, pretty sure there was a giant robot in one of the FMV's as well. Yet to persevere that far though. I can safely say though that this game was worth the £4 for Tim Curry's Russian accent alone. The bears are a mere bonus.

Polished off Bioshock 2 this week. Feel a bit let down by it, I played through on normal and never really struggled. The only time I died was when I forgot to use first aid. Still thoroughly enjoyed the playthrough. Highlights being the mad ambushes of splicers when collecting ADAM and wandering round the majority of the last stage with my sentry bot chums "Patches" and "Melissa". A solid sequel really. Gave the multiplayer a fair amount of time as well which was a let down. Ignoring the game crashes in the lobby which plagued me throughout it just was pointless. The servers will be empty in a few weeks I'm sure, they were hardly bustling when I was there anyway.

Two final things, got hold of the new Frightened Rabbit album which is fantastic. They sound bigger and brighter which hopefully will see them getting some decent mainstream attention. Current single Nothing Like You has hit written all over it. Also caught the League Cup final today which was both exhilarating and predictable. Vidic should have gone for the last man foul on Agbonlahor right at the start. Apart from that Man United deserved their win, Valencia and Rooney were exemplary and even Berbatov put a bit of effort in. Still wanted Villa to win mind. Oh well, maybe Arsenal have got a chance at the Premiership now. That's my last hope of Man United or Chelsea being embarrassed.

Being Human, Baftas & Bioshock 2

It's slowly become my guilty pleasure Being Human. In many ways it feels like a televisual equivalent of Modern Warfare 2. Trying to be gruesome, philosophical and humorous all in a show that is essentially like a slacker version of The Munsters. But it is endearing though and at times pretty good. This week's show was the best so far for me, a fantastic scene in which George (our werewolfy friend in the middle there) began transforming at a school parent's evening. Every imaginative parent's nightmare I'm sure. The BBC are good at making implausible rides of entertainment these days. Doctor Who has brought them a whole new appreciation for the fantasy genre as well. I'm sure next week's (what can be presumed to be final?) episode will also be a cracker. Roll on season 3 then as well?

Last night was also the Baftas, which smugly decided to snub Avatar. Well, deservedly so. Haven't seen this year's gold sweeper The Hurt Locker yet though. Hopefully it will fill me with joy and slightly confused feelings about my sexuality like Bigelow's seminal homoerotic masterpiece Point Break. Nice to see some Brits win the big actor awards as well, always feels like the Olympics where we're usually an outside bet to get in amongst the shiny. In awards given out by us. Brilliant. Also glad Moon won something, even if it wasn't Best British Picture. Reminds me, still need to watch Fish Tank too actually. And An Education. And A Single Man. Pretty much every film that won then.

Finally Bioshock 2 has tested my patience for it today. An unwarranted crash half an hour after my last save left me seething so much I almost dug out a Rage Against The Machine record. Almost, still clean. The crashing has been plaguing me in the multiplayer you see. Every fourth to fifth game will crash at the lobby leaving me staring at a non moving counter stuck on 57 seconds for a good while before I realise I've been got again. Come on 2K, this isn't on. What's worse is that you've announced 400MSP DLC for a game that is pretty much broken. I don't think I've even heard anyone asking for new DLC yet anyway. I think we'd all prefer a patch instead eh? As for the multiplayer when it works it's perfectly enjoyable. Personally I much prefer the brighter, tighter mania of Modern Warfare 2. Probably should have just left it at the already exemplary single player game then.