Red Dead Redemption

It's funny how you can instantly fall in love with a game for the the poorest reasons. Like being able to name your rival "Tosser" in the Pokemon games and then laugh hysterically every time you run in to him on the SS Anne. Or that in the latest FIFA game you scan a photo of your face in with a ridiculous glitter Hitler moustache and watch yourself do cartwheels with a silvery upper lip every time you score. As they say, it's the little things. In Red Dead Redemption you can shoot animals, skin them, and then sell said skin for a small profit. On paper it's dull. In practice it's probably also quite dull. However I've spent 3 of my first four hours playtime doing it. Painfully addictive. I haven't even found a bear yet. I'll never do anything else if I find one. For me it proves the level of immersion this game offers. GTA IV suffered from a slightly stilted and familiar setting. We've been stealing yellow cabs for ten years now in various guises. RDR opens up the world of the Western to a new generation and feels very fresh in comparison. The greatest test will of course be whether I can now buy and wear a pair of cowboy boots without being socially outcast. The proof will be in the freshly skinned carcass no doubt.

Perfect Dark

After months of shivering, weeping, wailing, flailing and generally debasing myself in anticipation of playing Perfect Dark, today saw it silently creep onto the marketplace. So after a frustrating wander round town trying to find somewhere I could pick up some Microsoft Points I finally got to settle down with it after so many years away. The first thing you notice is that everything feels the same, the music, the graphics, the sound effects. It's pretty much unchanged, which is for the better really in terms of fan service. Those expecting Modern Warfare graphics though are probably best off sticking to the upcoming Stimulus Package (5 maps, 3 new, 2 old for 1200MSP! What value!). It does feel dated in some places, it's worth pointing out. The controls feel imprecise, especially whilst aiming. When you hold down the L trigger it feels like you're dragging a corpse along the screen when scrolling sideways. Voice acting is not the best, but hey, no-one really cared about that then. One amusing point was when a scientist sarcastically claimed he would "help me out" but "accidents may happen" but then didn't press the alarm as I'd done the objective in the wrong order. Oh hilarity. One new addition would be the Xbox Live multiplayer. This again was a miss for me. Almost quite literally. A ten minute match on Felicity turned into a slapping match in the bunker area. Frustrating at best, plain ridiculously shit more accurately. However, it just works. The game is massive and (quite rarely for this gen) has a hell load of multiplayer options for split-screen and online. For 800 points you could do a whole lot worse but if you loved the original anywhere near as much as I did you need to pick this up right now.

As I only could buy 2100 points I had a few pennies left over. I say had to, I chose to. So after an hour of debating whether I buy Peggle again I went for Fifa Ultimate Team and the Big Surf Island add-on for Burnout Paradise. I've only played the former so far as I decided to come downstairs and watch Barcelona destroy Stuttgart. I mean destroy as well, Man Utd and Arsenal are probably worried. Rightly so. Anyway, Ultimate Team is like Manager Mode meets the Pokémon Trading Card Game (which was a guilty pleasure of mine on the Game Boy Colour). Seems to be quite fun so far and a nice little diversion from the main game, so probably quite fairly priced at 400 points then.

In The Loop, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & FA Cup

It's the Oscars tonight which will undoubtedly be offering a vigorous industry reach-around for Bigelow's ode to testosterone or Cameron's poetic synopsis on how "WE SHOULD LOVE THE EARTH AND STUFF YEAH?". The BBC being the fantastic channel it is offered up it's nominated sweary classic In The Loop. I almost spat out my mash potato when Malcolm Tucker uttered "What is this? The shitting forecast?" in the first scene. The insults only got ruder and cruder throughout. It is essentially The Thick Of It with some added Americans but I don't think anyone's complaining. Great movie, but the only thing that could win a Brit an Oscar is a plasticine man discussing cheese with his pet dog.

After panicking about whether Swapgame would send me a game on time I woke up in a hungover daze on Saturday to find Battlefield: Bad Company 2 sitting under my letterbox. I also found some bills. But that was a whole lot less rewarding or exciting. There is one tempting comparison to make about the game. But I'll resist. So started with the single player campaign which in a nutshell is you and a small band of troops are on a mission to single handedly save the world. You do this via shooting people in the face with guns, tanks, helicopters or even by crushing a building on to them. Obviously onto the face. It all works great and everything but. It's just like Call Of Duty. I don't know which came first or whatever but, it's very similar. I tried to give the multi-player a go but I couldn't connect or I got kicked before it began. Maybe they knew I was a newbie. Still a bit of single player to go (only one twist so far) and no multiplayer but so far so good.

In between all the face shooting there's been another plethora of football on ITV. Which is obviously a mixed bag because it's great to see it on terrestrial but when did Gareth Southgate become their key pundit. At least they've not let Andy Townsend have his fucking computer, that was worse than Andy Gray and his insistence on showing us that wingers will go down the wing for EVERY FUCKING TEAM. Cheers Andy, it's bad enough hearing you take the piss out of Newcastle every time I play Fifa 10 anyway. Anyway very briefly, Portsmouth did well, Fulham v Spurs was dull as hell, Villa had one hell of a comeback after being shown up by Reading and Chelsea did just about enough in another pretty dull game. Here's to Arsenal's uphill task on Tuesday then.

2009 - Anticlimatic & Somewhat Predictable Lists

That title can only mean one thing! Not quite as snappy as it could have been but hey, I don't get paid to write this. In fact I only do it to amuse myself and that title fulfilled that role for me. So I'm just going to bash them out like a thirteen year old home alone with the internet. Charming.

Top 10 Films

1. Where The Wild Things Are
2. (500) Days Of Summer
3. Up
4. Watchmen
5. Star Trek
6. Adventureland
7. Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
8. Fantastic Mr Fox
9. Avatar
10. Drag Me To Hell

Top 10 Games

1. Fifa 10
2. Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
3. Batman: Arkham Asylum
4. Left 4 Dead 2
5. Halo 3: ODST
6. Borderlands
7. Resident Evil 5
8. Red Faction: Guerrilla
9. Prototype
10. Halo Wars

Top 10 Artists/Albums/Songs (Via Last FM)

1. Radiohead (643)
2. Biffy Clyro (396)
3. Frightened Rabbit (336)
4. The Maccabees (331)
5. LCD Soundsystem (316)
6. Future Of The Left (315)
7. Dananananaykroyd (206)
8. Blur (169)
9. Bloc Party (151)
10. Tubelord (150)

1. The Maccabees - Wall Of Arms (256)
2. Frightened Rabbit - The Midnight Organ Fight (241)
3. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver (230)
4. Dananananaykroyd - Hey Everyone (188)
5. Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions (164)
6. Future Of The Left - Travels With Myself And Another (161)
7. Radiohead - Amnesiac B-Sides (133) *
8. Karen O + The Kids - Where The Wild Things Are Original Soundtrack (131)
9. The Dodos - Visiter (115)
9. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (115)

1. LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends (77)
2. Frightened Rabbit - The Modern Leper (53)
3. LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great (52)
4. Frightened Rabbit - My Backwards Walk (51)
5. The Maccabees - Young Lions (47)
6. Biffy Clyro - That Golden Rule (42)
7. Frightened Rabbit - Keep Yourself Warm (40)
8. Blur - The Universal (37)
8. LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum (37)
10. Radiohead - Worrywort (36) **

So there you have it. Amazing how little of my music is from this year, but that's the truth it seems. Good job there isn't a similar program for the 360. That one would be all out of whack too then. Bloody Blue Dragon would be in there too. Anyway, roll on 2010 and that.

*I made a compendium album of the b-sides and labelled it thus. Can't believe it made it to be honest.
** It was a three way tie but I went for the one that wasn't by Frightened Rabbit

Mass Effect, Banjo Kazooie, Beneath A Steel Sky & Heroes Of Might And Magic III

That's probably the nerdiest blog title I'll ever have. It was like a sliding scale really. Part of me was tempted to mention the football happenings of the last couple of nights but there's not an awful lot to say. Liverpool played terribly and so did Man United. Well, from what I saw of both anyway. I had them both on while I was playing the previously mentioned games. So, Mass Effect. That was a good game wasn't it? Yeah it was and still is. I decided to hop back in and whore a few achievements I'd missed. I know, its low isn't it. I feel dirty just thinking it. Knowing the shame I've committed. But hell, I got an easy 100G or so and remembered why I loved the game in the first place. For all its flaws, its a lot of fun. I'm now super-ready for number two. I'm not paraphrasing a constipated child there, merely trying to reveal my excitement. How many more games are going to creep on to that must buy list for next year?

I'm going to stay with a friend this weekend and I figured that if gaming happens then Fifa and Modern Warfare 2 are going to be on the cards. So I should play some stuff I won't play while I'm away. Phrasing it like that makes it sound like I have an addiction. I don't. I think. My 360 has been played every day for the last 5 days now though. Hmmm. Anyway, Banjo Kazooie is a fair bit of fun. Starting to get into making my own vehicles now. I'm still not very far though, got about 15 jiggies or so. It can be frustrating, destroying some balls attacking a crocodile's eyes was a real teeth clencher for me. Looking back on that sentence though, it sounds riveting doesn't it? Still, glad I picked this game up on the cheap. My new Swapgame will be here next week, so I can put it back on the chill pile till the next drought.

I also found out today that Beneath A Steel Sky was going for free on GOG.com. So me being the tight-fisted mofo I am, rushed there to pick it up. First thing that struck me is the interface on their website, its fantastic and you can download a game however many times you want. Awesome! The game itself is a point and click classic from before my time. I mean I was alive. But I was six when it was released. A game based around post apocalypse Australia was a little beyond my reach. First game I loved was The Lion King on the Mega Drive. Used to hate that level with the monkeys in the trees, was always shit at it. Oh, and the Mickey Mouse one too! The ghost level used to get me on that game. Anyway the game is a complete throwback, it feels dated in most ways. But it was free and came with a walkthrough so even if I don't play it, it at least deserves to be cheated through so I can see what I missed out on all those years ago. Which finally brings me to Heroes Of Might And Magic III! Which has just finished downloading! I'll be brief: I want a game to play on the train and I absolutely loved this when I was younger. Finally convinced myself its worth the $9.99 I paid for it and I'm going straight for "Vikings We Shall Come" (I think it was called). Its exciting fucking times.

Gaming Tuesday

Seems quite strange really that Modern Warfare 2 has been out for only a couple of weeks because its already slipped from my disc tray. I just haven't found the will to throw myself into the multiplayer yet. Instead I've thrown myself back into my Fifa 10 management career. This has probably happened after my inevitable downfall in the new Football Manager. But anyway, its been a successful return to the helm of St James Park. Just finished my second season third in the Premiership with both the FA Cup and the League Cup under my belt. Not bad considering I haven't bought any new players, only signed a few scouted ones. Just won the Charity Shield in my third season and about to kick it off proper, but I'm going to take it easy. Trying to make my "EA Game Face" for my Be A Pro player now. Hahaha. Oh dear me. Just finished it. Its terrifying. I look completely evil, even complete with the "Glitler" moustache from the photo I used. Knew I shouldn't have used that photo from Reading. Anyway, going to dive into it proper now. Lets hope its more fun than it was last season.

Gaming Tuesday

So, it goes without saying really that the majority of my time has been sunk into Blue Dragon. Since my last update I've done a quest in a "Forest Of Exile" and gone through a laser abused landscape that looked not too dissimilar from those cheese levels from the old Worms games. I realise now why people referred to JRPG as grinding slog-fest affairs. I've not even had to go through grinding up my levels to fight a boss yet. But it still feels like I've been grinding through. There's a lot of pointless cut-scenes as well, which I normally would enjoy. But when you're hunting down an elusive save point so you can go to bed or even just stop playing for a while you end up getting bogged down with a pointless array of 30 second cut-scenes with the little yellow thing screeching "LOOK A *story related item*!!! LOOOOOK THERE IT IS!!!". I'm almost paraphrasing the subtitles with that as well. Even after my criticisms though I am going to finish it. Or at least get to disc three. But then I may as well finish it? Oh dear.

Apart from careering through that monstrosity I've continued to dabble on my Newcastle managerial career on Fifa 10. Achieved promotion and in my second season in charge I'm sitting quite happily around 6th in the table. Bizarrely after my conquest of the FA Cup I'm also in Europe. What area is not specified, probably UEFA Cup though. Celtic are in it. Hopefully I can drag myself away from Blue Dragon to continue this although I've heard upon the rumour mill of glitches and bugs in the achievements for the mode. Not that I'm a big stickler for achievements (anymore) but if the patch that's coming out very soon is going to fix the niggles then is it worth waiting? Probably, saying that I've still got around 90% of the season to go anyway so by the time I get there it may well be fixed.

Finally there was even a little bit of time for ODST. Been a few weeks since I played but I had a friend how suggested Firefight and it seemed ridiculous to say no. Its great fun still, I really need to put some more time into it because it is more fun than Horde I'd say and on a similar level to World At War's zombie mode. It is intrinsically different though as well, no sacrifice to that Halo flavour we're all so accustomed to. At least I can rely on the fact that a lot of people will hold on to their copy just for a bit of that Reach beta. Still plenty of games to come.

Nathan Barley (yeah?) & Blue Dragon

I remember watching Nathan Barley when it was first on telly in 2005. I didn't really get it to be honest, I was 15. I was loving Coldplay's X&Y album. I really wasn't ready for it. I watched it all again the other day on 4OD. I really need to remember about 4OD more often, literally years of television available to stream for free. Its brilliant to say the least. As is Nathan Barley. Its got Brooker written all over it as well with the fashionista cunts being made to look and sound like the dicks they are. What struck a chord with me most was the constant searching for a new word to describe anything. "That's so Jackson" being one that perhaps would be less "ironic" now than it was then. Witty, funny and also worrying how little has changed in 4 years. Young people are still wankers and not even just in London now. They're fucking everywhere. I'm probably one. I have shit hair and a penchant for drinking and swearing. Still worth watching, its free after all. Yeah?

Going from one end of the spectrum to the other. Blue Dragon is a nerdy as hell JRPG about saving the world from a robot shark controlled by an old purple guy. Or something. So I figured that if I can't find anything useful to do with all the time on my hands I may as well find a good time sponge. A Bounty for my wasted life. JRPGs are good for this, people can sit in their pants and play them for 200+ hours. I'm good at sitting in my pants and I have the time. I think I'm qualified. I'm about 1 hour into the game. Well probably more like half an hour. But I pissed about fighting a load of robots. Then I went to town to meet someone and couldn't find a save point first so left it on. So my game timer is actually about 3 and a half hours. Its alright so far. The characters are lame and annoying but the graphics are pleasingly bright and cartoony. A refreshing change from brown and grey shooters and the constant green and weird faces of Fifa. I'll see how long I can put up with it. Considering there's a mail strike now as well I'm going to be stuck with it for a while waiting for the next treat from Swapgame. It'll probably be something I regret having on the list anyway. I'll die before they send me Batman.

Gaming Tuesday & Noah And The Whale

My life is slowly being consumed by Fifa 10 in gaming terms. In fact maybe not just in gaming terms. Its only a matter of time before I close my eyes and Andy Gray starts waxing lyrical about how Newcastle have had a tumultuous few years. I'd go as far as saying its my game of the year so far. So far being the case in point obviously, there's a great many games still to be released and Swapgame may actually send me Arkham Asylum soon you never know. In the mean time however I'll have to enjoy Guitar Hero 2 which is what I've received this month. Its not great. Admittedly I've only played through on Easy so far, I'll have a fairer idea when I tackle it on the harder difficulties. But having no licensed songs. Well two that I've played so far, one by Primus and one by My Chemical Romance. Wonderful, right up my street. In fact the track-listing is worse than that of Guitar Hero 3 let alone the more recent releases. It'll be returned in a week I'm sure. I gave the Brutal Legend demo a whirl today as well. For someone who chose to watch Conor Oberst over Tenacious D at a festival once a game with Jack Black probably wasn't for me. But I enjoyed it somewhat, that hack 'n slash genre being an under appreciated one for me. The humour was also a nice surprise, not laugh out loud but definitely endearing. Its on the Swapgame list. I'll probably get it before Batman.

One final point, I mentioned Noah and The Whale fleeting the other day as the lesser to new band Mumford & Sons. I managed to catch Noah & co in Falmouth after a friend got me in. I enjoyed it a lot to be honest. The new material sounds good live, very sweepingly epic in places. Its a shame the mostly freshers comprised crowd only wanted to hear the one hit of "Five Years Time" which they performed begrudgingly in an encore. It may sound rather harsh, but I hope this band lose some of their fame and end up in small rooms of pubs again, because with a good crowd and the same songs it could have been an amazing experience. One to look out for if they come near you, but remember to give the rest of their stuff a chance at least. They do deserve it.

Gaming Tuesday

The first real gaming moment of my week was getting one of the 10G achievements in ODST in Firefight. What I didn't realise however is that I spent around 4 hours doing it. 4 hours! I could have watched 2 films in that time! I could have done something that wasn't so relentlessly repetitive. Still I did it, I was proud. Had to melee two hammer guys and then a rocket launcher guy in the back. It was touch and go at times. That was the last time I played ODST as well, probably for a while as well based on that experience.

I picked up Fifa 10 as well, I don't mind paying for Fifa really. It's one of the few games you know you're going to get your money's worth on. I've been playing 09 right up until when I bought this one so they've got to be doing something right. Firstly I threw myself into manager mode as Newcastle. Playing on Professional difficulty used to be too much of a challenge for me in 09 but now I found it quite rewarding to play. Although not winning every game, getting a hard earned 1-0 win against Liverpool in the FA Cup was very satisfying, all though mystifyingly losing 4-0 at home to Bristol City was not. I decided to give online a whirl as it seemed the logical thing to do really. Squeezed in four games last night, I played as Tottenham (not sure why) in all of them. First game I led 2-0 up until the 90th minute when the other player quit out. I wasn't impressed. Second game I got beaten by Arsenal very convincingly 3-0 I think. Third game, also against Arsenal, I swiped a convincing 3-1 win. I was very happy with it to say the least. The final game I got outplayed by a resolute West Ham and lost 2-0. So, apart from the sour start I found the games very rewarding and also with absolutely no lag as well. I'll need more time with it to decide if it is the best football game I've played, but I've already ploughed more time into it than I did with ODST or Riddick (sorry, gave up and sent it back). Which means they're on to a winner for me really.

Glastonbury!

Good day today, its not that Frankie Boyle has left Mock The Week. No, that's a reason why its not a perfect day really. I managed to get a ticket for next year's Glastonbury. The 40th Anniversary year as well! I am very excited to say the least. It'll have been 5 years since my first (and only) visit to Worthy Farm next year and to say the least a lot has changed. I'm not 16 anymore for a start. I can't really claim my taste in music has changed much, I remember seeing Bloc Party on the Other Stage while I was there and now five years later I'll be seeing them for the 6th or 7th time here in Cornwall at the end of the month. To make it as good as my first weekend under canvas there's a few things I'd like in no particular order.

1) No rain! It was a disaster in 05.
2) Alright traffic please!
3) LCD Soundsystem to headline the John Peel Stage maybe?
4) Radiohead on Saturday?
5) A Sunday line-up as good as the one this year.

Even 3 of those 5 would make it the best festival ever, but fingers crossed for all 5 eh? Also, picked up Fifa 10 on Friday, already deep inside getting Newcastle back in the Premiership. I'll try and have a proper mess around with it before Tuesday.