Quick Rant

Quick rant. The dust is starting to settle on the recent events up in Tyneside and yet it still makes little to no sense. Chris Hughton gets sacked after a run of 5 games without a win. On paper it seems logical. Given it's Newcastle as well it seems very logical, well for them. But yet this is the first sacking at the club for a long time that has left me bemused, upset and downright angry with the the blatant short-sightedness of the club and it's owner.

This time two years ago Newcastle were an absolute state. In fact this time 18 months ago we were a complete mess. To take us from the relegation joke team to being back in the Premiership and shipping 5 one week and scoring 5 the next is an achievement. We're not the Newcastle of yesteryear, but we're certainly playing with the same excitement and inconsistency of it. This is the reason you love the team as a fan. Seeing us get hammered by West Brom is depressing and as upsetting as it gets, but not two months ago we smashes Sunderland so hard I almost got in a fight watching it for just wearing a Newcastle shirt. As a fan, this year has been brilliant, I couldn't have asked for more.

But yet no we're faced with Pardew, a man so bland you forget his face every moment you're not looking at it. He's also signed a 5 and a half year deal which really shows how much of a joke this whole situation is. I will be amazed if he makes it to the end of the season. Which is what brings me to the overall focus of my ire. Ashley has managed this club worse than the Americans do their secrets. Just one mess after another. Like an elderly dog with the shits we continually stumble through the footballing calender emptying our bowels in a fit of embarrassment at the slightest opportunity. There is literally no logic behind this move given he's trying to sell the club. Not even the most naive of Saudi business men would purchase a club with that dead weight strapped to the front for 5 and a half years.

We'll see how we do on Saturday against the previous "biggest joke in the Premiership team" Liverpool. He'll need a lot more than a result there to prove his worth though.

In The Loop, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & FA Cup

It's the Oscars tonight which will undoubtedly be offering a vigorous industry reach-around for Bigelow's ode to testosterone or Cameron's poetic synopsis on how "WE SHOULD LOVE THE EARTH AND STUFF YEAH?". The BBC being the fantastic channel it is offered up it's nominated sweary classic In The Loop. I almost spat out my mash potato when Malcolm Tucker uttered "What is this? The shitting forecast?" in the first scene. The insults only got ruder and cruder throughout. It is essentially The Thick Of It with some added Americans but I don't think anyone's complaining. Great movie, but the only thing that could win a Brit an Oscar is a plasticine man discussing cheese with his pet dog.

After panicking about whether Swapgame would send me a game on time I woke up in a hungover daze on Saturday to find Battlefield: Bad Company 2 sitting under my letterbox. I also found some bills. But that was a whole lot less rewarding or exciting. There is one tempting comparison to make about the game. But I'll resist. So started with the single player campaign which in a nutshell is you and a small band of troops are on a mission to single handedly save the world. You do this via shooting people in the face with guns, tanks, helicopters or even by crushing a building on to them. Obviously onto the face. It all works great and everything but. It's just like Call Of Duty. I don't know which came first or whatever but, it's very similar. I tried to give the multi-player a go but I couldn't connect or I got kicked before it began. Maybe they knew I was a newbie. Still a bit of single player to go (only one twist so far) and no multiplayer but so far so good.

In between all the face shooting there's been another plethora of football on ITV. Which is obviously a mixed bag because it's great to see it on terrestrial but when did Gareth Southgate become their key pundit. At least they've not let Andy Townsend have his fucking computer, that was worse than Andy Gray and his insistence on showing us that wingers will go down the wing for EVERY FUCKING TEAM. Cheers Andy, it's bad enough hearing you take the piss out of Newcastle every time I play Fifa 10 anyway. Anyway very briefly, Portsmouth did well, Fulham v Spurs was dull as hell, Villa had one hell of a comeback after being shown up by Reading and Chelsea did just about enough in another pretty dull game. Here's to Arsenal's uphill task on Tuesday then.

Champion's League & System Shock 2

It's a funny old game football sometimes, the last two evenings have a gone a long way to prove this. Firstly the fact that UEFA have deemed it necessary to stretch the Champions League out for the next 6 years playing half a match every fortnight or something. Even as a big football fan, it's nice to have a week where I know the football isn't on for a change. The action kicked off on Tuesday afternoon when Everton were forced to play their first-leg Europa League tie at half five in the afternoon. Apparently, Europa League matches aren't allowed to clash with Champions League games for television reasons or something. Madness, through and through. Would have been a great game for them if Distin didn't ruin it all with a red card and penalty in the dying moments to leave Everton heading over to Portugal with a slender one goal advantage. AC Milan showed their age later that evening by forgetting to score the millions of chances Ronaldinho kindly laid on for them. Scholes' impossible to re-create miss hit wonder and the gleaming forehead of Wayne Rooney put Man United in a 3-2 aggregate lead going back to Old Trafford. You'd think that many away goals would be enough. Finally, Fabianski learnt another footballing lesson tonight in that you should not face away from an incoming cross and always kick when passed back to. Arsenal were lifeless and lacklustre and more than deserved their beating. The slender one goal lead for Porto though doesn't rule out a Gunner's return at the Emirates. Also, very briefly, Newcastle 4-1 Coventry. Three points clear. Good to see us scoring again.

As opposed to watching a scary movie or reading Glen Beck's wikipedia I decided to find my unadulterated terror in classic Bioshock fore bearer System Shock 2. For an 11 year old game it doesn't look too bad, it's just beyond that head-ache inducing pixel nightmare you get when you try and play an N64 game. Meddled around for a little while, mainly trying to fix a bug in which your inventory becomes redundant as your character would rather blindly swing his wrench around instead of healing. It's creepy at times, although the voice acting is poor, the random rave music wasn't fun and the character models are terrifying in a mostly non deliberate way. It still shits all over any other game from '99 though (Half-Life before, Deus Ex after; that's all I can think of off the top of my head).

Football, Football, Football.... And Sherlock Holmes.

Blimey, bit of a mental week for football. So much so that I've done not a lot else but watch it. Well, that and drinking. But that's not as exciting to write about is it? The most surprising thing is that the League Cup has suddenly become interesting. Up until now I'm pretty sure that even the teams taking part didn't really care. I certainly didn't, can't even remember when Newcastle got knocked out. Sure it was embarrassing though, they have a habit of doing that (á la 4-2 against West Brom yesterday...).

Anyhow everyone seemed to be excited about the first match on Tuesday. Apart from Man Utd seemingly, who kicked off with all the gusto of a fat guy climbing some stairs. That was in comparison to Man City though who buzzed around in a frenzied madness which meant that United literally had the metaphorical arm out holding City at a far enough distance where their wild jabs of energy were wasteful. But eventually City found their stride and genuinely looked the better team, United playing in a now familiar sedentary pace were outplayed. Tevez took full advantage and with his two goals raided the bank for obvious celebrations referencing his rather acrimonious fallout with the staff of his former club. United (Rooney) fought back in the final moments but Given is more than used to single-handedly winning points for his team. He was at Newcastle for Christ's sake! Anyway, Wednesday looks tasty to say the least and with Rooney bagging four yesterday I think goals are most certainly in the equation. That and we'll see how Gary Neville can further his status of acting like a dick more often than he actually plays these days.

Then on Wednesday we had Villa v Blackburn which was so ridiculous it was almost offensive. There were goals, red cards, goals, penalties, goals, OVERHEAD FUCKING KICK GOALS and more goals. Suffice to say; lots of goals. I can't even remember who scored them now to be honest, probably be easier to name who didn't score them. What is easy to say though is that Villa would have been in for a tough time if Blackburn didn't go down to ten men. But it was the right decision. That's what happens when you play a striker like Samba in defense. What's that? Oh he's a defender again now is he? But doesn't Big Sam always.. No? Anyway, a great game for the neutral and a great advertisement for a competition that before this week no-one gave a shit about. Made the FA Cup results this weekend look a bit tame in comparison. Hope Leeds can do over Tottenham at home now though. Can see some magic in that story.

Aaaaaand finally. Went to see Sherlock Holmes today. Heard mixed things about it, but I quite enjoyed it. But I quite like Guy Ritchie films so I always was going to. Downey Jr is amazing as ever, the music is a bizarre mix of Irish and Polka and there's lots of clever bits of slow-mo like you'd expect. Oh and Mark Strong is in it as always. Does feel a bit long and some of the scenes in the middle do bring the yawns but apart from that worth the £4.50 of Child's Tickets day or whatever was happening down at the cinema in town. Whatever it was still a half empty cinema.

2010: What To Look Forward To

The only downside about January is that all you favourite lists from December are gone. Well if you're sitting there, crying alone in your room, desperately trying to put your favourite fingers in a preferential list just to satisfy your need for things to be listed numerically in order of quality then you can stop your worry now! Not that I'm making a list. But there is of course the annual event of "let's predict what will be big this year". So I'm going to have a pop as well. Not that my predictions are any good, or even note-worthy but merely so I can look back in twelve months time and ask "what the hell was I thinking".

So, the obvious one to mention is Ellie Goulding who everyone seems to love at the moment. She doesn't do much for me really but I imagine by her being a solo, female artist and singing inoffensive popesque music she'll do well. The NME are banging on about The Drums who apparently sound like a modern Beach Boys. Personally they look like the biggest bunch of cunts since The Kooks. And they were massive cunts. Remember his hair? Jesus, he looked like a prick. The Drums music is also pretty dull. Like a few hyped bands from last year really. Girls and Phoenix. Went back and listened to their records. Just boring. Also listened to The Big Pink, they were just shit though.

My favourite new artist is Gold Panda who I've been loving for a couple of months. Making a kind of ambient electronica that is both unique and pleasing. Like a cake with personalised icing. From what I've listened to recently as well Surfer Blood, Joy Orbison and Egyptian Hip-Hop (Couldn't find Nifeo on Youtube, but it's worth hunting down) also are alright. To me Surfer Blood sound a bit Wezzerish, Joy Orbison is apparently "dubstep" although I know nothing about the genre really and Egyptian Hip-Hop sound like a mix of XX Teens and Late Of The Pier. Personally I think XX Teens are better than Egyptian Hip Hop. They certainly don't look as stupid. But what do I know!

Film wise there's three kinds of films to look forward to. There's some complete shit that undoubtedly people will go watch: New Twilight, New Narnia, Step Up 3D and even a new Cats and Dogs film (the ever popular franchise). There's some big hollywood releases: Prince Of Persia, Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, The A-Team and Toy Story 3. Then there's two films that will clearly be brilliant: Tron Legacy and a Red Dawn remake. Wolverines, etc. Not sure what's coming out of left-field for this year yet. Sure they'll be some gems though. Still got a few to watch from last year, namely: A Serious Man, Moon, District 9 and a few others.

Finally, game wise there's bundles and bundles of joy coming our way. A lot of it in quarter one for a change too. I hate that I just used the term "quarter one" by the way. Been reading too many articles about games it seems. Anyway, Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, Dante's Inferno, Aliens Vs Predator, Alan Wake, Just Cause 2 just to start with. Obviously the most interesting addition will be Natal vs Gem (as it's apparently known). We shall see. I predict Halo:Reach to be the years biggest seller. Possibly pipped by Treyarch's Call Of Duty iteration. Again, we shall see.

I shall leave you to what I look forward most this year; Newcastle United back in the Premiership. Adieu.