Trials HD

It's not just been football for the past week, there's a clearout going on over on the Xbox Live Arcade. I've snapped up three in total; 'splosion Man, Zombie Apocalypse and Trials HD. The third of which has engrossed me the most. Trials is simple in it's design. Accelerate, brake, lean forward and lean back. That's all you need to know. Well that and the instant restart button (B) or even level restart if you're going for medals (back button). The aim is equally plain: get to the end of the course. That's it. But what sounds like a shallow experience confounds to be completely rewarding. The levels slowly increase in complexity, requiring precise accuracy and timing. This obviously leads to moments of screaming frustration but those depths are overcome by the dizzying heights of passing the section. The instant restart button (which if you're anything like me will have your finger constantly hovering over it) will become your best friend and has no loading to prevent added frustration. Trials just nails that rare balance of frightfully challenging gameplay and disturbingly addictive playability meaning that you will easily sink up to 45 minutes on one section without realising you've made 400 failed attempts. It's been lorded everywhere as one of the best on XBLA and for me it easily is up there and for 560 points it's a steal.

Prose

He stares mournfully out the window, rain dashing against the pane creating a somewhat fitting cliché. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders forcing his head to lull below them. He turns his back to the room, barely lit by the dimmed bulb in the corner, and walks to the table. In front rests the source of his woes, a culmination of toil and despair. His hand rattles with trepidation as it reaches for the pen, his heart says no but his head says yes. The teeth grit, the muscles tense, the beads of sweat form on his brow as the pen is lowered to the page. It's done. He stands and turns to the window, turning his back on his actions. As a solitary tear runs down his face the "England 0-0 Algeria" scoreline on the wall-chart flickers in the lamplight.

World Cup First Round (Of Matches)

It's all gone so fast hasn't it? Been a flurry of misplaced passes, hoofing clearances, spooned free-kicks and BEES, FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE oh wait no it's vuvuzelas. Last year I remember texting in to the BBC text coverage of the Confederations Cup saying the vuvuzelas were annoying "but beats the England Supporters Band". How lucky we were then that they joyously combined in England's opening embarrassment against the USA in a cacophony of loud, continuous pain. Which was the perfect metaphor for the stilted and predictable England performance which would have duly provided a 1-0 win had Green not succumbed to a mistake that puts him in happy company with Carson, Robinson and Seaman.

The cup on the whole has been a let down though, a fearful trepidation gripping the majority of big teams leaving their strike forces impotent and nets unwavered. Germany fought this though with a stonking win over the Aussies, 4-0 barely covered the free-flowing attacking football they were playing. It was mesmerising stuff that Argentina, Spain and Holland hinted at but with less finishing prowess. The games have still been great fun though; North Korea surprising us all with a spirited display, New Zealand with a dramatic equalizer, Japan and South Korea both earning good victories being highlights. The less said about Slovenia v Algeria though the better. Anyway, we stand on the cusp of improvement. Forlan dragged Uruguay into a deserved win over the Bafana Bafana tonight promising a few more goals than we've had so far. Here's hoping anyway as having watched every game so far I think I deserve a bit of gratuitous net bulging.

World Cup Excitement

It's finally here. Four years is a long time. Especially with no English involvement in the 2008 Euro Championships to help stave off the boredom. But at least now, with two days to go, we can unleash all that English pride and bravado we do so well at hiding away. Although this year most people seem to be starting their predictions with the word "realistically". Which makes a change from blaring out The Lightning Seeds and blindly chanting the affectionate nicknames of our nation's finest. But could this be because we stand a better chance now than we ever have before?

Probably not. These days getting to see the likes of Torres, Anelka and Fabregas strut their stuff in the Premiership means we're more familiar with the world's greatest than ever. We're also hardly unfamiliar with the likes of Messi and Ronaldo in Spain thanks to the Champions League as well. Which means that we have even more reason to do the truely English gesture of being pessimistic from the onset. I wouldn't rule us out, but our knack to capitulate in big tournaments is an outcome more likely than the consistency required to go all the way. A few predictions then, hopefully more successful than my Glasto ones.

Winners: Brazil
Runners-up: Argentina
Third: Italy
Fourth: England (felt very optimistic saying we'd beat France though)

Golden Boot: Van Persie
Silver Boot: Luis Fabiano (covering my bases really with that one)

Surprises:
North Korea won't be shit
Japan and South Korea will prosper through organisation alone
All of the big teams will qualify top of their group

Let downs:
Spain and Holland will both capitulate after amazing starts
African nations will disappoint, Ivory Coast especially
England will go out in the semis/quarters in extra time

Outside bet for winning: Holland
Outside bet for performing well: Serbia/Slovenia/North Korea

Undoubtedly all these will be proved wrong come the end of the tournament.

Singles Review

Probably worth saying that I don't actually buy singles. In fact the only CD I've bought in the last year is Flying Lotus. Only bought Future Of The Left last year as well. Downloads (legal of course) are the format of choice these days. This is more a summary of the four tracks that have been sending those crazy cats over on Hype Machine wild. You know, those tossers who have Pitchfork as their homepage.

First up is Klaxons with Flashover. First thing you notice is how dirty it sounds, like they've spent their entire time playing in the mud as opposed to honing their sound. It's not too much of a departure from their usual shtick but that's in no way a bad thing. Solid opening. 8/10

Kanye is also back with his first song since Gay Fish with newie Power. It's got a big beat to it that almost harks back to Jesus Walks. More than anything there's not a hint of that horrible T-Pain esque auto tune that was all his last album seemed to amount to. The lyrics are the usual "Kanye is amazing" stuff, but that's probably what we love him for. 7/10

Most excitingly really is Papermill from Madvillian's long awaited second album. The beat is amazing, the perfect evolution from the 50's comic book aping debut. The mixing of DOOM's rap however, is less good riding much to high and making him sound lazy and almost uninterested in the going's on. Undoubtedly Madlib will be layering on the polish before this one hits though. Optimism still at a maximum. 6/10

Finally (the) Arcade Fire have returned with the bewilderingly uplifting Suburbs. It opens like the long lost cousin of The National's So Far Around The Bend and pretty much continues in that vein. A nice catchy chorus saves the day on this one, hinting at a more pop orientated sound for the new album. But this is the Arcade Fire so they could have recorded them weeping into an accordion for 45 minutes for all we know. 9.6 on Pitchfork probably then. 7/10

U2 Pull Out Of Glastonbury

A big hoo-hah was made earlier this year when the Eavis' confirmed U2 for the Friday night headline slot. Initial fears suggested that they would just belt out the same old songs on a smaller, less ostentatiously ridiculous stage. However, this week saw our worst fears confirmed when Bono had to pull out after having emergency spinal surgery. Even if you don't like Bono (proportionately speaking you probably don't), you can't help but wince at the thought of it. So whilst Bono lies in bed, surrounded by piles of money and sunglasses and weeping himself to painful slumber thinking about all the good deeds he's not being able to do, we're left with a void that needs to be filled. Obviously not a precise void. I can't see the auditions for a "smug, sunglasses adorned know it all", "hat wearing, pedal obsessed, name changing cock" and "other two" being necessary. Rumours are rife and varied, much like the pre-festival speculation. The favourite is obviously Chris Martin riding in on his middling, strumming Coldplay stallion. You can picture him running, twirling, leaping on to stage as a surprise act only to be stopped in his tracks by the audible noise of an entire festival deflating. 6 Music reported on Led Zep stepping up, although that's unlikely as is the many people I've seen crow out for The Libertines. One thing I'm glad I'm missing at Reading this year is watching them trying to fill a stadium on glory's past and forgotten. They were good, but they weren't The Strokes. There's also the long shots of Dylan, Bowie, Radiohead and even The Smiths but a lot of hope will be needed for them to come true. Best familiarize yourself with Viva La Vida then. They're not that bad really....

Flaming Lips are on the Other Stage you know.

EDIT: Literally minutes later Gorillaz are confirmed as the replacement. Glad to be wrong for a change!

The Walking Dead & Luther

So before I watch Scanners on the iPlayer (yeah it's that kind of day) I thought I'd reminisce about the last week or so which I've mainly spent re-reading The Walking Dead comics. I'm not a big comic book fan but this series has sunk it's claws into me. Not too much though, I only buy the hardback editions and only then when I have the money/remember I have the money/kid myself that I do have the money. I delved back in last week because my copy of the third book recently arrived and the fourth should soon (if it doesn't I'm in trouble because I'm moving house next week). The premise is simple in that it's the same as every zombie movie/book/game you've encountered. The twist, however, is that the story "never ends". Which from a writer's perspective is money in the bank. At first you might snidely point out clichés and inspirations (the main character waking up in a hospital is not exactly original) in it, but you slowly warm to it as the characters grow in front of you and the story slowly propels them forward. It's primarily about the people and the effects on them. The zombies are only a factor in this. Of course, add in bountiful swearing, violence and all kinds of wrongs (there's several scenes in the third book that are not for the faint hearted) and you've got an addictive and enthralling piece of literature. Hopefully my fourth book will arrive tomorrow, so I can sit in the garden and read it in the sun with a glass of iced beer. But then it'll be the wait for coins for the fifth book which isn't due until May 31st. Sad times.

In between perching and scouring through graphic novels I've sat down with Stringer Bell's foray into BBC crime solving. It's no Wallander that's for sure. No lingering shots of countryside, story threads of parental illness or (probably most unfortunately of all) funny Swedish names. Luther is set in Laaandaan, or I believe it's safe to assume this from his boss' ripe accent. Anyway, he accidentally puts a paedo in a coma and goes off work for a while before returning to his job straight in to a case of a stunningly attractive mental case murderer with his marriage and mental health falling down around him. It's one of those shows that's clearly too bombastic but yet is still strangely enjoyable. The support are good barring his little runt partner who has played a prick in some BBC Three Two Pints spin off. A crime that cannot be forgiven. The first two episodes are an entertaining yarn and hopefully they shall continue in this vein. Suspension of belief required obviously though.