Perfect Dark

After months of shivering, weeping, wailing, flailing and generally debasing myself in anticipation of playing Perfect Dark, today saw it silently creep onto the marketplace. So after a frustrating wander round town trying to find somewhere I could pick up some Microsoft Points I finally got to settle down with it after so many years away. The first thing you notice is that everything feels the same, the music, the graphics, the sound effects. It's pretty much unchanged, which is for the better really in terms of fan service. Those expecting Modern Warfare graphics though are probably best off sticking to the upcoming Stimulus Package (5 maps, 3 new, 2 old for 1200MSP! What value!). It does feel dated in some places, it's worth pointing out. The controls feel imprecise, especially whilst aiming. When you hold down the L trigger it feels like you're dragging a corpse along the screen when scrolling sideways. Voice acting is not the best, but hey, no-one really cared about that then. One amusing point was when a scientist sarcastically claimed he would "help me out" but "accidents may happen" but then didn't press the alarm as I'd done the objective in the wrong order. Oh hilarity. One new addition would be the Xbox Live multiplayer. This again was a miss for me. Almost quite literally. A ten minute match on Felicity turned into a slapping match in the bunker area. Frustrating at best, plain ridiculously shit more accurately. However, it just works. The game is massive and (quite rarely for this gen) has a hell load of multiplayer options for split-screen and online. For 800 points you could do a whole lot worse but if you loved the original anywhere near as much as I did you need to pick this up right now.

As I only could buy 2100 points I had a few pennies left over. I say had to, I chose to. So after an hour of debating whether I buy Peggle again I went for Fifa Ultimate Team and the Big Surf Island add-on for Burnout Paradise. I've only played the former so far as I decided to come downstairs and watch Barcelona destroy Stuttgart. I mean destroy as well, Man Utd and Arsenal are probably worried. Rightly so. Anyway, Ultimate Team is like Manager Mode meets the Pokémon Trading Card Game (which was a guilty pleasure of mine on the Game Boy Colour). Seems to be quite fun so far and a nice little diversion from the main game, so probably quite fairly priced at 400 points then.

Gaming Tuesday (On Wednesday)

When I first got my 360 one of the immediate things that struck me was the achievement system. I'd dabbled on friend's consoles playing a bit of Halo and Pro Evo (When it used to be good :'( ..) and not really noticed it at all. As soon as I did though I became slightly obsessed with it. Then once I got Live going I realised that all my friend's scores were there to see and compete with. This encouraged me further. Further down the spiral. To the point where I stood in Blockbuster with unwashed clothes, pale dirty skin and a copy of Avatar in my shaking, sweaty palm. Well, not actually. But that sounds more poetic than just one day realising there's no real point in furthering your gamer score. That is of course until last night. I'm now ignited in a race for me to get to 50k before a friend of mine can get to 10k. Foolish you may say. Bah! Well, it probably is. But it took him the best part of 3 years to get to 5k so I'm hedging my bets on this one.

Anyway the point in that rather listless narrative endeavour is that I decided to pick up the baton and give Borderlands a thorough finishing. Which I did today. This game had bored me a little after I beasted a fair few hours into it when it first arrived. Coming back to it though, after a couple of weeks away, reignited my passion for it. Probably one of the best, if not the best, new IPs of last year. The story, as I constantly state, is cack. But the game is consistently fun and rewarding. Getting a sweet alien purple ball blasting rifle thing after defeating a rather troublesome grunt being a prime example of this. It went on to be my weapon of choice in the rather baffling final boss fight. It was a bit shit. Not Arkham Asylum boss shit. But still pretty shit. So, next on my list is the rather average Mercenaries 2. Like Just Cause before it, I find it a bit of a disappointing mess. My brother loved both games though. So I might be wrong. Anyway we'll see.

The scores currently are: Cherky 2 (5674) v Captain Fantasm (27703).
A long way to go for me then.

Triffids & Arcade

So it's a new year today, a new start for all. Best get your gym equipment down at the Argos clearance sale then. My personal new years resolution would be. Hmmm. I'll get back to you on that.

In the end I did get round to watching the sparkling new BBC version of The Day Of The Triffids. The one thing I'd recommend before watching it is to get ready to get involved. Not because it's a deep and moving drama, no, because it's about people running away from plants. It literally is 28 Days Later, Homebase style. I found it very hard not to laugh when one of the opening lines was "My mother was killed by a triffid." delivered in a gruff Scottish style by Dougary Scott. It is though, good fun and well made. It almost begs the question why didn't they remake something that could be quite scary? I don't know, like The Blob? We're due a new version of that right? Anyway, good fun and Eddie Izzard needs to act more. Not in a bad way, he certainly is cut out to play more malevolent types.

Gaming wise I've finally got round to playing a few of the downloadable titles I've been meaning to get in to. Firstly, The Maw is a platformer where you lead an ever increasing in size alien around feeding him and solving puzzles. It's good fun in short bursts and most certainly worth the 400 points (crazy Microsoft and their currency) I paid for it. Secondly, Shadow Complex is like Metroid, although I imagine you already know that. It's all it ever gets compared to. But they are remarkably similar. This is a great title and really shows what can be done with the Live Arcade when some effort is put into it. I'm disappointed I left it off my top ten for this year now. Thirdly, Battlefield 1943 is another Microsoft discount lovely, aren't they kind this yuletide season. Probably because the were pre-empting the inevitable crash of Xbox Live this yuletide season. So what better way to ring in the new year than an online only FPS. It doesn't have the depth or variety of Halo or COD in my eyes but it still packs a punch. Although flying a plane is really tricky. I've successfully done a bombing run once and crash landed many more times. The final title I bought was upon Steam for a change. The title says it all really, Plants Vs Zombies. To put it simply it's PopCap. A company that are already very close to my heart thanks to Peggle. There is also promise of a song in the credits when I get there. We'll see if it tops Portal's. Oh and it's great by the way.

Various Titbits #6

So, Christmas. Was fun wasn't it? Feel like I've eaten enough shit to defecate around a metric ton. Also had a bizarre red wine hangover that has constantly crept up on me all day like a fuzzy ninja pain blanket. If such a thing is possible. Been a good one though, my quizzing prowess has been (frankly) outstanding and my gullet has been well and truly pleasured. Mainly received the gift of money this year which heart-breakingly is going to go towards rent and bills. Although I did splurge out the full £39.99 on Left 4 Dead 2 which I've been plunked in front of for most of today. It's a painful thing because it certainly warrants the full game status it has in comparison to say ODST but it still is a little growth. Melee weapons are great fun, the new special infected add more to Versus mode and the tweaks on the level designs are brilliant. But the game is still pretty much the same. Hopefully we'll get some old school Valve drip feeds of free content for this one. Although knowing Microsoft I'll get my credit card out.

Christmas of course means one thing I haven't already mentioned and that is shit movies. Not seen an awful lot to be honest. Not sure how, usually some turd gravy like Over The Hedge would have me happily transfixed for a couple of hours like a simpleton toddler. But this year I couldn't do it. Not even the hilarious dubbing in the Neverending Story held my attention for more than half an hour. Although for what that film is half an hour is probably much longer than I should have been watching it for. Anyway, did watch the third in the Pirates Of The Caribbean series. First thing I should say is that I haven't seen the first two. Didn't really hurt though, I'm pretty sure it would have made as little sense if I had anyway. It was like watching a swash buckling equivalent of Transformers. Made no sense at all and just packed full of CGI and nonsensical shots. Johnny Depp was good though. So there's your silver lining. Anyway, watching the BBC's take on Day Of The Triffids later (or playing some Live depending on what my mate is doing) so will have at least one more thing to enjoy this festive period.

Orphan & Crash Time III

I've had Orphan knocking around for a while but hadn't got round to watching it. The first time I sat down to watch it I got a rather downbeat phone call from my university tutor asking me for a tutorial. It put me on a bit too much of a downer to watch it. I sat and listened to OK Computer for an hour instead and contemplated the misery of existence. The tutorial was actually a good thing anyway so I don't why I felt so mopey. I now know what assignments I've got to look forward to in 2010. Fun, fun. Anyway Orphan is good. Its a good ol' fashion scare em up. With some rather brutal deaths. The hammer killing for one was rather horrible. Very reminiscent of the stabbing in GTA IV in terms of sound effects. The mother (Sarah Jessica Parker) descends in to madness very early on, which I guess is to be expected. The film may have been markedly improved if she did a Sex And The City style narration for her lacking sanity as well. Of course, I was upset to learn it wasn't SJP in the lead but someone called Vera. She was in The Departed though. So kudos is due. Anywho it all goes tits up at the end as the sweet cherub turns into an angry midget version of Jamie Winstone. Entertaining though, not the best horror movie of the year. But certainly a good one.

I try to download a lot of demos on Xbox Live. Just to get a good feel for whats coming out and to see if I find something that I might like. I don't write about it though really because its not a fair viewpoint on a game. You can only tell if you might like it or definitely won't like it from a demo. However Crash Time III transcends such boundaries. The game is like Burnout meets True Crime but it's set in a Sweden where everyone does New York accents. Driving feels like ice skating, the crash replays seem to happen at random and everything is valued at 17,000 Euros. It's terrible. But so bad it's good. I want everyone to play it. I want people to talk about it. The first mission sees you given a 45 second time limit to get to a bakery for breakfast. I shit you not. When the demo ends it claims "it furthers the exciting franchise" or something like that. I'll be honest I didn't realise there was others. But now I'll be researching for them high and low. Crash Time III for Game Of The Year. Possibly decade. Heard it here first.

Various Titbits #5

Been a busy week for for me, culminating in my last shift of the week in a couple of hours now. I'm officially nocturnal now, before I dabbled in insomnia. Occasionally not reaching slumber until the harsh rays of light and audible stumble of approaching school children (I live near a school, not by choice of course. Coincidence I assure you.). Anywho this leaves me with very little time for my usual habits of films and the like, but as ever I made time.

So cinematically speaking very little has happened. I did however get to re-watch Batman Begins last Sunday for the first time since I saw it at the multiplex. It seems strange that a film released about 5 years ago is only just having it's network premiere. I remember as a kid that network premieres were the most exciting thing about television. Another reason why Christmas was a magical time of year, Mum and Dad hadn't taken you to the cinema to see the film when it came out and now its on at 2pm on Boxing Day. Hurrah! But anyway, the film is better than I remember it being. Although there is no Ledger show-stopping performances there is just one long blockbuster that entertains from start to finish. Also making The Scarecrow scary is an achievement in itself. I always remember him being a bit lame in the cartoon but in the film he's realised as an element of true psychological horror. Something they also took to Arkham Asylum. Seemingly Batman can do no wrong these days. Here's hoping they do get round to making a third, even if The Dark Knight is going to be almost impossible to top I'm sure the Nolan brothers will conjure up a story which clamber near those dizzy heights.

I've also been watching a fair bit of TV but nothing out of the ordinary. All I will say is I'm very thankful for the BBC's comedic output. Something good to watch almost every night before work on the iPlayer. Still, saving True Blood and Misfits for the weekend. Going to get home at 12 today after my shift, whack on Score and have a few beers. Then start the catch up. Good times. I have also progressed quite far in Borderlands. I do find myself getting a little bored with the quests, lots of fetching and shooting and the like. Unfortunately no-one on my friends list is playing it or even owns it by the look of it and I don't really fancy diving in to the pre-pubescent, expletive ridden land of Xbox Live alone. Oh well, sparing plays for short periods have made this less of a worry but I can't help but feel I'm missing out on the majority of the fun of the game. If it's anything like that seen in Left 4 Dead its probably going to be a fair whack of it. Right best be off, got to make a sandwich for work. Now that I live in GMT+13. So I imagine this is what its like to be Russian, starting your day when everyone else has finished theirs. How very depressing.

Wristcutters: A Love Story & 1 vs 100

You can tell with a title like Wristcutters: A Love Story you're going to be in for some indie melodrama and the film, in many ways, lives up to these preconceptions. The plot is thus; boy goes through break up, kills himself, enters limbo, finds out ex is also there, road trip. In many ways the film is quite close to the narrative track you'd expect once you disregard the setting. In writing the film seems like an appealing prospect but watching it is a very different experience. In all honesty, its just quite boring. There's a few nice scenes and having Gogol Bordello and Tom Waits featured is always a winner. But there's not enough to make it stand out from the rest of the indie crowd. Its a 5/10 if I ever saw one. I will say this though; the ending is lovely.

Tonight (well yesterday I think) saw the triumphant return of 1 vs 100 to Xbox Live. I'm assuming you saw the ticker tape and news specials dedicated to its explosive appearance back in our lives? No? Neither did I really. Logged on today to get some Last FM fuelled Football Manager happening and noticed the little logo winking at me from the Spotlight section. I thought "Why the hell not?". Well I soon found out why not. Firstly I had to download the game. Which is fine. But it came in three sections. Why? Surely its just one game? But once that wait was over (I cooked some food while waiting, oh the joys of having an evening to yourself) I was finally chucked in to the middle of the prize game. I got 7 straight correct answers over two rounds, the questions seemed easier this time than season one. Then the game crashed. Oh. Cheers for that. So booted it back up again, got in and then bang another crash. Then got into extended play and a few questions in ANOTHER FUCKING CRASH. I thought we'd already had the beta for this? Are we in the gamma now? Come on Microsoft, just pull it and sort it. I'd rather that than maybe fluke my way into a prize winning position and then have you crash the game.

On a final note Football Manager has driven me mildly insane. Two 94th minute losses on the bounce to Preston and Swansea respectively. I almost ate my own face. Luckily Last FM has been streaming me the pleasing post-rock plumage of Sigur Ros radio. At least Microsoft included one good, working new feature recently.