Prince Of Persia & Football

For handing in my assignment on time I decided to reward myself with a cheap preowned game while waiting for the bus home. Unfortunately the Blockbuster I visited does that annoying thing where they have their preowned stuff outside the shop so you feel like you're rummaging through a stranger's bin more than browsing titles thanks to the looks of disgust from passing pedestrians. Although their disgust may have been that I was listening to Flying Lotus so loud the bass was giving them confusing erotic feelings for the short period in which they passed me. Anyway, I chose Prince Of Persia as it was £4.99 (cheap) and near the front of the pile. I've never played a Prince Of Persia game before because I usually buy games about shooting or football (or Viva Pinata or Pokémon but less about that eh?) but it strikes me as being very similar to Assassin's Creed. Turns out they're both made by Ubisoft Montreal. Go figure. The game starts off frustratingly in that I can't get used to the controls because they're not the same as Assassin's Creed. Things like holding B instead of A confuse the hell out of me it seems. Then there's the fact you die if you try to jump to a slightly lower platform. Not all the time though. Just some of the time. Enough to make you consider trying it when you shouldn't. Then there's the glowing ball things. I know now I'm never going to collect them all unless I get extremely bored. But with my next Swapgame being Aliens Vs Predator that could well happen. Still going to try and finish it because I don't want to add it to Rainbow Six Vegas, Red Alert 3, Viva Pinata: TIP or any of the other games I've never bothered to finish lately.

So last night in the Champion's League Man Utd went to see good ol' Bayern Munich. I don't remember when they stopped being good, when I was a kid they were terrifying team. As was Juventus. I remember that night in Barcelona when Teddy and Olé sneaked a win as well, I was just happy to be allowed to stay up and watch it. Turns out though, they are still pretty good. I know I should want Man Utd to win, but I honestly don't. I'm so fed up of idiot fans talking about how great they are with little or no recognition for the teams they're playing. Football ignorance is a sin in my eyes. I listened to the game on the radio as the idea of socialising or scouring the internet to watch it seemed unappealing. Glad to see Bayern get the result they deserved, kind of happy to see Rooney out as well. Be interesting to see how that affects Saturday's game against Chelsea. Then there was the game tonight. Barcelona destroyed Arsenal in a 2-2 draw. A sentence that makes no sense yet is completely accurate. Next week should be a cracker, might even risk socialising for that game.

Shooter, Surrogates & The Devil's Advocate

I like the idea of Shooter. We should just name films with exactly what they're about. Shooter, Fighting, Snakes On A Plane. You know what you're getting, shit vaguely polished into a story about the title. So with this one you've got Mark Wahlberg in Max Payne mode. He's tough, like some kind of secret sniper tough. But then his partner died, so he quit and grew a questionable beard and lived on a mountain. Then he gets recruited to stop an assassination attempt on the President. The he gets framed for said assassination. If you've ever seen a Steven Segal movie then you know what's going on here. Apart from maybe the great moment where a man falls through a window with a dog on his arm. Still, cool explosions and it's nice to see Danny Glover.

Surrogates is one of those high premise sci-fi movies that no-one goes to see at the cinema and are destined for late night TV reruns for years to come. The most off putting thing about the film is the surrogates of the title which are robot versions of people which you control via a bed/computer system. The acting of these varies from wooden (which would seem appropriate) to realistic (such as Bruce Willis' FBI partner). This is confusing at times but luckily Bruce Willis is bald with stubble to show he's not a robot. Anyway, it's good throwaway rubbish. Not worth going out of your way for but there's certainly worse films to watch (see above).

I remember watching The Devil's Advocate when I was younger, drawn in by the promise of violence, swearing and nudity. I was of course, not prepared for Keanu Reeves' ass which ironically was the most natural thing in his performance. Some scars never heal. It's Grisham meets King in terms of story, one which builds nicely before reaching a climax of such absurdity you become unsure if you're still watching the film you started with. Luckily Al Pacino is mental and makes the film watchable throughout even with the hammy ending and outdated cinematography (only George Lucas still does those screenwipe cuts).

South Park, Twilight & LCD Soundsystem

Butters is one of the best things about South Park in recent years and he's just as good in the new season that I think kicked off a couple of weeks ago but I didn't realise until this morning. It feels like it's been months and months since that last episode about a pee epidemic in a water park (a classic as ever). First episode is excellent with the new EA Tiger Wood's game being a laugh out loud moment. Then there's the slightly extended moment of vomiting in a TV interview section of the second episode. Oh god I've missed this show. There's just nothing anywhere near as funny as South Park these days.

I managed to break my personal vow of not watching a Twilight film last night. Venturing downstairs I found my housemate and another mate settled down in front of it. I joined in somewhat reluctantly. It was the second one which was on although I'm not sure what I missed in terms of story from the first. Firstly everything that happens in the film is in the trailer. I was waiting for the rest of the film to kick in, but it never did. Not that anything really happens. It's just Kristen Stewart moping for most of it, either that or breathing so heavily I thought I was watching soft-core porn. The obvious undertones of abstinence are embarrassing as well, made all the more apparent with scenes of eye-staring and heavy breathing that go on for so long I wouldn't be surprised if they made up 90% of the running time. I just don't get it, for such a blockbuster series how can so little happen? I'll stick to Harry Potter I think for franchise movies. At least they have something going on in them.

A track off LCD Soundsystem's new record has leaked and is now being officially streamed here. It's apparently the new single and is called Drunk Girls. Not sure what to think at the moment apart from that it reminds me so much of Blur's Girls and Boys thanks to the lyrics in the chorus. Seems good fun though in a North American Scum kind of vein. File under catchy. May 17th for the new album as well.

Football & Musical Titbits

It's getting to that time in the season that's so appropriately known as "squeaky bum time" and of course this season it's more widespread than ever. Unless you live on the south coast. After getting their nine point deduction finalised I imagine Portsmouth's bums are done squeaking and now just weeping pooey tears of relegation. Lovely. It looks like the title is going down to the wire this year anyway, although there's still a 66% chance that the FA can reuse the ribbons from the photo as Arsenal and Man Utd are both in the running with Chelsea now. During a moment of educational procrastination I deduced that by my predictions Arsenal would sneak the title by a point from Man Utd and Chelsea would be consoled a further point behind in third. But this is coming from the man who has been baffled by the 24 hour system on his alarm clock more than once in the last month. So pinch of salt and that. Also getting closer to those Champions League quarters which I am thoroughly excited about. Not excited enough to remember if it's next week or the week after but still very excited. Messi is going to (unfortunately) destroy Arsenal and whichever poor soul gets stuck at right back defending against Robben for Man Utd will be more embarrassed than I was when I accidentally did a fart when waiting for a train a couple of weeks ago. I was pretty damn shamed by that as well. Still exciting times. Even Newcastle are a little on edge these days, although 5 points clear at the top it's ours to throw away. Or punch into our team mate's face. Whichever is more self-destructive for us really.

Got caught up in leak madness today. Not the frankly disturbing video but that of Flying Lotus and his new album. Luckily I was too caught up in the moral quagmire of whether to do it or not to realise that it was in fact not the actual record but a fake or apparently something miss tagged and generally mixed up. Better off waiting then. To fill in the gap though another song by The National has arisen, this one a studio version from the new album. It's up on the official site. It's good, not quite got the same instant impact of Terrible Love though. Also got the new album by Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. They seem to have given up on the Radiohead samples and (in places) got into drum and bass. Which I don't mind. Lyrically it can be quite preachy at times but songs like Snob have that much more relatable subject matter of musical snobs. Kicker of a beat too. Also played on Microsoft's Game Room. I say played; loaded it up, decorated my "room", looked at the games on offer, decided it was shit and turned off the 360. Could have been a good idea but at the moment it's an absolute waste of time and money.

Music Titbits & Burnout Paradise

Just managed to recover from a 3 day bender this weekend, not had one of those in a while. One of the main things that got me through a painful Sunday (apart from an enormous amount of Smash and sausages) was Laura Marling's new album. New single Devil's Spoke is a good example of how talented she is. Tender, touching and just wonderful stuff really. Scary to think she's younger than me as well. Not the most reassuring thought when you've got a mouthful of mash potato, a head full of hangover and you're glumly staring at a laptop in your pants. Today I also found a couple more leaked Flying Lotus tracks which again are fantastic. They're not on Youtube yet but the obscenely outstanding Computer Face is. I'm almost counting the days for this one. 3rd May, 3rd May, etc. Also listening to MGMT's new album currently. Remember them claiming to be influenced by all sort of obscure musicians and whatnot. Which makes them sound unbelievably cool obviously. The album leaked so they're streaming it for free on their site, which is nice. "We wanted to offer it as a free download but that didn't make sense to anyone but us" they claim. It's alright really, nowhere near as spectacular as I'm sure many will claim. Brian Eno will undoubtedly appreciate the track dedicated to him as well. You can really feel the ambient influence. Also, fuck me, the new song by The National is incredible. Another cracker for May then.

Had my first foray onto Big Surf Island in Burnout Paradise as well today. 1000 points seems like a lot of money but now I've played it I think it was well spent. The island is much open for want of a better word, with jumps and secret routes all very well integrated in the map. In fact it's better than the main game really for that, I certainly enjoy it a lot more. Apart from the events are quite tricky, or I'm just not used to using the insane beach buggy. Fun as hell though so glad I bought the game at all. Time for a sequel Criterion?

Perfect Dark

After months of shivering, weeping, wailing, flailing and generally debasing myself in anticipation of playing Perfect Dark, today saw it silently creep onto the marketplace. So after a frustrating wander round town trying to find somewhere I could pick up some Microsoft Points I finally got to settle down with it after so many years away. The first thing you notice is that everything feels the same, the music, the graphics, the sound effects. It's pretty much unchanged, which is for the better really in terms of fan service. Those expecting Modern Warfare graphics though are probably best off sticking to the upcoming Stimulus Package (5 maps, 3 new, 2 old for 1200MSP! What value!). It does feel dated in some places, it's worth pointing out. The controls feel imprecise, especially whilst aiming. When you hold down the L trigger it feels like you're dragging a corpse along the screen when scrolling sideways. Voice acting is not the best, but hey, no-one really cared about that then. One amusing point was when a scientist sarcastically claimed he would "help me out" but "accidents may happen" but then didn't press the alarm as I'd done the objective in the wrong order. Oh hilarity. One new addition would be the Xbox Live multiplayer. This again was a miss for me. Almost quite literally. A ten minute match on Felicity turned into a slapping match in the bunker area. Frustrating at best, plain ridiculously shit more accurately. However, it just works. The game is massive and (quite rarely for this gen) has a hell load of multiplayer options for split-screen and online. For 800 points you could do a whole lot worse but if you loved the original anywhere near as much as I did you need to pick this up right now.

As I only could buy 2100 points I had a few pennies left over. I say had to, I chose to. So after an hour of debating whether I buy Peggle again I went for Fifa Ultimate Team and the Big Surf Island add-on for Burnout Paradise. I've only played the former so far as I decided to come downstairs and watch Barcelona destroy Stuttgart. I mean destroy as well, Man Utd and Arsenal are probably worried. Rightly so. Anyway, Ultimate Team is like Manager Mode meets the Pokémon Trading Card Game (which was a guilty pleasure of mine on the Game Boy Colour). Seems to be quite fun so far and a nice little diversion from the main game, so probably quite fairly priced at 400 points then.

Gaming Tuesday (On Sunday)

After going a bit ebay mad last week I got the chance to settle down with the (thankfully) only two games I won. Firstly Rainbow Six Vegas transfers all the tense hostage rescuing from gloomy warehouses to glitzy casinos. Or at least the box promises that then gives you a bewilderingly grey and brown opening level in Mexico or somewhere. It's like a tour de force of grey, going from a town to a train yard, some warehouses, some tunnels, some more warehouses. Although I think grey and brown was still awesome when it came out. I can't remember. Anyway, the checkpoints are also horrible. Hence why the opening level stuck with me (and I was stuck with it) for so long. I'm not a Rainbow Six veteran in my defence, if anything I found the squad combat confusing as my team-mates seemed keen to stand behind a car and shoot into it as opposed to around at the enemy. This meant that I found myself leading the line and dying which then left me half an hour back with so much rage that I felt like kicking puppies or children. But for a game of it's age it still looks pretty and bar said team-mate hiccups everything works pretty well. I shall, as ever, persevere.

Burnout Paradise is another game from a while ago although I actually rented this when I first got my 360 and fell in love with it. I've been waiting for The Ultimate Box to drop low enough in price to pick up and I felt that the £7 I paid for it was pretty reasonable. Although probably not as reasonable as the £3 I paid for Rainbow Six. Anyway, the game is as joyous as I remember even if the other events aren't as enjoyable as the carnage fuelled Road Rage. It's literally a hands in the air moment when one of those comes up at the cross-roads. Played on from where my old save was which was a little jarring going in halfway through the game but I quickly found my feet again. Luckily there's a whole ocean of added on content to wade through as well afterwards although 1000MSP for the new island seems quite pricey when Perfect Dark is out next week for 800MSP. Might have to put it off till the next student loan installment. Ah government funded gaming. Love it.

Beta Late Than Never

So in a veritable smorgasbord of exciting things that have happened to me in the last few days a couple happened within 5 minutes of each other. A tale of two betas really. Unfortunately by the time I'd downloaded and installed the beta for Fifa Online the server had closed for the night so I got involved on the Blur beta on the 360. The best description is Burnout Kart really, it robs violently from both games. Although the developer has pedigree in the genre (Metropolis Street Racer, Project Gotham Racing) a lot of the things from those games seem to have gone out the window. Everything is at breakneck speed in a 70's neo glow in this one. It's good fun with depth in a variety of cars and maps that you can tweak with although I've not ploughed the time in yet to see them. Split/Second still looks more exciting though to be honest and I have Burnout Paradise winging it's way to me so I'll see if I have the inclination to go back.

Fifa Online for me is a mixed bag. My laptop lurches forward loading it with teary pixels streaming down it's graphically gurning face. It works quite well setting your team up and choosing myself as a grey fox of the managerial world but as soon as I tried a friendly against Spurs it jittered around like a man having a fit on a Segway. After toning down the graphics to the lowest possible setting it was slightly less jittery although still was very jumpy in mid-field. I found it hard to adjust to as the gameplay had more in common with the Wii PES iterations (which I have also not played). Looks to be fun though but unless I somehow acquire a new computer I doubt I'll be getting the full joy of it.

Finally I got my first few listens of the new Gorillaz album Plastic Beach on Spotify. Really enjoyed it, hard to name a group that sounds so eclectic throughout a record. Sweepstakes is one of the best songs I've heard all year and is a pretty good example of the collision of genres you get with a Gorillaz album. Hoping my Russian site of choice will have it up soon as I really will kill someone if I have to hear that pissing Burger King advert again. Sorry "king" Burger King advert. Cunts.

In The Loop, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & FA Cup

It's the Oscars tonight which will undoubtedly be offering a vigorous industry reach-around for Bigelow's ode to testosterone or Cameron's poetic synopsis on how "WE SHOULD LOVE THE EARTH AND STUFF YEAH?". The BBC being the fantastic channel it is offered up it's nominated sweary classic In The Loop. I almost spat out my mash potato when Malcolm Tucker uttered "What is this? The shitting forecast?" in the first scene. The insults only got ruder and cruder throughout. It is essentially The Thick Of It with some added Americans but I don't think anyone's complaining. Great movie, but the only thing that could win a Brit an Oscar is a plasticine man discussing cheese with his pet dog.

After panicking about whether Swapgame would send me a game on time I woke up in a hungover daze on Saturday to find Battlefield: Bad Company 2 sitting under my letterbox. I also found some bills. But that was a whole lot less rewarding or exciting. There is one tempting comparison to make about the game. But I'll resist. So started with the single player campaign which in a nutshell is you and a small band of troops are on a mission to single handedly save the world. You do this via shooting people in the face with guns, tanks, helicopters or even by crushing a building on to them. Obviously onto the face. It all works great and everything but. It's just like Call Of Duty. I don't know which came first or whatever but, it's very similar. I tried to give the multi-player a go but I couldn't connect or I got kicked before it began. Maybe they knew I was a newbie. Still a bit of single player to go (only one twist so far) and no multiplayer but so far so good.

In between all the face shooting there's been another plethora of football on ITV. Which is obviously a mixed bag because it's great to see it on terrestrial but when did Gareth Southgate become their key pundit. At least they've not let Andy Townsend have his fucking computer, that was worse than Andy Gray and his insistence on showing us that wingers will go down the wing for EVERY FUCKING TEAM. Cheers Andy, it's bad enough hearing you take the piss out of Newcastle every time I play Fifa 10 anyway. Anyway very briefly, Portsmouth did well, Fulham v Spurs was dull as hell, Villa had one hell of a comeback after being shown up by Reading and Chelsea did just about enough in another pretty dull game. Here's to Arsenal's uphill task on Tuesday then.

The Typing Of The Dead, Modern Warfare 2, England v Egypt

I fulfilled my teenage dream tonight of owning The Typing Of The Dead. As soon as I heard about this game I knew I wanted, no, needed it. The premise is simple, it's House Of The Dead 2. Only our favourite agents are now equipped with keyboards and over sized back-pack Dreamcasts. You then type increasingly bizarre phrases at the oncoming horde. I don't want to spoil the sentences, but they are fantastic. "Suffer like G did" will seem like the pinnacle of dialogue after you've been forced to type some of the rather more obscure ends of the game's dictionary. The most surprising thing though is that the game is amazingly fun. If it wasn't so late when I started playing I would have been hooting and howling over this gem. Find it, hunt it down and whip out your keyboard because this game is surely a forgotten classic. I guarantee you'll smile merely at the opening "The Typing....Of The Dead" voice over.

In face shooting related topics I've continued on my Veteran difficulty play-through of Modern Warfare 2. Just finished the Gulag level and I must say that it's not been too bad this time. Bar some frustration on the Favela level and a lot of frustration the smoke bit of the oil rig level it's been smooth sailing. Shall pick up again tomorrow from the first level in destroyed Washington (the name escapes me). Could do with the G boost really as well as I'm in a race for the month of March. That and the one with my friend is still happening (I'm just over 30,00. He's just over 7,000). The lack of any news from Swapgame is also worrying, that was going to be my ace in the hole. When it's been a week then I'll start to panic.

Finally another England game another satisfying win. A poor first half performance led to a solid second half display. Personally I think maybe dropping Lampard from the first team might be the way forward, Carrick's passing is top notch and can really bring something to the game in mid-field when you've got the likes of Rooney and Gerrard in front of him. Crouch also scored again, I don't think anyone knows how he does it, he just does. He's got a scoring record better than John Terry away from home. Ah, better late than never with that one.

Musical Titbits

Looks like it's going to be another frustratingly long wait for my next Swapgame, yet to receive an e-mail saying they've got Bioshock 2 back let alone processed my next order. Luckily this lull in games has led to a glut of new music of late. Well kind of. Foals have announced new single and album information which I have greeted with mild excitement for a change, really enjoyed Antidotes. I have semi fond memories of cycling to work at 5am listening to that album on route. New track Spanish Sahara starts off almost Anthony & The Johnsons esque before building into an epic thing of beauty. Or it's just pretty good, that sounds a lot less wanky.

As I mentioned before Frightened Rabbit's new album is great, although I imagine that you might end up hearing it for the rest of the year. The album couldn't scream "mainstream breakthrough" anymore unless you put Tinchy Stryder somewhere on it. Probably the best album of the year so far for me. Hot Chip's latest a close second. Somehow they've made an album with an 80's power ballad on it and it still sounds fantastic. Got the self titled album by The Soft Pack as well which is garage rock by numbers really. The peak of mediocrity. Now it's just the painfully long wait for the new Flying Lotus record. After dropping this May seems a decade away.

I also was one of the lucky ones to get my Glastonbury ticket paid for so now with the headliners of U2, Muse & Stevie Wonder I couldn't be more disappointed that I didn't go last year. Here's hoping they get any of the bands mentioned of above to appear as well else it'll be my tears of disappointment soaking the ground of Pilton as well as the rain.