Various Grammatical Errors

Films 2010

2010-12-24T19:57:00.000Z

Lastly some films. Probably the hardest to put together as well.

1) The Social Network

2) Inception

3) Toy Story 3

4) Monsters

5) Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

6) Kick-Ass

7) Four Lions

8) How To Train Your Dragon

9) The Illusionist

10) Shutter Island

Music 2010

2010-12-21T20:52:00.002Z

As ever I started the year trying to listen to as many albums as possible and ended it with 100's of plays of the same ones. Number one was hands down this year though and I won't hear anything else otherwise.

Top 10 Albums

1) Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma

2) The National - High Violet

3) Frightened Rabbit - The Winter Of Mixed Drinks

4) Four Tet - There Is Love In You

5) Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

6) LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening

7) Gold Panda - Lucky Shiner

8) Caribou - Swim

9) Foals - Total Life Forever

10) Warpaint - The Fool

Honourable Mentions

Laura Marling - I Speak Because I Can

Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Hot Chip - One Life Stand

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

A Few Disappointments

M.I.A - MAYA

Klaxons - Surfing The Void

Kate Nash - My Best Friend Is You

Vampire Weekend - Contra

Zola Jesus - Stridulum II

Top 10 Tracks

1) Flying Lotus - Do The Astral Plane

2) Frightened Rabbit - The Loneliness And The Scream

3) The National - Terrible Love

4) Gold Panda - You (Album Closer)

5) Flying Lotus - Kill Your Co-Workers

6) Hans Zimmer - Dream Is Collapsing

7) M.I.A - Born Free

8) Daft Punk - Derezzed

9) The Gaslamp Killer - Carpool Dummy

10) Foals - This Orient

Games 2010

2010-12-21T20:20:00.002Z

2010 has been a pretty strong year for the industry as a whole. Black Ops has made over £1 billion, Microsoft and Sony have made us the controller and Blizzard only went and released Starcraft 2 and a WoW expansion in the same year. Still got a few games to get through (AC:Brotherhood, Singularity, Rock Band 3, Need For Speed, Vanquish, Fable 3 and New Vegas a few who have slipped through the net thus far) but, hey, I'm not made of money. So here's a few top fives.

Top 5 360

1) Red Dead Redemption

2) Alan Wake

3) Just Cause 2

4) Mass Effect 2

5) Fifa 11

Top 5 XBLA

1) Limbo

2) Super Meat Boy

3) Worms 2

4) Sonic 4 Episode 1

5) Lara Croft: GOL

A Few Disappointments

Black Ops

Alien Vs Predator

Halo Reach

Splinter Cell: Conviction

Scott Pilgrim: The Game

Honourable Mentions

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver

Football Manager 2011

Flight Control HD

Split/Second

Bioshock 2

Dead Rising 2

Now I've got a current gen PC, I might be able to expand my horizons in 2011. Still no PS3 or Wii though.

Quick Rant

2010-12-10T15:03:00.003Z

Quick rant. The dust is starting to settle on the recent events up in Tyneside and yet it still makes little to no sense. Chris Hughton gets sacked after a run of 5 games without a win. On paper it seems logical. Given it's Newcastle as well it seems very logical, well for them. But yet this is the first sacking at the club for a long time that has left me bemused, upset and downright angry with the the blatant short-sightedness of the club and it's owner.

This time two years ago Newcastle were an absolute state. In fact this time 18 months ago we were a complete mess. To take us from the relegation joke team to being back in the Premiership and shipping 5 one week and scoring 5 the next is an achievement. We're not the Newcastle of yesteryear, but we're certainly playing with the same excitement and inconsistency of it. This is the reason you love the team as a fan. Seeing us get hammered by West Brom is depressing and as upsetting as it gets, but not two months ago we smashes Sunderland so hard I almost got in a fight watching it for just wearing a Newcastle shirt. As a fan, this year has been brilliant, I couldn't have asked for more.

But yet no we're faced with Pardew, a man so bland you forget his face every moment you're not looking at it. He's also signed a 5 and a half year deal which really shows how much of a joke this whole situation is. I will be amazed if he makes it to the end of the season. Which is what brings me to the overall focus of my ire. Ashley has managed this club worse than the Americans do their secrets. Just one mess after another. Like an elderly dog with the shits we continually stumble through the footballing calender emptying our bowels in a fit of embarrassment at the slightest opportunity. There is literally no logic behind this move given he's trying to sell the club. Not even the most naive of Saudi business men would purchase a club with that dead weight strapped to the front for 5 and a half years.

We'll see how we do on Saturday against the previous "biggest joke in the Premiership team" Liverpool. He'll need a lot more than a result there to prove his worth though.

Holidays In The Sun

2010-11-23T16:13:00.004Z

So I've been away for a while. Been busy you could say. Although you probably shouldn't. I've changed up a lot of things, grown as a person. Mainly outwardly though to be honest. Still, I've learnt a lot along the way. Here's a small list of the most important.

1.) Most problems can be solved by not doing much. I found myself in debt, adrift and on the verge of spending my days watching Jeremy Kyle and weeping into a bowl of Cornflakes. However, an afternoon spent making CV's and then one handing them in later I found myself employed (twice over in fact) and then, through a few extra forms, enrolled at the OU. Debt crisis was averted through ignoring phone calls then agreeing to pay off some every month with my freshly earned pay cheques. And voila, future sorted. I always complain about being unlucky, but green was certain rubbed in my favour on this one.

2) I am wrong about almost everything. Living with more than 0 people that I talk to every day leads to discussions about many things; music, politics, how to deal with the sexual advances of Stephen Fry. However, blindly arguing about things you don't understand doesn't always win the day. For example, not the other day, I was discussing about how I hate Twitter. To me it seems like it's a venue for people to bum celebrities and post one liners of middling quality. Yet, even when it's just used in that manner, it's extremely fun. Yet another example of my hypocrisy.

3) Not everyone enjoys films because they're shit. Exaggeration is a disease we all suffer from time to time. Yet, claiming Deja Vu or Domino (or possibly all of the Tony Scott canon) are brilliant because of their dizzying level of shitness is a misfire of larger proportions. Glasses that see into the past. Come on Denzel.

And finally.

SFC, the king of hungover food.

The best Christmas song sounds like a Hungarian wedding.

Newcastle are unpredictable no matter what league they're in.

Having two jobs makes it a lot easier to enjoy one a lot more than other.

Studying something you're vaguely interested in makes it a lot easier to read the textbooks.

Limbo

2010-08-01T20:28:00.003+01:00

Last year's Arcade of Summer, Summer of Arcade or whatever it was called gifted us the wonderful Trials HD and Shadow Complex to name but two. This year's premier offering is something a little more, shall we say, pretentious. Limbo is the visually striking tale of a boy's lone journey in to "Limbo" (in speech marks thanks to now being abolished) and basically, that's it. Of course, it being an XBLA title such pointless attachments as plot, voice-acting, tacked on multiplayer are all left aside, leaving you with a touching, un-nerving trip which will induce delight, puzzlement and anger all in equal measure. These are the signs of what make it great though, the satisfaction of solving another devilish complexity massively outweighs the crippling sadness of repeating the same failing attempt at progression. Prepare a slot on your end of year lists.

In other gaming news: RDR. Got a donkey. Did lots of missions. Bonded. Named it Juliet. Watched in vain as it got shot by Mexicans. Too devastated to play again. Wonderful game.

Inception

2010-07-20T23:24:00.004+01:00

It's very rare that you can go to the cinema and see something that has the financial backing the same size as the budget deficit but isn't about moping vampires or fighting robots. Inception is not like anything you'll see at the cinema this year. Unless you deliberately go to an art cinema to watch an obscure foreign film just to say otherwise. But then you'd be a pretentious shit. So swings and roundabouts. The lead up to this film was very hush hush and with good reason. It's hard to explain what happens without it sounding like a confusing mess. But basically, it's a film about people who trained to steal information and ideas from peoples dreams who take up the oppertunity to place an idea in someone's head through "inception". It's essentially a heist movie. He gets the job offer, assembles a team, starts the heist. You know the rest.

It's so much more than that though. The outlandish setting keeps you on your toes the whole time. Not to mention that the visuals are stunning, some of the best I have ever seen. Suffice to say that the scenes from the trailer are even more mind-blowing at the multiplex. The script, whilst a little wordy, keeps the balance of complex and engaging and Di Caprio leads with a great performance, with the rest of the cast not too far behind. But overall it's the perfect cinema experience, the perfect to retort to whether Avatar is the future of cinema. It doesn't have to be, we just need more big budget, big idea masterpieces like this. In a word stunning.

Red Dead Redemption

2010-07-18T23:47:00.001+01:00

It's funny how you can instantly fall in love with a game for the the poorest reasons. Like being able to name your rival "Tosser" in the Pokemon games and then laugh hysterically every time you run in to him on the SS Anne. Or that in the latest FIFA game you scan a photo of your face in with a ridiculous glitter Hitler moustache and watch yourself do cartwheels with a silvery upper lip every time you score. As they say, it's the little things. In Red Dead Redemption you can shoot animals, skin them, and then sell said skin for a small profit. On paper it's dull. In practice it's probably also quite dull. However I've spent 3 of my first four hours playtime doing it. Painfully addictive. I haven't even found a bear yet. I'll never do anything else if I find one. For me it proves the level of immersion this game offers. GTA IV suffered from a slightly stilted and familiar setting. We've been stealing yellow cabs for ten years now in various guises. RDR opens up the world of the Western to a new generation and feels very fresh in comparison. The greatest test will of course be whether I can now buy and wear a pair of cowboy boots without being socially outcast. The proof will be in the freshly skinned carcass no doubt.

World Cup

2010-07-04T11:47:00.003+01:00

A lot has gone on since my inaugural declaration of disappointment in the tournament. Firstly then, England. In many ways it was no different at all, watching Heskey running on in the 70th odd minute to save the game is a sadly familiar sight to us all. Yet the pain of it all still rests high on the shoulders. It's easy to sit and point the blame at the under-performing players; Rooney, Lampard (as ever), Terry, Johnson. But my real bugbear was Capello's unwillingness to change it up at all. It's a World Cup after all, you can't put your best players out and the rub your hands as the magic happens. But, the stern Italian is staying and will hopefully realise a lot of the horses in this team need to go out to pasture.

Luckily for us though this World Cup's middle name has been capitulation. France were more farcical than even the most optimistic of alliterative writers. Italy played as much exciting football as the Sam Allardyce dream league and then there's the likes of Ivory Coast, Cameroon and South Africa all doing wonders for Pele's predictions of greatness for African football. But even with these let-downs it's been a great ride. Germany's demolitions of both England and Argentina were as ruthless as stereotypes would suggest and point to a horrid time for sluggish Spain in the semis. The rise of outsiders Uruguay have brought much joy to many disgruntled English fans like myself but it's Holland that are my favourite though. I've always had a soft spot for the neon orange of the Dutch. The return of Robben has sparked them into life and an unfathomable win over everyone's tip Brazil. Should they beat underdogs Uruguay in the semis we'll be left with a head says Germany and heart says Holland final of epic proportions. Who ever said football wasn't exciting?

Trials HD

2010-06-19T01:56:00.003+01:00

It's not just been football for the past week, there's a clearout going on over on the Xbox Live Arcade. I've snapped up three in total; 'splosion Man, Zombie Apocalypse and Trials HD. The third of which has engrossed me the most. Trials is simple in it's design. Accelerate, brake, lean forward and lean back. That's all you need to know. Well that and the instant restart button (B) or even level restart if you're going for medals (back button). The aim is equally plain: get to the end of the course. That's it. But what sounds like a shallow experience confounds to be completely rewarding. The levels slowly increase in complexity, requiring precise accuracy and timing. This obviously leads to moments of screaming frustration but those depths are overcome by the dizzying heights of passing the section. The instant restart button (which if you're anything like me will have your finger constantly hovering over it) will become your best friend and has no loading to prevent added frustration. Trials just nails that rare balance of frightfully challenging gameplay and disturbingly addictive playability meaning that you will easily sink up to 45 minutes on one section without realising you've made 400 failed attempts. It's been lorded everywhere as one of the best on XBLA and for me it easily is up there and for 560 points it's a steal.

Prose

2010-06-18T21:38:00.003+01:00

He stares mournfully out the window, rain dashing against the pane creating a somewhat fitting cliché. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders forcing his head to lull below them. He turns his back to the room, barely lit by the dimmed bulb in the corner, and walks to the table. In front rests the source of his woes, a culmination of toil and despair. His hand rattles with trepidation as it reaches for the pen, his heart says no but his head says yes. The teeth grit, the muscles tense, the beads of sweat form on his brow as the pen is lowered to the page. It's done. He stands and turns to the window, turning his back on his actions. As a solitary tear runs down his face the "England 0-0 Algeria" scoreline on the wall-chart flickers in the lamplight.

World Cup First Round (Of Matches)

2010-06-16T22:10:00.004+01:00

It's all gone so fast hasn't it? Been a flurry of misplaced passes, hoofing clearances, spooned free-kicks and BEES, FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE oh wait no it's vuvuzelas. Last year I remember texting in to the BBC text coverage of the Confederations Cup saying the vuvuzelas were annoying "but beats the England Supporters Band". How lucky we were then that they joyously combined in England's opening embarrassment against the USA in a cacophony of loud, continuous pain. Which was the perfect metaphor for the stilted and predictable England performance which would have duly provided a 1-0 win had Green not succumbed to a mistake that puts him in happy company with Carson, Robinson and Seaman.

The cup on the whole has been a let down though, a fearful trepidation gripping the majority of big teams leaving their strike forces impotent and nets unwavered. Germany fought this though with a stonking win over the Aussies, 4-0 barely covered the free-flowing attacking football they were playing. It was mesmerising stuff that Argentina, Spain and Holland hinted at but with less finishing prowess. The games have still been great fun though; North Korea surprising us all with a spirited display, New Zealand with a dramatic equalizer, Japan and South Korea both earning good victories being highlights. The less said about Slovenia v Algeria though the better. Anyway, we stand on the cusp of improvement. Forlan dragged Uruguay into a deserved win over the Bafana Bafana tonight promising a few more goals than we've had so far. Here's hoping anyway as having watched every game so far I think I deserve a bit of gratuitous net bulging.

World Cup Excitement

2010-06-09T05:07:00.003+01:00

It's finally here. Four years is a long time. Especially with no English involvement in the 2008 Euro Championships to help stave off the boredom. But at least now, with two days to go, we can unleash all that English pride and bravado we do so well at hiding away. Although this year most people seem to be starting their predictions with the word "realistically". Which makes a change from blaring out The Lightning Seeds and blindly chanting the affectionate nicknames of our nation's finest. But could this be because we stand a better chance now than we ever have before?

Probably not. These days getting to see the likes of Torres, Anelka and Fabregas strut their stuff in the Premiership means we're more familiar with the world's greatest than ever. We're also hardly unfamiliar with the likes of Messi and Ronaldo in Spain thanks to the Champions League as well. Which means that we have even more reason to do the truely English gesture of being pessimistic from the onset. I wouldn't rule us out, but our knack to capitulate in big tournaments is an outcome more likely than the consistency required to go all the way. A few predictions then, hopefully more successful than my Glasto ones.

Winners: Brazil
Runners-up: Argentina
Third: Italy
Fourth: England (felt very optimistic saying we'd beat France though)

Golden Boot: Van Persie
Silver Boot: Luis Fabiano (covering my bases really with that one)

Surprises:
North Korea won't be shit
Japan and South Korea will prosper through organisation alone
All of the big teams will qualify top of their group

Let downs:
Spain and Holland will both capitulate after amazing starts
African nations will disappoint, Ivory Coast especially
England will go out in the semis/quarters in extra time

Outside bet for winning: Holland
Outside bet for performing well: Serbia/Slovenia/North Korea

Undoubtedly all these will be proved wrong come the end of the tournament.

Singles Review

2010-05-29T19:40:00.003+01:00

Probably worth saying that I don't actually buy singles. In fact the only CD I've bought in the last year is Flying Lotus. Only bought Future Of The Left last year as well. Downloads (legal of course) are the format of choice these days. This is more a summary of the four tracks that have been sending those crazy cats over on Hype Machine wild. You know, those tossers who have Pitchfork as their homepage.

First up is Klaxons with Flashover. First thing you notice is how dirty it sounds, like they've spent their entire time playing in the mud as opposed to honing their sound. It's not too much of a departure from their usual shtick but that's in no way a bad thing. Solid opening. 8/10

Kanye is also back with his first song since Gay Fish with newie Power. It's got a big beat to it that almost harks back to Jesus Walks. More than anything there's not a hint of that horrible T-Pain esque auto tune that was all his last album seemed to amount to. The lyrics are the usual "Kanye is amazing" stuff, but that's probably what we love him for. 7/10

Most excitingly really is Papermill from Madvillian's long awaited second album. The beat is amazing, the perfect evolution from the 50's comic book aping debut. The mixing of DOOM's rap however, is less good riding much to high and making him sound lazy and almost uninterested in the going's on. Undoubtedly Madlib will be layering on the polish before this one hits though. Optimism still at a maximum. 6/10

Finally (the) Arcade Fire have returned with the bewilderingly uplifting Suburbs. It opens like the long lost cousin of The National's So Far Around The Bend and pretty much continues in that vein. A nice catchy chorus saves the day on this one, hinting at a more pop orientated sound for the new album. But this is the Arcade Fire so they could have recorded them weeping into an accordion for 45 minutes for all we know. 9.6 on Pitchfork probably then. 7/10

U2 Pull Out Of Glastonbury

2010-05-26T13:56:00.006+01:00

A big hoo-hah was made earlier this year when the Eavis' confirmed U2 for the Friday night headline slot. Initial fears suggested that they would just belt out the same old songs on a smaller, less ostentatiously ridiculous stage. However, this week saw our worst fears confirmed when Bono had to pull out after having emergency spinal surgery. Even if you don't like Bono (proportionately speaking you probably don't), you can't help but wince at the thought of it. So whilst Bono lies in bed, surrounded by piles of money and sunglasses and weeping himself to painful slumber thinking about all the good deeds he's not being able to do, we're left with a void that needs to be filled. Obviously not a precise void. I can't see the auditions for a "smug, sunglasses adorned know it all", "hat wearing, pedal obsessed, name changing cock" and "other two" being necessary. Rumours are rife and varied, much like the pre-festival speculation. The favourite is obviously Chris Martin riding in on his middling, strumming Coldplay stallion. You can picture him running, twirling, leaping on to stage as a surprise act only to be stopped in his tracks by the audible noise of an entire festival deflating. 6 Music reported on Led Zep stepping up, although that's unlikely as is the many people I've seen crow out for The Libertines. One thing I'm glad I'm missing at Reading this year is watching them trying to fill a stadium on glory's past and forgotten. They were good, but they weren't The Strokes. There's also the long shots of Dylan, Bowie, Radiohead and even The Smiths but a lot of hope will be needed for them to come true. Best familiarize yourself with Viva La Vida then. They're not that bad really....

Flaming Lips are on the Other Stage you know.

EDIT: Literally minutes later Gorillaz are confirmed as the replacement. Glad to be wrong for a change!

The Walking Dead & Luther

2010-05-18T22:03:00.003+01:00

So before I watch Scanners on the iPlayer (yeah it's that kind of day) I thought I'd reminisce about the last week or so which I've mainly spent re-reading The Walking Dead comics. I'm not a big comic book fan but this series has sunk it's claws into me. Not too much though, I only buy the hardback editions and only then when I have the money/remember I have the money/kid myself that I do have the money. I delved back in last week because my copy of the third book recently arrived and the fourth should soon (if it doesn't I'm in trouble because I'm moving house next week). The premise is simple in that it's the same as every zombie movie/book/game you've encountered. The twist, however, is that the story "never ends". Which from a writer's perspective is money in the bank. At first you might snidely point out clichés and inspirations (the main character waking up in a hospital is not exactly original) in it, but you slowly warm to it as the characters grow in front of you and the story slowly propels them forward. It's primarily about the people and the effects on them. The zombies are only a factor in this. Of course, add in bountiful swearing, violence and all kinds of wrongs (there's several scenes in the third book that are not for the faint hearted) and you've got an addictive and enthralling piece of literature. Hopefully my fourth book will arrive tomorrow, so I can sit in the garden and read it in the sun with a glass of iced beer. But then it'll be the wait for coins for the fifth book which isn't due until May 31st. Sad times.

In between perching and scouring through graphic novels I've sat down with Stringer Bell's foray into BBC crime solving. It's no Wallander that's for sure. No lingering shots of countryside, story threads of parental illness or (probably most unfortunately of all) funny Swedish names. Luther is set in Laaandaan, or I believe it's safe to assume this from his boss' ripe accent. Anyway, he accidentally puts a paedo in a coma and goes off work for a while before returning to his job straight in to a case of a stunningly attractive mental case murderer with his marriage and mental health falling down around him. It's one of those shows that's clearly too bombastic but yet is still strangely enjoyable. The support are good barring his little runt partner who has played a prick in some BBC Three Two Pints spin off. A crime that cannot be forgiven. The first two episodes are an entertaining yarn and hopefully they shall continue in this vein. Suspension of belief required obviously though.

Cameron, Chelski & C...Fulham

2010-05-12T00:57:00.008+01:00

Although they probably went about encouraging it in the wrong the way I think young people have become more involved in this election than those of years before. This frankly upsetting video (which Charlie Brooker claims was genuinely produced for this) aside of course. A straw poll of Facebook reactions show this is true, at least amongst my brethren. People were chirping left, right, and (most commonly) centre right about their thoughts and feelings on the candidates. Personally I can't help but feel aggrieved about Cameron's claiming of the crown though. The Tories are renowned for their loathing of the poor and hatred of all things free and equal (BBC, NHS). Yet through a campaign of full frontal nonsense they've squeezed into power like Dawn French clambering into a morph suit. You can't help but feel disillusioned when their obvious and shameful tactics (funded by a man who is so uniformly evil he eats children just for thrill of it) secured them the passageway to destroying a country that is already on the brink of collapse. But then again, given the shit-storm Labour have sat through for the last few years you can't blame everyone for their shortsightedness.

In many ways Chelsea's title win is the perfect metaphor for this. Whilst we revel in the glory of Man United being dethroned we're still celebrating the victory of a team that have bought their way to success with none of their winning squad coming from the youth ranks or even the lower leagues. At least they had the good grace to win it in a romping style though. For that I can commend them. Which leaves us with the only light at the end of the tunnel right now, good ol' Roy and his worthy bunch. I do hope they put in a good showing, it wouldn't half cheer the country right up. Whatever happens though, Fulham have been an inspiration this season and deserve their moment in the spotlight tomorrow more than any other English team.

Cameron's March To The Apocalypse

2010-05-09T01:14:00.006+01:00

So Thursday was the General Election that we've all been waiting for. The bloke on the left has been especially looking forward to it, rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of waltzing into Number 10 on that hallowed Friday after a brief jolly round after the foxes. Unfortunately for him we have a hung parliament instead which means that although the majority of the county liked his smug, posh cake hole there wasn't enough seats in the colour of blue for a full majority. I stayed up to watch this spectacle unfold. Worse than that, I sobered up watching this spectacle unfold. Not a sobering in terms of political disillusionment, a genuine alcohol recovery. This was due to the fact that I got locked out, went to the pub to wait for a house-mate to get back and ended up starting an all night binge because I got too involved in the 20/20 cricket. Good game is was too. Anyway, I got back about 1ish and watched the BBC coverage which was seemingly broadcast from some kind of extravagant James Bond-esque lair. Things got worse than that though. The slightly frantic coverage would skip between a variety of seemingly strange events. Firstly Jeremy Vine has taken the "Swingometer" to a new level and entered the world of Tron with PS1 graphics. Scenarios where he's climbing stairs to compare vote share tallys beg the question "how did they do that?" but also (and more appropriately) "why?". Then there's the horrifying moment where Dimbleby would utter "and now over to Andrew on the boat". Andrew is a man with a wig that defies comprehension and array of guests and dull chatter that make you reach for the shotgun. All the stars were there, from Kirsty Alsopp to Bruce Forsyth. There was the grilling of Lord Ashcroft to brighten things up though which in many ways felt like an alternate more subdued finale of The Devil's Advocate. The man practically drips evil. No wonder he lives abroad, probably found somewhere he can drink the blood of virgins unnoticed. On the whole though there just wasn't enough of Paxman yelling at the video screen like a demented villain making his demands. Those moments were just priceless. Anyway, we've now got a few days to see if Clegg fancies a bedfellow or if we're going to be back down the village hall again. Either way lets enjoy these few days where we technically have no government.

Halo Reach, Humble Bundle and more Pokémon

2010-05-04T20:05:00.003+01:00

So last night saw the meticulously well planned, hushed, almost understated launch of the Halo Reach beta. I of course talk in jest. It was horrible. Well, not horrible. Just painfully dull. Took me about 3-4 hours to successfully download the beta which left me almost too embarrassed to play it having spent so long staring at a 99% completion bar. I did of course play it though and to my great delight (read tearful disappointment) I played about four round of Oddball in a row. Which just turned into manic re-spawn, shoot, pick up ball, die, re-spawn, etc. I was frightfully underwhelmed. I went back today though, more out of blind optimism than anything, and was greatly surprised at how much more fun it was than the night before. A few games of the new four on four slayer mode are the reason. I'm still yet to get to grips truly with the new armour add-ons though. The jet-pack is fun, useful and seamless in it's integration into the Halo fold. The invincibility punch thing is good when you know what you're doing. Sprint is sprint and I haven't fiddled with invisibility yet. Been on the receiving end of all of them though, so there must be a good use for them all. I'll delve back in at some point as it's only on for two weeks or so anyway.

Found a decent deal as well today. 5 indie games on a pay what you like scheme found here. The games in question are World Of Goo (which I already own and love) and four others I'm not familiar with (Aquaria, Gish, Lugaru HD, Penumbra). They seem to be broad in genres and graphical styles but when you're paying what you like I guess complaints aren't something you can have. Finally on the Pokémon front things are looking good. Got 7 badges now and a squad of relative quality. Found some other new features, namely some bizarre arena where you complete athletics challenges with your Pokémon via the stylus and much screen stroking. Hmmmm. Good job it's still a quality Pokémon game then.

Pokémon

2010-05-02T18:00:00.003+01:00

Pokémon will always hold a place in my affections. It was my first love really, before women, alcohol and other more alluring prospects came about. I'm ashamed to say I've owned pretty much every Gameboy iteration of Pokémon at some point. Including Pinball and the Trading Card Game one. So, under the guise of peer of pressure from a friend, I've bought the new one. Soul Silver to be exact. Not quite sure why they've been named Soul Silver and Heart Gold. Just sounds a bit shit really. But then again this from the company that named their world conquering console the "Wii" so titling their products obviously isn't the highest thing on the agenda. Anyway, the games are a re-skin of fan favourites Gold and Silver with a few bells and whistles. The shiniest of these is a Pokéwalker which lets you wander round with your favourite little beast while catching Pokémon and getting items. However I found that I could never find an item in the mini game and Pidgeys would be all I could find Pokémon wise. So, pointless then I guess. The game itself though is still as glorious as ever. I've just got to the third Gym city (Goldenrod) so plenty left to do for me. Puzzles have been rejigged and few other things tweaked from what I remember but nothing that's mind-blowing as yet. The highlight is still probably giving your little beasts "hilarious" names. Was worth digging my DS out for the first time in a year anyway. Although if I could find that copy of Zoo Keeper I'd use it a whole lot more.

Also got my copy of Cosmogramma delivered a few days early, which was nice. Pretty much the same as the leak but without the hassle of the tracks being out of order and labeled incorrectly. It's certainly growing on me a lot more now than when I first got it. Not as much as High Violet by The National is though. I can't seem to stop listening to it. Also got Jason and The Argonauts and the original Clash Of The Titans delivered as well. Can't beat a bit of Harryhausen.

Bit O' Footie

2010-04-29T01:54:00.002+01:00

I know, I can't believe it either. How can the biggest match of the year be so painfully dull. It was like watching Bolton against the Bolton reserves at times. Possibly the dullest European match I've seen since the equally dull first leg of Bayern v Lyon. But somehow he did it. Jose "The Messiah" Mourinho performed that radical measure of parking the bus in front of the goal for 90 minutes. I'm sure they'll be a lot of hyperbole about how great of a coup it was and that but at the end of the day he did what 95% of us would do in Football Manager. Only in Football Manager you'd end up conceding the full quotient of 2 goals Barca needed at the end as opposed to the one they got. But Football Manager famously hates you as much as you love it. The cruel bitch it is. Barca's goal was good however, Pique turning and shooting with more nous than poor old Ibrahimovic showed in his rather stale outing. But, on the whole, Barca were poor and resorted too often to Arsenal-esque shooting from distance or aimless passing midway in Inter's half. That was when they got the chance to play of course. Inter were going down more often than a granny on the ice as they say. So now we're left with an Inter v Bayern final. Something no-one predicted. Or to be fair, probably wanted. Lets just hope Inter resist stroking faces and play without their entire team in their own penalty area and that Bayern are less shit than they probably will be. They won't be though. Inter will score two early goals and Robben will score a cracking consolation late on. Get that one down at Ladbrokes while the odds are still good.

Also, Fulham and Liverpool are both in action tomorrow. Good luck to the Londoners, as everyone else will be saying. We all want Fulham to win. World Cup aside seeing a teary Hodgson lift the Euro Mug would be the touching football moment of the year. Apart from Neville and Scholes' erotic interlude not long ago. Best not to dwell on that though. Liverpool will probably win as well. Either a 4-0 "not as good as the scoreline suggests" romp or a 2-0 "thanks to Stevie's Exorcist penalty dive" borefest. Either way, doubt anyone gives a shit about them.

Work, Work, Work

2010-04-27T21:44:00.004+01:00

Awwww. Still, he's not that cute to me right now as I puzzle in my mind how to shit out a conservation plan for the little bastard. Or something like that, I barely understand what I'm meant to be doing really. Oh well, I'll pull something gleaming from my currently blocked creative sphincter most likely. Well hopefully. While I've toiled in front of various facts and figures of this tiny rodent I've managed to procrastinate to a degree even beyond my usual standards. Three loads of washing, three trips to town and even a quick game of Left Dead 2 (read 2 hour slog through Dead Centre with much cursing and frustration thanks to being pole-axed by a tank on at least 4 occasions). Been some bonuses though, apart from finally buying that cursed aux cable to reconnect my speakers. Watched Bunny and The Bull which is a feature film by Paul King who is most famed for directing The Mighty Boosh. While the Boosh became crushed under it's own popularity and Noel Fielding's penchant for things that are shiny or Class A's this film came out under a cloud of nonchalance and disinterest. Well it did for me anyway. Watching it I can see why it didn't set the world alight, mainly thanks to the great credit it clearly owes Gondry for a lot of the DIY aesthetic of the film. It's a grower though; takes a while for the film to seep into you and for the first 45 minutes it's quite tempting to switch off. But it's worth staying with, at least for the two Boosh cameos which are probably one of the highlights of the film. So basically if you loved the style of Science Of Sleep you'll probably like this. Or won't because it rips it off. Whatever, that's all I've got. Anyway, dormice.

Leak Madness & A Bit Of Gaming Stuff

2010-04-20T23:59:00.004+01:00

I decided to wean myself off leaks and illegal downloads in general this year after Mandelson decided to go all 1984 on us with the Digital Piracy Bill or whatever it was called. However, certain temptations can crumble even the strongest of men. The National's newie was the first that got me yesterday and it's an absolute blinder. Apart from opener Terrible Love which after getting extremely excited about that version I was left somewhat underwhelmed by a more stripped back studio version. I should have learnt after falling in love with this early live version of Radiohead's Videotape only to be left with a subtle almost acoustic studio version. Still think if both went big it would have been better. Size matters as they say. Anyway, the rest of the album is beyond brilliant. By far the best thing I've heard this year and that includes the LCD, Flylo and Foals (who also got me yesterday!) leaks. Already forked out for a Flylo pre-order and will probably do the same for the others on promise of a decent pre-order package mind.

Neglected to mention Just Cause 2 yesterday which I've pilfered off my brother while he's away and have been well and truely sucked in. There's plenty of flaws to it, but it's so much fun you forgive them very quickly. It almost begs the question why isn't there a grappling hook in every game? Not those crummy Zelda ones though. I might have to go out and buy it at this rate. Up there with Bioshock 2 as the best thing all year. Also played AvP. Not so great. That's all I have to say on that matter.

Various Titbits #7

2010-04-19T21:37:00.004+01:00

With money comes great responsibility. By that profound reasoning being broke leaves you free to do whatever you want. Which makes me feel perfectly fine about spending the last couple of weeks venturing to see friends, family and others all over the country living out of a ruck-sack and sleeping on sofas all the while staring at a bank balance of 72 pence. However, now is the time of crushing realisations of impending deadlines, undone tasks and a return to Cornish parishes. Although a full student loan installment lessens these woes. Already splurged it on Scene It Box Office Smash for the 360 (it was only a fiver with the buzzers!) and a plethora of music I've been lusting after for a while (The National's back catalogue, J Dilla, Jaylib, Johnny Cash, Fionn Regan, Aphex Twin, Dark Was The Night & Monsters Of Folk). One thing I made sure I didn't miss while I was adventuring was the leak of the new LCD Soundsystem album. "Dance Yrself Clean" kicks like a mule and "All I Want" is "All My Friends" after listening to David Bowie's "Heroes" for five days. It sags in the second half a little but the opening four tracks are blisteringly brilliant. Now they've been confirmed for Glastonbury too. I'm so excited I could shit rainbows.

Caught a few films while I was away too. Kick-Ass is thoroughly fantastic and is easily my best film of the year so far. Violent, sweary and a genuine cinema experience. Almost as good as Chris Tookey's review then. The Hurt Locker is as tense and brilliant as everyone says it is, walking the Top Gun line of homoeroticism just on the right side of acceptable. Although it's still more manly than the front cover of Men's Fitness. Synecdoche, New York is better in retrospect than it is at the time. I'd forgotten what it was about until I spotted it in a dimly lit branch of Blockbusters. "Comedy of the year!". "Laugh out loud!". The box certainly lies, it's thoroughly long, good and depressing in equal measure but not funny. Finally, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is a Swedish mega-hit in the world of books and now in the world of European cinema. Haven't read the novel, I can only afford those cheap green Penguin books in the classics section of Waterstones, but the film is a lot more involving than I expected it to be. Certainly got a lot more to it than your usual thriller affair. Worth seeking out. Kick Ass is the best of the lot though.

Prince Of Persia & Football

2010-03-31T22:12:00.006+01:00

For handing in my assignment on time I decided to reward myself with a cheap preowned game while waiting for the bus home. Unfortunately the Blockbuster I visited does that annoying thing where they have their preowned stuff outside the shop so you feel like you're rummaging through a stranger's bin more than browsing titles thanks to the looks of disgust from passing pedestrians. Although their disgust may have been that I was listening to Flying Lotus so loud the bass was giving them confusing erotic feelings for the short period in which they passed me. Anyway, I chose Prince Of Persia as it was £4.99 (cheap) and near the front of the pile. I've never played a Prince Of Persia game before because I usually buy games about shooting or football (or Viva Pinata or Pokémon but less about that eh?) but it strikes me as being very similar to Assassin's Creed. Turns out they're both made by Ubisoft Montreal. Go figure. The game starts off frustratingly in that I can't get used to the controls because they're not the same as Assassin's Creed. Things like holding B instead of A confuse the hell out of me it seems. Then there's the fact you die if you try to jump to a slightly lower platform. Not all the time though. Just some of the time. Enough to make you consider trying it when you shouldn't. Then there's the glowing ball things. I know now I'm never going to collect them all unless I get extremely bored. But with my next Swapgame being Aliens Vs Predator that could well happen. Still going to try and finish it because I don't want to add it to Rainbow Six Vegas, Red Alert 3, Viva Pinata: TIP or any of the other games I've never bothered to finish lately.

So last night in the Champion's League Man Utd went to see good ol' Bayern Munich. I don't remember when they stopped being good, when I was a kid they were terrifying team. As was Juventus. I remember that night in Barcelona when Teddy and Olé sneaked a win as well, I was just happy to be allowed to stay up and watch it. Turns out though, they are still pretty good. I know I should want Man Utd to win, but I honestly don't. I'm so fed up of idiot fans talking about how great they are with little or no recognition for the teams they're playing. Football ignorance is a sin in my eyes. I listened to the game on the radio as the idea of socialising or scouring the internet to watch it seemed unappealing. Glad to see Bayern get the result they deserved, kind of happy to see Rooney out as well. Be interesting to see how that affects Saturday's game against Chelsea. Then there was the game tonight. Barcelona destroyed Arsenal in a 2-2 draw. A sentence that makes no sense yet is completely accurate. Next week should be a cracker, might even risk socialising for that game.

Shooter, Surrogates & The Devil's Advocate

2010-03-27T23:10:00.007Z

I like the idea of Shooter. We should just name films with exactly what they're about. Shooter, Fighting, Snakes On A Plane. You know what you're getting, shit vaguely polished into a story about the title. So with this one you've got Mark Wahlberg in Max Payne mode. He's tough, like some kind of secret sniper tough. But then his partner died, so he quit and grew a questionable beard and lived on a mountain. Then he gets recruited to stop an assassination attempt on the President. The he gets framed for said assassination. If you've ever seen a Steven Segal movie then you know what's going on here. Apart from maybe the great moment where a man falls through a window with a dog on his arm. Still, cool explosions and it's nice to see Danny Glover.

Surrogates is one of those high premise sci-fi movies that no-one goes to see at the cinema and are destined for late night TV reruns for years to come. The most off putting thing about the film is the surrogates of the title which are robot versions of people which you control via a bed/computer system. The acting of these varies from wooden (which would seem appropriate) to realistic (such as Bruce Willis' FBI partner). This is confusing at times but luckily Bruce Willis is bald with stubble to show he's not a robot. Anyway, it's good throwaway rubbish. Not worth going out of your way for but there's certainly worse films to watch (see above).

I remember watching The Devil's Advocate when I was younger, drawn in by the promise of violence, swearing and nudity. I was of course, not prepared for Keanu Reeves' ass which ironically was the most natural thing in his performance. Some scars never heal. It's Grisham meets King in terms of story, one which builds nicely before reaching a climax of such absurdity you become unsure if you're still watching the film you started with. Luckily Al Pacino is mental and makes the film watchable throughout even with the hammy ending and outdated cinematography (only George Lucas still does those screenwipe cuts).

South Park, Twilight & LCD Soundsystem

2010-03-26T16:42:00.007Z

Butters is one of the best things about South Park in recent years and he's just as good in the new season that I think kicked off a couple of weeks ago but I didn't realise until this morning. It feels like it's been months and months since that last episode about a pee epidemic in a water park (a classic as ever). First episode is excellent with the new EA Tiger Wood's game being a laugh out loud moment. Then there's the slightly extended moment of vomiting in a TV interview section of the second episode. Oh god I've missed this show. There's just nothing anywhere near as funny as South Park these days.

I managed to break my personal vow of not watching a Twilight film last night. Venturing downstairs I found my housemate and another mate settled down in front of it. I joined in somewhat reluctantly. It was the second one which was on although I'm not sure what I missed in terms of story from the first. Firstly everything that happens in the film is in the trailer. I was waiting for the rest of the film to kick in, but it never did. Not that anything really happens. It's just Kristen Stewart moping for most of it, either that or breathing so heavily I thought I was watching soft-core porn. The obvious undertones of abstinence are embarrassing as well, made all the more apparent with scenes of eye-staring and heavy breathing that go on for so long I wouldn't be surprised if they made up 90% of the running time. I just don't get it, for such a blockbuster series how can so little happen? I'll stick to Harry Potter I think for franchise movies. At least they have something going on in them.

A track off LCD Soundsystem's new record has leaked and is now being officially streamed here. It's apparently the new single and is called Drunk Girls. Not sure what to think at the moment apart from that it reminds me so much of Blur's Girls and Boys thanks to the lyrics in the chorus. Seems good fun though in a North American Scum kind of vein. File under catchy. May 17th for the new album as well.

Football & Musical Titbits

2010-03-25T01:02:00.011Z

It's getting to that time in the season that's so appropriately known as "squeaky bum time" and of course this season it's more widespread than ever. Unless you live on the south coast. After getting their nine point deduction finalised I imagine Portsmouth's bums are done squeaking and now just weeping pooey tears of relegation. Lovely. It looks like the title is going down to the wire this year anyway, although there's still a 66% chance that the FA can reuse the ribbons from the photo as Arsenal and Man Utd are both in the running with Chelsea now. During a moment of educational procrastination I deduced that by my predictions Arsenal would sneak the title by a point from Man Utd and Chelsea would be consoled a further point behind in third. But this is coming from the man who has been baffled by the 24 hour system on his alarm clock more than once in the last month. So pinch of salt and that. Also getting closer to those Champions League quarters which I am thoroughly excited about. Not excited enough to remember if it's next week or the week after but still very excited. Messi is going to (unfortunately) destroy Arsenal and whichever poor soul gets stuck at right back defending against Robben for Man Utd will be more embarrassed than I was when I accidentally did a fart when waiting for a train a couple of weeks ago. I was pretty damn shamed by that as well. Still exciting times. Even Newcastle are a little on edge these days, although 5 points clear at the top it's ours to throw away. Or punch into our team mate's face. Whichever is more self-destructive for us really.

Got caught up in leak madness today. Not the frankly disturbing video but that of Flying Lotus and his new album. Luckily I was too caught up in the moral quagmire of whether to do it or not to realise that it was in fact not the actual record but a fake or apparently something miss tagged and generally mixed up. Better off waiting then. To fill in the gap though another song by The National has arisen, this one a studio version from the new album. It's up on the official site. It's good, not quite got the same instant impact of Terrible Love though. Also got the new album by Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. They seem to have given up on the Radiohead samples and (in places) got into drum and bass. Which I don't mind. Lyrically it can be quite preachy at times but songs like Snob have that much more relatable subject matter of musical snobs. Kicker of a beat too. Also played on Microsoft's Game Room. I say played; loaded it up, decorated my "room", looked at the games on offer, decided it was shit and turned off the 360. Could have been a good idea but at the moment it's an absolute waste of time and money.

Music Titbits & Burnout Paradise

2010-03-22T22:22:00.006Z

Just managed to recover from a 3 day bender this weekend, not had one of those in a while. One of the main things that got me through a painful Sunday (apart from an enormous amount of Smash and sausages) was Laura Marling's new album. New single Devil's Spoke is a good example of how talented she is. Tender, touching and just wonderful stuff really. Scary to think she's younger than me as well. Not the most reassuring thought when you've got a mouthful of mash potato, a head full of hangover and you're glumly staring at a laptop in your pants. Today I also found a couple more leaked Flying Lotus tracks which again are fantastic. They're not on Youtube yet but the obscenely outstanding Computer Face is. I'm almost counting the days for this one. 3rd May, 3rd May, etc. Also listening to MGMT's new album currently. Remember them claiming to be influenced by all sort of obscure musicians and whatnot. Which makes them sound unbelievably cool obviously. The album leaked so they're streaming it for free on their site, which is nice. "We wanted to offer it as a free download but that didn't make sense to anyone but us" they claim. It's alright really, nowhere near as spectacular as I'm sure many will claim. Brian Eno will undoubtedly appreciate the track dedicated to him as well. You can really feel the ambient influence. Also, fuck me, the new song by The National is incredible. Another cracker for May then.

Had my first foray onto Big Surf Island in Burnout Paradise as well today. 1000 points seems like a lot of money but now I've played it I think it was well spent. The island is much open for want of a better word, with jumps and secret routes all very well integrated in the map. In fact it's better than the main game really for that, I certainly enjoy it a lot more. Apart from the events are quite tricky, or I'm just not used to using the insane beach buggy. Fun as hell though so glad I bought the game at all. Time for a sequel Criterion?

Perfect Dark

2010-03-17T20:35:00.006Z

After months of shivering, weeping, wailing, flailing and generally debasing myself in anticipation of playing Perfect Dark, today saw it silently creep onto the marketplace. So after a frustrating wander round town trying to find somewhere I could pick up some Microsoft Points I finally got to settle down with it after so many years away. The first thing you notice is that everything feels the same, the music, the graphics, the sound effects. It's pretty much unchanged, which is for the better really in terms of fan service. Those expecting Modern Warfare graphics though are probably best off sticking to the upcoming Stimulus Package (5 maps, 3 new, 2 old for 1200MSP! What value!). It does feel dated in some places, it's worth pointing out. The controls feel imprecise, especially whilst aiming. When you hold down the L trigger it feels like you're dragging a corpse along the screen when scrolling sideways. Voice acting is not the best, but hey, no-one really cared about that then. One amusing point was when a scientist sarcastically claimed he would "help me out" but "accidents may happen" but then didn't press the alarm as I'd done the objective in the wrong order. Oh hilarity. One new addition would be the Xbox Live multiplayer. This again was a miss for me. Almost quite literally. A ten minute match on Felicity turned into a slapping match in the bunker area. Frustrating at best, plain ridiculously shit more accurately. However, it just works. The game is massive and (quite rarely for this gen) has a hell load of multiplayer options for split-screen and online. For 800 points you could do a whole lot worse but if you loved the original anywhere near as much as I did you need to pick this up right now.

As I only could buy 2100 points I had a few pennies left over. I say had to, I chose to. So after an hour of debating whether I buy Peggle again I went for Fifa Ultimate Team and the Big Surf Island add-on for Burnout Paradise. I've only played the former so far as I decided to come downstairs and watch Barcelona destroy Stuttgart. I mean destroy as well, Man Utd and Arsenal are probably worried. Rightly so. Anyway, Ultimate Team is like Manager Mode meets the Pokémon Trading Card Game (which was a guilty pleasure of mine on the Game Boy Colour). Seems to be quite fun so far and a nice little diversion from the main game, so probably quite fairly priced at 400 points then.

Gaming Tuesday (On Sunday)

2010-03-14T21:32:00.002Z

After going a bit ebay mad last week I got the chance to settle down with the (thankfully) only two games I won. Firstly Rainbow Six Vegas transfers all the tense hostage rescuing from gloomy warehouses to glitzy casinos. Or at least the box promises that then gives you a bewilderingly grey and brown opening level in Mexico or somewhere. It's like a tour de force of grey, going from a town to a train yard, some warehouses, some tunnels, some more warehouses. Although I think grey and brown was still awesome when it came out. I can't remember. Anyway, the checkpoints are also horrible. Hence why the opening level stuck with me (and I was stuck with it) for so long. I'm not a Rainbow Six veteran in my defence, if anything I found the squad combat confusing as my team-mates seemed keen to stand behind a car and shoot into it as opposed to around at the enemy. This meant that I found myself leading the line and dying which then left me half an hour back with so much rage that I felt like kicking puppies or children. But for a game of it's age it still looks pretty and bar said team-mate hiccups everything works pretty well. I shall, as ever, persevere.

Burnout Paradise is another game from a while ago although I actually rented this when I first got my 360 and fell in love with it. I've been waiting for The Ultimate Box to drop low enough in price to pick up and I felt that the £7 I paid for it was pretty reasonable. Although probably not as reasonable as the £3 I paid for Rainbow Six. Anyway, the game is as joyous as I remember even if the other events aren't as enjoyable as the carnage fuelled Road Rage. It's literally a hands in the air moment when one of those comes up at the cross-roads. Played on from where my old save was which was a little jarring going in halfway through the game but I quickly found my feet again. Luckily there's a whole ocean of added on content to wade through as well afterwards although 1000MSP for the new island seems quite pricey when Perfect Dark is out next week for 800MSP. Might have to put it off till the next student loan installment. Ah government funded gaming. Love it.

Beta Late Than Never

2010-03-09T18:45:00.006Z

So in a veritable smorgasbord of exciting things that have happened to me in the last few days a couple happened within 5 minutes of each other. A tale of two betas really. Unfortunately by the time I'd downloaded and installed the beta for Fifa Online the server had closed for the night so I got involved on the Blur beta on the 360. The best description is Burnout Kart really, it robs violently from both games. Although the developer has pedigree in the genre (Metropolis Street Racer, Project Gotham Racing) a lot of the things from those games seem to have gone out the window. Everything is at breakneck speed in a 70's neo glow in this one. It's good fun with depth in a variety of cars and maps that you can tweak with although I've not ploughed the time in yet to see them. Split/Second still looks more exciting though to be honest and I have Burnout Paradise winging it's way to me so I'll see if I have the inclination to go back.

Fifa Online for me is a mixed bag. My laptop lurches forward loading it with teary pixels streaming down it's graphically gurning face. It works quite well setting your team up and choosing myself as a grey fox of the managerial world but as soon as I tried a friendly against Spurs it jittered around like a man having a fit on a Segway. After toning down the graphics to the lowest possible setting it was slightly less jittery although still was very jumpy in mid-field. I found it hard to adjust to as the gameplay had more in common with the Wii PES iterations (which I have also not played). Looks to be fun though but unless I somehow acquire a new computer I doubt I'll be getting the full joy of it.

Finally I got my first few listens of the new Gorillaz album Plastic Beach on Spotify. Really enjoyed it, hard to name a group that sounds so eclectic throughout a record. Sweepstakes is one of the best songs I've heard all year and is a pretty good example of the collision of genres you get with a Gorillaz album. Hoping my Russian site of choice will have it up soon as I really will kill someone if I have to hear that pissing Burger King advert again. Sorry "king" Burger King advert. Cunts.

In The Loop, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & FA Cup

2010-03-08T00:38:00.013Z

It's the Oscars tonight which will undoubtedly be offering a vigorous industry reach-around for Bigelow's ode to testosterone or Cameron's poetic synopsis on how "WE SHOULD LOVE THE EARTH AND STUFF YEAH?". The BBC being the fantastic channel it is offered up it's nominated sweary classic In The Loop. I almost spat out my mash potato when Malcolm Tucker uttered "What is this? The shitting forecast?" in the first scene. The insults only got ruder and cruder throughout. It is essentially The Thick Of It with some added Americans but I don't think anyone's complaining. Great movie, but the only thing that could win a Brit an Oscar is a plasticine man discussing cheese with his pet dog.

After panicking about whether Swapgame would send me a game on time I woke up in a hungover daze on Saturday to find Battlefield: Bad Company 2 sitting under my letterbox. I also found some bills. But that was a whole lot less rewarding or exciting. There is one tempting comparison to make about the game. But I'll resist. So started with the single player campaign which in a nutshell is you and a small band of troops are on a mission to single handedly save the world. You do this via shooting people in the face with guns, tanks, helicopters or even by crushing a building on to them. Obviously onto the face. It all works great and everything but. It's just like Call Of Duty. I don't know which came first or whatever but, it's very similar. I tried to give the multi-player a go but I couldn't connect or I got kicked before it began. Maybe they knew I was a newbie. Still a bit of single player to go (only one twist so far) and no multiplayer but so far so good.

In between all the face shooting there's been another plethora of football on ITV. Which is obviously a mixed bag because it's great to see it on terrestrial but when did Gareth Southgate become their key pundit. At least they've not let Andy Townsend have his fucking computer, that was worse than Andy Gray and his insistence on showing us that wingers will go down the wing for EVERY FUCKING TEAM. Cheers Andy, it's bad enough hearing you take the piss out of Newcastle every time I play Fifa 10 anyway. Anyway very briefly, Portsmouth did well, Fulham v Spurs was dull as hell, Villa had one hell of a comeback after being shown up by Reading and Chelsea did just about enough in another pretty dull game. Here's to Arsenal's uphill task on Tuesday then.

The Typing Of The Dead, Modern Warfare 2, England v Egypt

2010-03-04T03:28:00.006Z

I fulfilled my teenage dream tonight of owning The Typing Of The Dead. As soon as I heard about this game I knew I wanted, no, needed it. The premise is simple, it's House Of The Dead 2. Only our favourite agents are now equipped with keyboards and over sized back-pack Dreamcasts. You then type increasingly bizarre phrases at the oncoming horde. I don't want to spoil the sentences, but they are fantastic. "Suffer like G did" will seem like the pinnacle of dialogue after you've been forced to type some of the rather more obscure ends of the game's dictionary. The most surprising thing though is that the game is amazingly fun. If it wasn't so late when I started playing I would have been hooting and howling over this gem. Find it, hunt it down and whip out your keyboard because this game is surely a forgotten classic. I guarantee you'll smile merely at the opening "The Typing....Of The Dead" voice over.

In face shooting related topics I've continued on my Veteran difficulty play-through of Modern Warfare 2. Just finished the Gulag level and I must say that it's not been too bad this time. Bar some frustration on the Favela level and a lot of frustration the smoke bit of the oil rig level it's been smooth sailing. Shall pick up again tomorrow from the first level in destroyed Washington (the name escapes me). Could do with the G boost really as well as I'm in a race for the month of March. That and the one with my friend is still happening (I'm just over 30,00. He's just over 7,000). The lack of any news from Swapgame is also worrying, that was going to be my ace in the hole. When it's been a week then I'll start to panic.

Finally another England game another satisfying win. A poor first half performance led to a solid second half display. Personally I think maybe dropping Lampard from the first team might be the way forward, Carrick's passing is top notch and can really bring something to the game in mid-field when you've got the likes of Rooney and Gerrard in front of him. Crouch also scored again, I don't think anyone knows how he does it, he just does. He's got a scoring record better than John Terry away from home. Ah, better late than never with that one.

Musical Titbits

2010-03-02T19:19:00.003Z

Looks like it's going to be another frustratingly long wait for my next Swapgame, yet to receive an e-mail saying they've got Bioshock 2 back let alone processed my next order. Luckily this lull in games has led to a glut of new music of late. Well kind of. Foals have announced new single and album information which I have greeted with mild excitement for a change, really enjoyed Antidotes. I have semi fond memories of cycling to work at 5am listening to that album on route. New track Spanish Sahara starts off almost Anthony & The Johnsons esque before building into an epic thing of beauty. Or it's just pretty good, that sounds a lot less wanky.

As I mentioned before Frightened Rabbit's new album is great, although I imagine that you might end up hearing it for the rest of the year. The album couldn't scream "mainstream breakthrough" anymore unless you put Tinchy Stryder somewhere on it. Probably the best album of the year so far for me. Hot Chip's latest a close second. Somehow they've made an album with an 80's power ballad on it and it still sounds fantastic. Got the self titled album by The Soft Pack as well which is garage rock by numbers really. The peak of mediocrity. Now it's just the painfully long wait for the new Flying Lotus record. After dropping this May seems a decade away.

I also was one of the lucky ones to get my Glastonbury ticket paid for so now with the headliners of U2, Muse & Stevie Wonder I couldn't be more disappointed that I didn't go last year. Here's hoping they get any of the bands mentioned of above to appear as well else it'll be my tears of disappointment soaking the ground of Pilton as well as the rain.

Bioshock 2, Red Alert 3, Frightened Rabbit & A Bit Of Footie

2010-02-28T19:38:00.006Z

One of the great minds of acting that appear in Red Alert 3 on the left there. The thing I find most amazing was that when I read on the back of the box "over 60 minutes of high def video sequences" I was disappointed. Only an hour? Genuinely want more. The game fits surprisingly well to a console with all your actions mapped to a wheel and there's shortcuts there to help build your power plants when you're scouting out with your team of attack bears. Yeah bears. There's dolphins as well. God knows what else, pretty sure there was a giant robot in one of the FMV's as well. Yet to persevere that far though. I can safely say though that this game was worth the £4 for Tim Curry's Russian accent alone. The bears are a mere bonus.

Polished off Bioshock 2 this week. Feel a bit let down by it, I played through on normal and never really struggled. The only time I died was when I forgot to use first aid. Still thoroughly enjoyed the playthrough. Highlights being the mad ambushes of splicers when collecting ADAM and wandering round the majority of the last stage with my sentry bot chums "Patches" and "Melissa". A solid sequel really. Gave the multiplayer a fair amount of time as well which was a let down. Ignoring the game crashes in the lobby which plagued me throughout it just was pointless. The servers will be empty in a few weeks I'm sure, they were hardly bustling when I was there anyway.

Two final things, got hold of the new Frightened Rabbit album which is fantastic. They sound bigger and brighter which hopefully will see them getting some decent mainstream attention. Current single Nothing Like You has hit written all over it. Also caught the League Cup final today which was both exhilarating and predictable. Vidic should have gone for the last man foul on Agbonlahor right at the start. Apart from that Man United deserved their win, Valencia and Rooney were exemplary and even Berbatov put a bit of effort in. Still wanted Villa to win mind. Oh well, maybe Arsenal have got a chance at the Premiership now. That's my last hope of Man United or Chelsea being embarrassed.

Being Human, Baftas & Bioshock 2

2010-02-23T02:27:00.010Z

It's slowly become my guilty pleasure Being Human. In many ways it feels like a televisual equivalent of Modern Warfare 2. Trying to be gruesome, philosophical and humorous all in a show that is essentially like a slacker version of The Munsters. But it is endearing though and at times pretty good. This week's show was the best so far for me, a fantastic scene in which George (our werewolfy friend in the middle there) began transforming at a school parent's evening. Every imaginative parent's nightmare I'm sure. The BBC are good at making implausible rides of entertainment these days. Doctor Who has brought them a whole new appreciation for the fantasy genre as well. I'm sure next week's (what can be presumed to be final?) episode will also be a cracker. Roll on season 3 then as well?

Last night was also the Baftas, which smugly decided to snub Avatar. Well, deservedly so. Haven't seen this year's gold sweeper The Hurt Locker yet though. Hopefully it will fill me with joy and slightly confused feelings about my sexuality like Bigelow's seminal homoerotic masterpiece Point Break. Nice to see some Brits win the big actor awards as well, always feels like the Olympics where we're usually an outside bet to get in amongst the shiny. In awards given out by us. Brilliant. Also glad Moon won something, even if it wasn't Best British Picture. Reminds me, still need to watch Fish Tank too actually. And An Education. And A Single Man. Pretty much every film that won then.

Finally Bioshock 2 has tested my patience for it today. An unwarranted crash half an hour after my last save left me seething so much I almost dug out a Rage Against The Machine record. Almost, still clean. The crashing has been plaguing me in the multiplayer you see. Every fourth to fifth game will crash at the lobby leaving me staring at a non moving counter stuck on 57 seconds for a good while before I realise I've been got again. Come on 2K, this isn't on. What's worse is that you've announced 400MSP DLC for a game that is pretty much broken. I don't think I've even heard anyone asking for new DLC yet anyway. I think we'd all prefer a patch instead eh? As for the multiplayer when it works it's perfectly enjoyable. Personally I much prefer the brighter, tighter mania of Modern Warfare 2. Probably should have just left it at the already exemplary single player game then.

Gaming Tuesday (On Sunday)

2010-02-20T23:35:00.003Z

Sequels are always a risky business for me. Not enough change and you warrant the point of it, too much and you fell like you're playing a different game. I got about halfway through Mass Effect 2 before I had to return back home and I'm still not entirely sure if I like it. I genuinely miss the Mako when the alternative is the dull as hell planet scanning. It's so painfully boring I didn't bother to investigate different galaxies for fear of passing out from lack of excitement. But the game has improved with the levels; variety, effective design, good dialogue and just generally well paced. So I guess I do like it then.

The one benefit of getting back to Cornwall was having Bioshock 2 waiting on my pile of post. Apart from it wasn't. I had to spend a good ten minutes rooting around to find it. I can't express the disappointment of finding your pile of post to only contain a letter from BT and the TV license. Anyway, I did manage to get it in eventually and give it a whirl and it certainly is nice to be back in Rapture. In many ways, very little is different from the original. You're still guided through ethereal voices, learning the story through audio tapes and hacking cameras and turrets to conserve those precious bullets. Although the change of character means you feel a bit beefier than the previous game. Fights with a Big Daddy are no longer so worrying. Although fights with a Big Sister most certainly are. Given a good few hours to it already and I must say I'm thoroughly impressed. That's still without even thinking about the new "tacked on" multiplayer as well.

My bargain of the week is Viva Pinata: Trouble In Paradise which can be found in store at Sainsburys for £5. I gave a good hour to it in my "I can't find Bioshock 2" panic and it is everything you'd expect from a Viva Pinata game. Laid back but with more depth than your average well. Easily one of the most under-rated series of this generation. Bar the Party Animals one. That game is shocking. Also bought Red Alert 3 for 360 from Shop To for £3.95 but that hasn't arrived yet. Looking forward to the cheesy cut-scenes already.

I've also been continuing on with System Shock 2 which is more addictive than I first realised. In fact I was sat next to someone on the train today with my laptop out and was debating whether to boot it up for the entire journey. I decided in the end though that the lady in question probably wouldn't have appreciated me hitting monkeys in the face with a wrench next to her. Would have got awkward very quickly. I feel the need to rescind my comment about the poor voice acting. It gets better. There's just a few people on the audio logs early on that are very bad. One thing that must be said though, is that the game is fiendishly hard at times and will punish you when you're down. That's just playing on medium difficulty as well.

Champion's League & System Shock 2

2010-02-18T02:16:00.005Z

It's a funny old game football sometimes, the last two evenings have a gone a long way to prove this. Firstly the fact that UEFA have deemed it necessary to stretch the Champions League out for the next 6 years playing half a match every fortnight or something. Even as a big football fan, it's nice to have a week where I know the football isn't on for a change. The action kicked off on Tuesday afternoon when Everton were forced to play their first-leg Europa League tie at half five in the afternoon. Apparently, Europa League matches aren't allowed to clash with Champions League games for television reasons or something. Madness, through and through. Would have been a great game for them if Distin didn't ruin it all with a red card and penalty in the dying moments to leave Everton heading over to Portugal with a slender one goal advantage. AC Milan showed their age later that evening by forgetting to score the millions of chances Ronaldinho kindly laid on for them. Scholes' impossible to re-create miss hit wonder and the gleaming forehead of Wayne Rooney put Man United in a 3-2 aggregate lead going back to Old Trafford. You'd think that many away goals would be enough. Finally, Fabianski learnt another footballing lesson tonight in that you should not face away from an incoming cross and always kick when passed back to. Arsenal were lifeless and lacklustre and more than deserved their beating. The slender one goal lead for Porto though doesn't rule out a Gunner's return at the Emirates. Also, very briefly, Newcastle 4-1 Coventry. Three points clear. Good to see us scoring again.

As opposed to watching a scary movie or reading Glen Beck's wikipedia I decided to find my unadulterated terror in classic Bioshock fore bearer System Shock 2. For an 11 year old game it doesn't look too bad, it's just beyond that head-ache inducing pixel nightmare you get when you try and play an N64 game. Meddled around for a little while, mainly trying to fix a bug in which your inventory becomes redundant as your character would rather blindly swing his wrench around instead of healing. It's creepy at times, although the voice acting is poor, the random rave music wasn't fun and the character models are terrifying in a mostly non deliberate way. It still shits all over any other game from '99 though (Half-Life before, Deus Ex after; that's all I can think of off the top of my head).

Moustache Effect 2 & Being Human

2010-02-16T00:10:00.006Z

Nothing is more threatening than a well trimmed moustache. Why do you think so many people signed up to fight in World War 1? Because of Lord Kitchener's empowering top lip duster that's why. I however cannot grow anything resembling that level of bushy magnitude. I haven't shaved for a week now and I look like an orphan who's escaped from an abandoned carpet factory. This is the last time I try to grow a beard, it'll have to be. Anyway, I started playing Mass Effect 2 tonight on my bro's 360. Don't have my hard drive so I couldn't import the weird freaky Shepard from my original so I had to make a new one. Couldn't resist going for a John Water's moustache. Makes me laugh every time I see him now and if the game had any kind of realism it would cause all negotiations and firefights to break down the minute that wispy puff of hair is in the line of sight. Apart from facial hair antics the game so far is a great improvement on the original with combat, the galaxy map and even potential lays in your crew all bolstered up. Even the ship's doctor seemed rather taken with my mustachioed Shepard. Lots of the game to go though and still need to give the apparently improved side missions a blast. That poor old Mako.

Started my Being Human catch-up as well. Still an enjoyable yarn really, I'm even starting to quite enjoy the almost questionable acting in some of the supporting cast. Although, it is guilty of shoe-horning in Twitter for apparently no fucking reason which is top of the list of annoying things in TV shows right now. Easily the best thing BBC Three have put out for a long while still, been a fair amount of time since those first two seasons of The Mighty Boosh. Even longer since Monkey Dust. Good ol' Monkey Dust, what a show that was. If only the BBC did an archive on the iPlayer like 4OD. Food for thought.

Misery Bear & No More Women

2010-02-15T02:34:00.008Z

Thought I'd drop by, been a while and that. Not an awful lot to report though. Back up seeing my parents for the week now, which is nice. Not forcing myself to eat slow-cooked casserole as it's the only thing I know how to cook is a welcome change. Although knowing my 360 and a copy of Bioshock 2 are sitting quite happily in Cornwall waiting (please don't rob me) is not so welcome. Been a good weekend for football firstly with four (!!) matches shown over the weekend on terrestrial. Admittedly they were mostly shit but quantity is always a benefit when it comes to live sport, Crystal Palace and Bolton both put in good shifts today though. Wales' late comeback against a resilient Scotland in the Six Nations was easily my sporting highlight of the week. Great entertainment, hope Wales can pick themselves up from a poor start.

My proudest discovery this weekend is that of Misery Bear whose consistently depressing antics are heartwarmingly amusing. Especially for those who are not "feeling" Valentine's Day this year. Which is people who aren't children, disturbingly immature or terrified of upsetting their spouse really. Also been catching up on No More Women which is the little bonus show to We Need Answers. Easily worth it for the twee music and off beat commentary. The game also becomes more alluring but I can assure from personal experience it's difficult to encourage people to play. Tomorrow shall be a Being Human catch up I think and maybe watching the end of Gamer. Ah, I love the holidays.

Sonic, Chime & The Men Who Stare At Goats

2010-02-07T19:28:00.006Z

This week saw the confirmation that Sonic is going back to his 2D roots this summer. Which is obviously good news, having played through the abysmal "Sonic The Hedgehog" reboot it's clear that Sega needed to revamp this big time (still not played unleashed, scouring the bargain bins). So what better way to get excited than to sit down with Sonic 2 on a very hungover Sunday afternoon. Before today I'd honestly never completed Sonic 2 either and I was surprised why I hadn't. I didn't even run into any problems until the Wing Fortress Zone which had one horrible segment jumping across guns. I certainly feel very accomplished beating it for the first time though and a nice little 35G for doing it was hardly a kick in the teeth either.

This week also saw the release of ambient puzzler Chime. The first thing that should be said is that a fair whack of the profits go to charity which is nice. Then it also only costs 400MSP so it's cheap too. I've not played it too much but it's quite laid back, not quite in the addictive puzzle realms of the classic Tetris or almost psychologically abusing drug that is Peggle. Hard not to recommend it though purely even for the first two points. The music is good too, the only downside for me is that I'm really bad at it.

Finally, in between my bouts with Robotnik today I watched The Men Who Stare At Goats. The film takes a while to find it's feet for me but once it does it's great fun. Fantastic cast as well with Clooney, Spacey and Bridges all brilliant. Especially Clooney, who sports a fantastic 'tache as well. Well worth picking up and giving a go, only wish I had the foresight to catch it at the theatres when it first came out. Oh well, that's pretty much my new year's resolution I think. Go to the cinema more.

Zombieland

2010-02-01T02:53:00.003Z

In many ways Zombieland is like the American Shaun Of The Dead. It's bigger, louder, swearier and instead of going to the pub they go to a theme park. Americans eh? For me though it's what happens when you make a film that is a mixture of zany Japanese photo em up Dead Rising and the frantic, manic, unadulterated joy of Left 4 Dead. Left 4 Dead Rising: The Movie if you will. It's also cleverer than that sounds though, with some real wit hidden away in the movie, particularly in a bizarre scenario set in Bill Murray's house. The characters are as wafer thin as you'd expect and the plot hardly revolutionary. In fact the plot is pretty much that of a romantic comedy. Only with more zombies. But with nods to The Zombie Survival Guide in a rules system, a score that at times hinted at those oh so worrying strings of an impending zombie stampede in Left 4 Dead and even a few shots of a moving roller coaster car that reminded me of those very common mine cart sequences you used to get in Resident Evil. Anyway, regardless of it's originality it's easily the second best zomb-com going. Unless you're counting Dawn Of The Dead for unintentional comedy. But less not confuse it anymore. Good fun indeed.

Edge Of Darkness

2010-01-31T17:23:00.005Z

"They don't make them like they used to". That's probably what I'd be saying if I'd ever actually seen the original BBC television show on which this film is based. But I haven't, so I can't. The film, on paper, reads slightly similar to Liam Neeson's revenge 'em up Taken in the fact that Mel Gibson decides to lay off the Jews for long enough to go a mission to find out why his daughter died on his doorstep. For the opening scenes as well the film seems like it is going to do this, with lots of effort going towards showing the love in the father daughter relationship. It does pick up though with the introduction of Ray Winstone as a shady character offering help or hindrance in some rather cagey, tense encounters. This is where the film does well, with conspiracy theories and philosophical tidbits thrown about with the tense stares and gruff voices. Unfortunately it also has Mel Gibson in it and he happily throws around lines such as "I'm just a man with nothing to lose" without a hint of irony. Which is why I'm quite keen to watch the BBC original now, with a little more subtlety and depth this would have been fascinating fare. But instead we've got a slightly more decrepit John McClane shooting his way out of a tense conspiracy thriller. A miss-fire.

5 Albums for 2010

2010-01-28T00:28:00.011Z

So I've been thinking today about music I'm looking forward to. I tend not to get in a frenzied excitement like I do with games (I'm going to have a sad little cry the first time I see Mass Effect 2 in the shop and realise I can't afford it). That's probably because the coverage tends not to be like a flood of information though. "Breaking News: They're still making the album". Although saying that I remember from my NME reading days there was a fair bit of that. So here's the 5 I'm almost quivering in excitement about. Almost being the key word, because this current quivering is from the painfully depressing cold of my house. So, so cold. Also, before the list, the picture is really shit. I felt guilty choosing it, it's like something you'd see on a BBC article talking about "modern music" or something.

1. LCD Soundsystem - TBA
There's no real order for this list although if I was pressed I imagine this would creep in near the top. Sound Of Silver is undoubtedly one of the best records in my collection. Although I own a Junior Senior album, so you could argue it's not exactly a challenge. There's an April tour over here in the UK and I think the album is down for March, so I guess we'll find out soon enough. Could go either way with this one I think.

2. Frightened Rabbit - The Winter Of Mixed Drinks
If you're one of the 10-12 people who aren't wildly in love with Frightened Rabbit yet then you need to firstly question where your life went so wrong and then have a listen to The Midnight Organ Fight which is one of the best albums of the last decade. Still feels weird saying that. Ten years ago I was 11. Scary fucking stuff indeed. Lead single Swim Until You Can't Sea Land encapsulates everything that makes them a great pop act. Melody, catchy, great lyrics and a little bit of a Scottish accent. Got to love Scottish vocals. Due to "drop" in March.

3. Broken Bells - Broken Bells
This combination is like a musical wet dream. Danger Mouse and that bloke from The Shins. He has a name, but it's not relevant. Only heard The High Road a few weeks ago and it's infectious to say the least. So catchy it almost counts as physical abuse. But in a good way. Apparently (as in this did happen) the album leaked around Christmas, although you'd be hard pressed to find it now. I say that because I couldn't find it. But there is only so much work Google can do for you. Also out in March. Going to be a heck of a month.

4. Arcade Fire - TBA
I can safely assume I'm not the only one excited about this, my love for Funeral was rekindled not so long ago so it's very much at the fore front of my mind. I wasn't a massive fan of Neon Bible as well which makes me slightly more nervous. Although in fairness I didn't give it an awful lot of time. But given this isn't rumoured to arrive till May (for a change) I've probably got enough time to mend that.

5. Radiohead - TBA
Would any list from be complete without Radiohead? Well, yes. Any that doesn't involve music for a start. Anyway, they've been beavering away on this since 2007 so it's about time you'd hope. But of course it's Radiohead so they might just hide it in skips around the country and not tell us for 6 months just to be difficult. They've certainly got to top the drama of In Rainbows release anyway. Judging by last year's These Are My Twisted Words it's going to be as unpredictably perfect as ever. I would hazard internet meltdown in Autumn.

There's a few other biggies coming out this year; The Strokes, Flying Lotus, Laura Marling, The Streets, Gorillaz, Deftones, Daft Punk to name but a few. I've still got to listen to Vampire Weekend as well (sort it out Spotify!). So at this stage my album of the year is Hot Chip. As it's the only one I've heard. But that's not even out yet. Dear, oh dear.

There Will Be Blood, Assassin's Creed 2 and A Bit Of Music

2010-01-26T00:23:00.005Z

I wasn't going to write about this film to be honest because I didn't really know what to say. It's a tightly wound, overbearing piece of cinema to say the least. In many ways it trundles along for it's two and three quarter hour running time but you become spellbound by it. Most of that factor though can be attributed to Daniel Day Lewis who is sublime in this film to say the least. I feel like I need to watch it again really though to fully grasp everything going on it. But from a first viewing it's deserved all the praise it's got for me, some scenes from this film won't leave me for quite some time and the score perfectly feeds the tension at work. Glad I plucked up the courage to sit down with it, I was initially worried that this film was going to be above my understanding of high end cinema. Fortunately it turns out I underestimate my own intelligence. Or that of the film. But let's go with the former on that eh?

From high end cinema I go to the frantic mess of a narrative that is the end of Assassin's Creed 2. Not to spoil it, but the pay-off explanations at the end really are a bit of a disaster. There's one more thing that nags me about the game though. How much control do you assert over the character? Given you're supposed to be Desmond inhabiting the memory of Ezio and re-enacting his past. So in the cut-scenes is it Ezio or Desmond? How far does the control stretch? I feel like this game has pushed me into a philosophical nightmare. First Moon and now this. Probably wasn't paying attention in the cut-scenes. Should have warned of the intellectual quandaries you'll blunder into if all the information at the start is not fully understood. At least now I've got the relaxing opportunity of picking up the last 100G left in the game before sending it back. Bioshock 2 doesn't hit for a few weeks yet so still plenty of time!

Also, feeling fairly musically nostalgic lately and have been listening to a lot of the Arctic Monkeys debut. Lot of memories I've got with that record; some good, some bad. Still stunning lyrically though, a sharp wit that I don't think I appreciated as much when I first heard them. A lot of their newer matierial has left me a bit cold, I'm sure given time it's got some depth to it but their first record (or even the demos circulating long before the album) is the one I'll never forget. Might even slip you a sneaky weekly top artists chart from Last FM;

1. Arctic Monkeys (50)
2. Arcade Fire (30)
3. Radiohead (26)
4. Flying Lotus (24)
5. The Prodigy (19)

Moon and Assassin's Creed 2

2010-01-25T00:01:00.005Z

I don't like making two posts in the same day, which is why I conveniently waited till after midnight to post about this film. I don't know if it counts as OCD or something but I feel it just looks a bit out of place when a post doesn't have the date above it. Even if it is OCD it can't be that bad considering tonight I'm going to be sharing my bed with this morning's breakfast curry. Regardless, I've had Moon hanging around for about a week now but due to lots of drinking/exciting football/generally not in the mood I've only just watched it. The more I waited the more I heard positively about it, which is rare for a supposed "Sci-Fi" film. But the setting has almost little impact upon the film in many ways. This isn't sci-fi it's lo-fi (HAHA!). Anyway, it's a film that leaves you with quite a lot of questions really, but surprisingly few about the plot. It's a thinker as they would say and in many ways it's quite unnerving to be questioning what it is to be human after watching a film who's second star is a talking computer. I've also excitedly read that the director (Duncan Jones or Zowie Bowie as he would never want to be called) wants to revisit the universe for future films which for once is an exciting prospect. I shall wait with baited breath for the next I imagine. To summarise, a lovely little gem of a film.

Also feel I should mention Assassin's Creed 2, which has surprised me by being really long. As a result I've lost interest in the story as a whole and just knowing enough to get on with the missions at hand. Probably splurged far too much time on it I think, even though I took a good four day break from playing it. Oh well, if I'm going to get any chance of playing Mass Effect 2 or Bioshock 2 before I run out of money to afford rentals anymore I'm going to have carry on splurging my time.

Football, Football, Football.... And Sherlock Holmes.

2010-01-24T18:46:00.004Z

Blimey, bit of a mental week for football. So much so that I've done not a lot else but watch it. Well, that and drinking. But that's not as exciting to write about is it? The most surprising thing is that the League Cup has suddenly become interesting. Up until now I'm pretty sure that even the teams taking part didn't really care. I certainly didn't, can't even remember when Newcastle got knocked out. Sure it was embarrassing though, they have a habit of doing that (á la 4-2 against West Brom yesterday...).

Anyhow everyone seemed to be excited about the first match on Tuesday. Apart from Man Utd seemingly, who kicked off with all the gusto of a fat guy climbing some stairs. That was in comparison to Man City though who buzzed around in a frenzied madness which meant that United literally had the metaphorical arm out holding City at a far enough distance where their wild jabs of energy were wasteful. But eventually City found their stride and genuinely looked the better team, United playing in a now familiar sedentary pace were outplayed. Tevez took full advantage and with his two goals raided the bank for obvious celebrations referencing his rather acrimonious fallout with the staff of his former club. United (Rooney) fought back in the final moments but Given is more than used to single-handedly winning points for his team. He was at Newcastle for Christ's sake! Anyway, Wednesday looks tasty to say the least and with Rooney bagging four yesterday I think goals are most certainly in the equation. That and we'll see how Gary Neville can further his status of acting like a dick more often than he actually plays these days.

Then on Wednesday we had Villa v Blackburn which was so ridiculous it was almost offensive. There were goals, red cards, goals, penalties, goals, OVERHEAD FUCKING KICK GOALS and more goals. Suffice to say; lots of goals. I can't even remember who scored them now to be honest, probably be easier to name who didn't score them. What is easy to say though is that Villa would have been in for a tough time if Blackburn didn't go down to ten men. But it was the right decision. That's what happens when you play a striker like Samba in defense. What's that? Oh he's a defender again now is he? But doesn't Big Sam always.. No? Anyway, a great game for the neutral and a great advertisement for a competition that before this week no-one gave a shit about. Made the FA Cup results this weekend look a bit tame in comparison. Hope Leeds can do over Tottenham at home now though. Can see some magic in that story.

Aaaaaand finally. Went to see Sherlock Holmes today. Heard mixed things about it, but I quite enjoyed it. But I quite like Guy Ritchie films so I always was going to. Downey Jr is amazing as ever, the music is a bizarre mix of Irish and Polka and there's lots of clever bits of slow-mo like you'd expect. Oh and Mark Strong is in it as always. Does feel a bit long and some of the scenes in the middle do bring the yawns but apart from that worth the £4.50 of Child's Tickets day or whatever was happening down at the cinema in town. Whatever it was still a half empty cinema.

Assassin's Creed 2, Dawn Of The Dead, 500 Days Of Summer and Fucking Portsmouth

2010-01-18T01:14:00.005Z

So as I predicted just two days previously Assassin's Creed 2 has managed to dislodge Fahrenheit from my 360. I'm sure if the game had any realistic human emotion it would be prompting me to press X to cry. AC2 throws you right back into where you left off in the last game. You know proudly rubbing your hands together because you just got 100G or something for doing Eagle Vision on your bedroom wall. Feel sorry for the ones that didn't do it. If there's any. Is there any? Anyway, the disclaimer at the start says that the game was ruthlessly researched to be completely historically accurate. Which made it all the more cringe worthy when it only took three levels for someone to say "It's a me, Mario!". My face was firmly in my palm. But where the game fails in voice-acting (it does, massively, even the bizarre appearance of Danny Wallace is crap) it makes up for it in being fun. Although it's a little boring at first not being able to stab people, which is blatantly where the fun is to be had. The game eases you back in and chucks a few new bits at you as well. Thoroughly enjoying it thus far then and shall happily awake tomorrow afternoon (yes, afternoon) and continue my dagger plunging, historical learning.

A quick mention of Saturday night where new life was breathed into Romero classic Dawn Of The Dead through a rather harsh drinking game. When one of the rules is "drink every time you see a zombie die" you know you're in for a messy night. Good fun was had by all. Then went on to have a hilariously awkward movie session with a few friends watching 500 Days Of Summer today. Awkward because two of them are in a relationship which shares many parallels with the film. Suffice to say I was called a cunt before the end for choosing it. Worth it though. Oh, and cheers to Portsmouth for voiding my accumulator before anyone had even kicked-off. I would have lost anyway, but that's beside the point.

Fahrenheit and A Bit Of Football

2010-01-15T20:48:00.003Z

I can sympathise with the story in this game given that I barely remember buying it. It was one of those late night eBay bids that seemed like a good idea. I then completely forgot about it until I logged on to my barely used other e-mail address and found out that I'd won the auction and needed to pay for it. Which was nice. So it arrived today (was hoping that Assassin's Creed 2 would be with it, but alas it was not) and I gave it a little whirl. The story I reference at the start is that the game begins with you clearing up a murder you committed. But you don't know why you did it and from there on in the mystery begins. I say from there on in, I'm assuming the mystery begins as I'm not that far in. It's a bizarre little crumpet so far, which is like an adventure game with none of the leaping about and lots of quick time events, conversations and opening cupboards. I'm drawn in though, purely because there's not much else like it. Even now 5 years on from it's release. Apart from the DVD set up of the game which was royally ripped by the massively flawed Alone In The Dark reboot. Anyway, I'll see how I get on with it. Although I think Assassin's Creed 2 will push it on to the back burner.

I don't often chat about football which does belay the love I have for the sport. It certainly is worth mentioning the fantastic performance of Reading against Liverpool on Wednesday night. It was a proper FA Cup match, David v Goliath and Reading were the only ones who really turned up. Rafa is, rightly so, in a fair bit of trouble. Should he go? Yeah of course he should. Looking at the Liverpool team sheet these days is like looking at a team like Porto's. Loads of average European players who barely deserve to be in the team they're playing for let alone an international squad. You just can't see them turning it round either. Worrying to say the least. Finally, here's my accumulator for tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Chelsea
Man Utd
Birmingham
Tottenham
Blackpool
Ipswich
Nottm Forest
Leeds
Bournemouth
Celtic

District 9, Being Human and Russia!

2010-01-12T21:00:00.012Z

So as I sit tapping my fingers in waiting for my next Swapgame (please be Assassin's Creed 2, please be Assassin's Creed 2, etc) it's about time that I started catching up on those films from last year. District 9 initially sauntered into my field of vision when there were whispers of the director of it being given the reins on the mythical Halo movie. I imagine his Halo short would have gone some way to helping that story. Anyway, the film itself starts off as a kind of documentary/race allegory and slowly morphs into a full blown action movie before switching back to former. It works well for it and certainly is a breath of fresh air into the usual over-blown guff you get with the genre (Avatar). The accents can be a little difficult at times but that aside it's hard not to recommend it. Not a great movie but certainly a good one. Also I think the lead looks a bit like Murray from Flight Of The Conchords. Guess the jury is out on that one though.

This being the new year it also means new TV time. With BBC One getting Survivors, a show I've never watched but I imagine I might enjoy and BBC Three getting Being Human. I quite liked the first season of it, and it had the blind luck to wander in before vampires were all the rage. Zombies were the big thing back then. Which reminds me, I need to get hold of a copy of the third book in The Walking Dead series. Anyway, everyone's back for this new series including a new menacing guy who reminds me a bit of Christopher Lee but it isn't. Pretty sure it's someone quite well known though. Wikipedia will embarrass me in due course. It does feel like an intrinsically British equivalent to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with big plot elements always revolving round very British things. Like pubs and tea-making. Which is lovely and adds a bit of warmth to the show. I'm going to hastily say that I'll stick with it again.

Finally I owe some praise to Russia today. Not just for their stereotypical choice of hats. Oh no. So much more. I've stumbled across the murky waters of Russian MP3 sites. Not sure where it leaves me legally but my $25 has bought me all the albums I've been holding out for quite a while. Flying Lotus, The XX, Karen O and the Kids, Madvillian, Portishead, Horrors, The Prodigy, Japandroids, Animal Collective, The Antlers, Florence + The Machine, Deadmau5 and Fuck Buttons. Still got $10 left too. I need to widen my tastes it seems. Toodles.

Crayon Physics Deluxe

2010-01-10T09:43:00.003Z

Another pay what you want PC birthday bargain. A phrase I don't expect to use much but one I'm happy to wheel out. Downloaded this yesterday after seeing it was on offer. I paid only a couple of dollars again, but to be honest that's the price I would have waited for on Steam anyway. The irony also is that I spent a good £7 to buy a portable mouse to enjoy it with as well. I struggled on my laptop one when I played a demo not too long ago. Anyway, it's a fun little game. Done the first two "islands" now with little trouble but we'll see how the later ones fair. The level editor should prove to add a bit more fun to those slightly more creative than myself.

Right, better finish off packing for my train and bus journey back to Cornwall. We'll see what the snow conditions are like down there. Somehow doubt they'll be any better than up here. I'll leave you with the current gamerscore race scores.

Cherky 2: 6039 (10,000)
Captain Fantasm: 27,988 (50,000)

2010: What To Look Forward To

2010-01-09T02:49:00.011Z

The only downside about January is that all you favourite lists from December are gone. Well if you're sitting there, crying alone in your room, desperately trying to put your favourite fingers in a preferential list just to satisfy your need for things to be listed numerically in order of quality then you can stop your worry now! Not that I'm making a list. But there is of course the annual event of "let's predict what will be big this year". So I'm going to have a pop as well. Not that my predictions are any good, or even note-worthy but merely so I can look back in twelve months time and ask "what the hell was I thinking".

So, the obvious one to mention is Ellie Goulding who everyone seems to love at the moment. She doesn't do much for me really but I imagine by her being a solo, female artist and singing inoffensive popesque music she'll do well. The NME are banging on about The Drums who apparently sound like a modern Beach Boys. Personally they look like the biggest bunch of cunts since The Kooks. And they were massive cunts. Remember his hair? Jesus, he looked like a prick. The Drums music is also pretty dull. Like a few hyped bands from last year really. Girls and Phoenix. Went back and listened to their records. Just boring. Also listened to The Big Pink, they were just shit though.

My favourite new artist is Gold Panda who I've been loving for a couple of months. Making a kind of ambient electronica that is both unique and pleasing. Like a cake with personalised icing. From what I've listened to recently as well Surfer Blood, Joy Orbison and Egyptian Hip-Hop (Couldn't find Nifeo on Youtube, but it's worth hunting down) also are alright. To me Surfer Blood sound a bit Wezzerish, Joy Orbison is apparently "dubstep" although I know nothing about the genre really and Egyptian Hip-Hop sound like a mix of XX Teens and Late Of The Pier. Personally I think XX Teens are better than Egyptian Hip Hop. They certainly don't look as stupid. But what do I know!

Film wise there's three kinds of films to look forward to. There's some complete shit that undoubtedly people will go watch: New Twilight, New Narnia, Step Up 3D and even a new Cats and Dogs film (the ever popular franchise). There's some big hollywood releases: Prince Of Persia, Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, The A-Team and Toy Story 3. Then there's two films that will clearly be brilliant: Tron Legacy and a Red Dawn remake. Wolverines, etc. Not sure what's coming out of left-field for this year yet. Sure they'll be some gems though. Still got a few to watch from last year, namely: A Serious Man, Moon, District 9 and a few others.

Finally, game wise there's bundles and bundles of joy coming our way. A lot of it in quarter one for a change too. I hate that I just used the term "quarter one" by the way. Been reading too many articles about games it seems. Anyway, Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, Dante's Inferno, Aliens Vs Predator, Alan Wake, Just Cause 2 just to start with. Obviously the most interesting addition will be Natal vs Gem (as it's apparently known). We shall see. I predict Halo:Reach to be the years biggest seller. Possibly pipped by Treyarch's Call Of Duty iteration. Again, we shall see.

I shall leave you to what I look forward most this year; Newcastle United back in the Premiership. Adieu.

Left 4 Dead (NES Version)

2010-01-07T18:32:00.006Z

I imagine readers of Eurogamer or Kotaku would have already seen about a guy called Eric Ruth's unofficial NES inspired port of Left 4 Dead (link here). Once you get over the initial "Look how cute they are! Awww, look at the little boomers!" style fawning, there's a fun little game there. Although they'll be plenty of fawning. From the midi file music covers to the title screen there's plenty to smile about. I'm pretty terrible though, only managed to get as far as halfway to the second safe room. Never was very good at the old top down shooter.

Anyway, I saw that the game was made in a little program called Game Maker (link here) which made me wonder if I could have a go. So I downloaded it and had a go at the tutorial. Seemed simple enough. Then our internet and TV went down for about 8 hours so I felt fate was telling me to make something and make something I did. I give you Kris Akabusi's Health Munch.

Gaming Tuesday (On Wednesday)

2010-01-07T00:08:00.003Z

When I first got my 360 one of the immediate things that struck me was the achievement system. I'd dabbled on friend's consoles playing a bit of Halo and Pro Evo (When it used to be good :'( ..) and not really noticed it at all. As soon as I did though I became slightly obsessed with it. Then once I got Live going I realised that all my friend's scores were there to see and compete with. This encouraged me further. Further down the spiral. To the point where I stood in Blockbuster with unwashed clothes, pale dirty skin and a copy of Avatar in my shaking, sweaty palm. Well, not actually. But that sounds more poetic than just one day realising there's no real point in furthering your gamer score. That is of course until last night. I'm now ignited in a race for me to get to 50k before a friend of mine can get to 10k. Foolish you may say. Bah! Well, it probably is. But it took him the best part of 3 years to get to 5k so I'm hedging my bets on this one.

Anyway the point in that rather listless narrative endeavour is that I decided to pick up the baton and give Borderlands a thorough finishing. Which I did today. This game had bored me a little after I beasted a fair few hours into it when it first arrived. Coming back to it though, after a couple of weeks away, reignited my passion for it. Probably one of the best, if not the best, new IPs of last year. The story, as I constantly state, is cack. But the game is consistently fun and rewarding. Getting a sweet alien purple ball blasting rifle thing after defeating a rather troublesome grunt being a prime example of this. It went on to be my weapon of choice in the rather baffling final boss fight. It was a bit shit. Not Arkham Asylum boss shit. But still pretty shit. So, next on my list is the rather average Mercenaries 2. Like Just Cause before it, I find it a bit of a disappointing mess. My brother loved both games though. So I might be wrong. Anyway we'll see.

The scores currently are: Cherky 2 (5674) v Captain Fantasm (27703).
A long way to go for me then.

War Of The Worlds

2010-01-03T00:40:00.005Z

I do like me a bit of ol' disaster porn. Watching stuff get blown up never gets old. Well, it didn't until 2012. That's not prophesying there, but I imagine by 2012 we'll be drowning in films about blowing stuff up. Right, so, War Of The Worlds. The geekiest thing I noticed about this movie was that the tripods (similar to the one on your left there) were the same as the ones in Half-Life 2 in both design and the crazy noise they made. Not sure which came first mind, but at least we're safe in the knowledge that they ripped off H.G Well's design. Although in fairness one of them was adapting his book for a movie. Also it's worth remembering that Tom Cruise is tiny. Like 3ft or something. I don't know the specifics, but it makes every scene funnier imagining that the crew had to have him stand on a box to do dialogue with characters. Or have the other actor crouch slightly. Quite funny at the end as well where we he has to hug his son so he makes sure that he gets his on top in the hug leaving his son leaning down into him like a model hugging a midget. Beautiful stuff. Dakota Fanning is also spot on with her portrayal of a scared child. Which means that her incessant screaming is almost as irritating as her lines. I just hate her. I don't know why. It's probably because of Push. God, that was a terrible movie. I'm getting depressed just remembering it. I think that's as good a place to stop as any. Oh and the film is average. At best. Not even Morgan Freeman's voiceover can add too many points.

Triffids & Arcade

2010-01-01T20:46:00.005Z

So it's a new year today, a new start for all. Best get your gym equipment down at the Argos clearance sale then. My personal new years resolution would be. Hmmm. I'll get back to you on that.

In the end I did get round to watching the sparkling new BBC version of The Day Of The Triffids. The one thing I'd recommend before watching it is to get ready to get involved. Not because it's a deep and moving drama, no, because it's about people running away from plants. It literally is 28 Days Later, Homebase style. I found it very hard not to laugh when one of the opening lines was "My mother was killed by a triffid." delivered in a gruff Scottish style by Dougary Scott. It is though, good fun and well made. It almost begs the question why didn't they remake something that could be quite scary? I don't know, like The Blob? We're due a new version of that right? Anyway, good fun and Eddie Izzard needs to act more. Not in a bad way, he certainly is cut out to play more malevolent types.

Gaming wise I've finally got round to playing a few of the downloadable titles I've been meaning to get in to. Firstly, The Maw is a platformer where you lead an ever increasing in size alien around feeding him and solving puzzles. It's good fun in short bursts and most certainly worth the 400 points (crazy Microsoft and their currency) I paid for it. Secondly, Shadow Complex is like Metroid, although I imagine you already know that. It's all it ever gets compared to. But they are remarkably similar. This is a great title and really shows what can be done with the Live Arcade when some effort is put into it. I'm disappointed I left it off my top ten for this year now. Thirdly, Battlefield 1943 is another Microsoft discount lovely, aren't they kind this yuletide season. Probably because the were pre-empting the inevitable crash of Xbox Live this yuletide season. So what better way to ring in the new year than an online only FPS. It doesn't have the depth or variety of Halo or COD in my eyes but it still packs a punch. Although flying a plane is really tricky. I've successfully done a bombing run once and crash landed many more times. The final title I bought was upon Steam for a change. The title says it all really, Plants Vs Zombies. To put it simply it's PopCap. A company that are already very close to my heart thanks to Peggle. There is also promise of a song in the credits when I get there. We'll see if it tops Portal's. Oh and it's great by the way.

2009 - Anticlimatic & Somewhat Predictable Lists

2009-12-30T00:48:00.008Z

That title can only mean one thing! Not quite as snappy as it could have been but hey, I don't get paid to write this. In fact I only do it to amuse myself and that title fulfilled that role for me. So I'm just going to bash them out like a thirteen year old home alone with the internet. Charming.

Top 10 Films

1. Where The Wild Things Are
2. (500) Days Of Summer
3. Up
4. Watchmen
5. Star Trek
6. Adventureland
7. Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
8. Fantastic Mr Fox
9. Avatar
10. Drag Me To Hell

Top 10 Games

1. Fifa 10
2. Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
3. Batman: Arkham Asylum
4. Left 4 Dead 2
5. Halo 3: ODST
6. Borderlands
7. Resident Evil 5
8. Red Faction: Guerrilla
9. Prototype
10. Halo Wars

Top 10 Artists/Albums/Songs (Via Last FM)

1. Radiohead (643)
2. Biffy Clyro (396)
3. Frightened Rabbit (336)
4. The Maccabees (331)
5. LCD Soundsystem (316)
6. Future Of The Left (315)
7. Dananananaykroyd (206)
8. Blur (169)
9. Bloc Party (151)
10. Tubelord (150)

1. The Maccabees - Wall Of Arms (256)
2. Frightened Rabbit - The Midnight Organ Fight (241)
3. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver (230)
4. Dananananaykroyd - Hey Everyone (188)
5. Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions (164)
6. Future Of The Left - Travels With Myself And Another (161)
7. Radiohead - Amnesiac B-Sides (133) *
8. Karen O + The Kids - Where The Wild Things Are Original Soundtrack (131)
9. The Dodos - Visiter (115)
9. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (115)

1. LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends (77)
2. Frightened Rabbit - The Modern Leper (53)
3. LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great (52)
4. Frightened Rabbit - My Backwards Walk (51)
5. The Maccabees - Young Lions (47)
6. Biffy Clyro - That Golden Rule (42)
7. Frightened Rabbit - Keep Yourself Warm (40)
8. Blur - The Universal (37)
8. LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum (37)
10. Radiohead - Worrywort (36) **

So there you have it. Amazing how little of my music is from this year, but that's the truth it seems. Good job there isn't a similar program for the 360. That one would be all out of whack too then. Bloody Blue Dragon would be in there too. Anyway, roll on 2010 and that.

*I made a compendium album of the b-sides and labelled it thus. Can't believe it made it to be honest.
** It was a three way tie but I went for the one that wasn't by Frightened Rabbit

Various Titbits #6

2009-12-28T19:57:00.006Z

So, Christmas. Was fun wasn't it? Feel like I've eaten enough shit to defecate around a metric ton. Also had a bizarre red wine hangover that has constantly crept up on me all day like a fuzzy ninja pain blanket. If such a thing is possible. Been a good one though, my quizzing prowess has been (frankly) outstanding and my gullet has been well and truly pleasured. Mainly received the gift of money this year which heart-breakingly is going to go towards rent and bills. Although I did splurge out the full £39.99 on Left 4 Dead 2 which I've been plunked in front of for most of today. It's a painful thing because it certainly warrants the full game status it has in comparison to say ODST but it still is a little growth. Melee weapons are great fun, the new special infected add more to Versus mode and the tweaks on the level designs are brilliant. But the game is still pretty much the same. Hopefully we'll get some old school Valve drip feeds of free content for this one. Although knowing Microsoft I'll get my credit card out.

Christmas of course means one thing I haven't already mentioned and that is shit movies. Not seen an awful lot to be honest. Not sure how, usually some turd gravy like Over The Hedge would have me happily transfixed for a couple of hours like a simpleton toddler. But this year I couldn't do it. Not even the hilarious dubbing in the Neverending Story held my attention for more than half an hour. Although for what that film is half an hour is probably much longer than I should have been watching it for. Anyway, did watch the third in the Pirates Of The Caribbean series. First thing I should say is that I haven't seen the first two. Didn't really hurt though, I'm pretty sure it would have made as little sense if I had anyway. It was like watching a swash buckling equivalent of Transformers. Made no sense at all and just packed full of CGI and nonsensical shots. Johnny Depp was good though. So there's your silver lining. Anyway, watching the BBC's take on Day Of The Triffids later (or playing some Live depending on what my mate is doing) so will have at least one more thing to enjoy this festive period.

Avatar & Up

2009-12-20T06:57:00.004Z

If I had $300 million then undoubtedly I would do something ridiculous. Probably have a statue made of me riding a dinosaur. I'd have it in the middle of my garden. Be great really. Not far from this idea is one of using the money to take ten years to make a film about a war between a load of marines from Halo and some over-sized smurfs that live in a jungle. You can pretty much summarise the plot of the film on a beer mat. Or a stamp. The dialogue is also up there with great George Lucas' as well, terrible one-liners and ham-fisted narration that is more like commentary for the blind than subtle thoughts. Anyway, now the negatives are out of the way I can say why this film is great. It's in the 2012 vein of "cinema blockbuster" and, unlike the underrated comedic highlight of 2009, actually achieves it. I only saw the film in 2D. But it was stunning. The action, the environments, just everything looked amazing. The look of the film is also pretty original, the jungle and it's inhabitants are especially something new. This is also coming from someone who's endured several space marine FPS' so I've seen a fair few aliens in my time. Avatar is a film that has to be seen at the big screen to be believed. It's easy to say it's crap before you've seen it, but you'll be surprised how quickly the acutely dull Sam Worthington and co suck you in to their world.

I don't know where we'd be without Pixar, they are the only company that can make consistently amazing films (Nobody mention Cars). Up is no different, although it's premise is a bit zanier. The film begins with what can only be described as a heart-warming walk through a man's life. I challenge someone not to watch this segment of the film and not be moved at all by it. This has always been Pixar's talent, establishing great characters that you instantly like. Then, through unfortunate incidence, ends up floating his house away on millions of balloons. Something everyone saw coming as it was all over the posters. The rest of the film is classic Pixar fair, with mix laugh out loud moments and some genuine heart-warming times. But all of this goes without saying. Pixar films are always brilliant and this no different. They pretty much have the formula to perfect animation nailed.

Where The Wild Things Are

2009-12-16T17:38:00.004Z

I've been addicted to the frankly wonderful soundtrack to this film for a few weeks now. This only increased my excitement for the release of the movie down here. So I was disappointed to learn that the only early showing was at 3pm today. Which isn't really that early. Especially when you're going to bed at 6pm every night. Anyhow this also meant a solo trip for this feature, something that I must admit is a guilty pleasure of mine. The stigma associated of this was made all the more apparent to me when the only other people in the cinema was a trip out for a group of 7 year olds and a rather questionable looking gentleman also alone. I slid down a little in my seat when I noticed this. Anyway, the film. I'll be honest I fell in love with it. I was always going to. The pacing is fantastic and the subtle themes throughout are wonderfully done. I say subtle, I picked up on them all so it probably was a bit more obvious than that implies. The film simply summarises all the feelings of being a young boy. It's one of the first times I've seen it done so well. It is a great little movie, made for hand-holding, warm sofas and blankets. Something I didn't have the benefit of unfortunately, but I did have a small supply of chocolate so all is well. I can't stress enough how good this movie is, it may be a little bit full on for kids. But it ticks all the boxes for me.

Orphan & Crash Time III

2009-12-14T17:08:00.006Z

I've had Orphan knocking around for a while but hadn't got round to watching it. The first time I sat down to watch it I got a rather downbeat phone call from my university tutor asking me for a tutorial. It put me on a bit too much of a downer to watch it. I sat and listened to OK Computer for an hour instead and contemplated the misery of existence. The tutorial was actually a good thing anyway so I don't why I felt so mopey. I now know what assignments I've got to look forward to in 2010. Fun, fun. Anyway Orphan is good. Its a good ol' fashion scare em up. With some rather brutal deaths. The hammer killing for one was rather horrible. Very reminiscent of the stabbing in GTA IV in terms of sound effects. The mother (Sarah Jessica Parker) descends in to madness very early on, which I guess is to be expected. The film may have been markedly improved if she did a Sex And The City style narration for her lacking sanity as well. Of course, I was upset to learn it wasn't SJP in the lead but someone called Vera. She was in The Departed though. So kudos is due. Anywho it all goes tits up at the end as the sweet cherub turns into an angry midget version of Jamie Winstone. Entertaining though, not the best horror movie of the year. But certainly a good one.

I try to download a lot of demos on Xbox Live. Just to get a good feel for whats coming out and to see if I find something that I might like. I don't write about it though really because its not a fair viewpoint on a game. You can only tell if you might like it or definitely won't like it from a demo. However Crash Time III transcends such boundaries. The game is like Burnout meets True Crime but it's set in a Sweden where everyone does New York accents. Driving feels like ice skating, the crash replays seem to happen at random and everything is valued at 17,000 Euros. It's terrible. But so bad it's good. I want everyone to play it. I want people to talk about it. The first mission sees you given a 45 second time limit to get to a bakery for breakfast. I shit you not. When the demo ends it claims "it furthers the exciting franchise" or something like that. I'll be honest I didn't realise there was others. But now I'll be researching for them high and low. Crash Time III for Game Of The Year. Possibly decade. Heard it here first.

Various Titbits #5

2009-12-12T02:02:00.004Z

Been a busy week for for me, culminating in my last shift of the week in a couple of hours now. I'm officially nocturnal now, before I dabbled in insomnia. Occasionally not reaching slumber until the harsh rays of light and audible stumble of approaching school children (I live near a school, not by choice of course. Coincidence I assure you.). Anywho this leaves me with very little time for my usual habits of films and the like, but as ever I made time.

So cinematically speaking very little has happened. I did however get to re-watch Batman Begins last Sunday for the first time since I saw it at the multiplex. It seems strange that a film released about 5 years ago is only just having it's network premiere. I remember as a kid that network premieres were the most exciting thing about television. Another reason why Christmas was a magical time of year, Mum and Dad hadn't taken you to the cinema to see the film when it came out and now its on at 2pm on Boxing Day. Hurrah! But anyway, the film is better than I remember it being. Although there is no Ledger show-stopping performances there is just one long blockbuster that entertains from start to finish. Also making The Scarecrow scary is an achievement in itself. I always remember him being a bit lame in the cartoon but in the film he's realised as an element of true psychological horror. Something they also took to Arkham Asylum. Seemingly Batman can do no wrong these days. Here's hoping they do get round to making a third, even if The Dark Knight is going to be almost impossible to top I'm sure the Nolan brothers will conjure up a story which clamber near those dizzy heights.

I've also been watching a fair bit of TV but nothing out of the ordinary. All I will say is I'm very thankful for the BBC's comedic output. Something good to watch almost every night before work on the iPlayer. Still, saving True Blood and Misfits for the weekend. Going to get home at 12 today after my shift, whack on Score and have a few beers. Then start the catch up. Good times. I have also progressed quite far in Borderlands. I do find myself getting a little bored with the quests, lots of fetching and shooting and the like. Unfortunately no-one on my friends list is playing it or even owns it by the look of it and I don't really fancy diving in to the pre-pubescent, expletive ridden land of Xbox Live alone. Oh well, sparing plays for short periods have made this less of a worry but I can't help but feel I'm missing out on the majority of the fun of the game. If it's anything like that seen in Left 4 Dead its probably going to be a fair whack of it. Right best be off, got to make a sandwich for work. Now that I live in GMT+13. So I imagine this is what its like to be Russian, starting your day when everyone else has finished theirs. How very depressing.

Paper Hearts

2009-12-06T17:10:00.003Z

I awoke this morning (read this afternoon) feeling a bit festive. Which is rare for me and especially unusual considering I've not been looking forward to it at all this year. But, this morn (aft) it seemed quite appealing. Spending just a few days with the family, a lot of working, but also lot of time just milling about. Which is my favourite part of Christmas. Blankets, left-over turkey and bad films. I even made a Spotify playlist for myself. Didn't realise how much I enjoy Band Aid 20's "Do They Know Its Christmas?" until today. Probably something wrong with me then.

All of that though is irrelevant to the film Paper Hearts. Christmas is barely featured, it doesn't feel very festive really. Its a mockumentary film about Charlene looking for love. Charlene is apparently a comedian, although she shows little evidence of this through the movie. In fact the film tends tread that whole predictable indie staple of love, loneliness and quirkiness. Its a nice film, but nothing to write home about really. The interviews and animation are quite enjoyable but the general love story pushing the story forward felt awkward and somewhat boring. Still, I imagine hipster couples will settle down in front of a roaring fire for it. Or whatever the hipster equivalent of fire is. Hot water bottles or something. Fucking hipsters.

Various Titbits #4

2009-12-06T00:20:00.006Z

So been on a nice little holiday, come back and got a job. Its been a productive week for this old Captain. Even up to date on my washing now. Only taken me about a year. Even those old pants that have been lingering under the bed have been put through the spin cycle. The only downside of this is that the house is now adorned with my underwear. Boxers of various sizes and shapes dangling from radiators, doors, pictures. I considered draping some over my fish but thought better of it. They don't deserve to witness such horror, they've seen enough in their time already. Anyway, so in the lull before I start my new found employment on Tuesday (at 4am!) I've been enjoying and enduring some movies and games as ever.

Whilst on my foray north I went to see 2012 at the cinema. The cinema was a lovely little independent place, bigger than here but still quite quaint really. However, the loveliness of the venue in no way prepared me for the film. Honestly, its the most astonishing thing I've ever seen. I've never laughed so much in a cinema before, everything about the movie is pretty terrible. I never thought I'd get bored of watching stuff get blown up, but I did. To sum it up really, someone said "my god" within the first twenty minutes or so. I can't really get across how bad this film is, but I also can't recommend it enough for that very same reason. With a group of like minded friends the laughs will just keep on coming. I'm going to forward it for comedy of the year. But be warned, it goes on for about three days.

I was speaking to my friend the other day about great films and we traded a couple of recommendations, I told him to watch In Bruges (a great film) and he told me to watch Click (...). I approached it with trepidation, as it has Adam Sandler in it. The amount of movies I like with Adam Sandler in I can count on one hand. None. Probably should have realised I wouldn't love Click when my friend began said conversation by praising You Don't Mess With The Zohan. I do partly want to see it out of morbid curiosity, it sounds so bad that it won't be good but highly offensive. That's very morbid curiosity I'm aware, but I'd like to see Sandler fall flat on his round punchable face. The cock. Anyway, Click. Christopher Wowlken (phonetics) gives him a remote that changes time. Which is good, you can fast-forward arguments with your ridiculously attractive wife, mute annoying people, watch your parents spawn you. You know, the usual scrapes that Sandler gets into. The thing is the story, acting and general concept of this film is quite flimsy. You can poo-poo it very easily but it does work quite nicely in a Disney kind of mold. But it also rests on the likability of Adam Sandler who makes me cringe with annoyance whenever his nasally drawl saunters into my innocent ears. To put it short, I would have liked it if anyone else played the lead. But Sandler grates me so much that I can't say I enjoyed it. Even though the acting gets rather straight by the end, the seeds are already sown by his madcap antics in the first half. Nice try Sandler, its probably the best film you've done. Probably, I'll never build up the courage to watch another to test that though.

Finally film wise I watched The Life Aquatic again today. I'm a bit of a fan of Wes Anderson. The font of writing on screen, the wide shots, the quirky dialogue, the great soundtracks. I could wax lyrical about how much I enjoy his movies for a long while. Although to be honest I covered a lot of the bases in the second sentence there. Would have struggled after that. Probably would have just put Bill Murray and then would have started scratching my chin for further thoughts. Anyway, its a great film. Two great things to take from this movie even if you don't like it; the acoustic Bowie covers and the submarine scene near the end. Both wonderful in their own way. I'd go as far as saying its my favourite (maybe second after Tenenbaums) Wes Anderson movie.

Finally games wise its been a mixed bag. Whilst I was away got a fair bit of Modern Warfare 2 happening split-screen. Lots of fun in the 2v2. I never dabbled in multi-player on COD4 so it was a new experience for me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. So much so I've slipped a little bit into the online mode back home now. A little mind. Because Borderlands is my latest Swapgame. Choosing the "top three only" package I had to wait a full week for it but I think its worth it. Sunk a fair chunk of hours into it last few days and found it very rewarding. I've always been partial to a bit of grinding. I, of course, refer to the nerd term of repetitively killing foes to gain levels and loot not the urban style of dance. Although, if the liquor is the right the hips may sway. But, good fun. Given up on the story, some guff about alien technology. Honestly couldn't care less. The mechanics are fun and the quests, if a little simple and predictable, are quite addicting. Should slot nicely in to that end of year list (not long now!).

Mass Effect, Banjo Kazooie, Beneath A Steel Sky & Heroes Of Might And Magic III

2009-11-26T04:10:00.008Z

That's probably the nerdiest blog title I'll ever have. It was like a sliding scale really. Part of me was tempted to mention the football happenings of the last couple of nights but there's not an awful lot to say. Liverpool played terribly and so did Man United. Well, from what I saw of both anyway. I had them both on while I was playing the previously mentioned games. So, Mass Effect. That was a good game wasn't it? Yeah it was and still is. I decided to hop back in and whore a few achievements I'd missed. I know, its low isn't it. I feel dirty just thinking it. Knowing the shame I've committed. But hell, I got an easy 100G or so and remembered why I loved the game in the first place. For all its flaws, its a lot of fun. I'm now super-ready for number two. I'm not paraphrasing a constipated child there, merely trying to reveal my excitement. How many more games are going to creep on to that must buy list for next year?

I'm going to stay with a friend this weekend and I figured that if gaming happens then Fifa and Modern Warfare 2 are going to be on the cards. So I should play some stuff I won't play while I'm away. Phrasing it like that makes it sound like I have an addiction. I don't. I think. My 360 has been played every day for the last 5 days now though. Hmmm. Anyway, Banjo Kazooie is a fair bit of fun. Starting to get into making my own vehicles now. I'm still not very far though, got about 15 jiggies or so. It can be frustrating, destroying some balls attacking a crocodile's eyes was a real teeth clencher for me. Looking back on that sentence though, it sounds riveting doesn't it? Still, glad I picked this game up on the cheap. My new Swapgame will be here next week, so I can put it back on the chill pile till the next drought.

I also found out today that Beneath A Steel Sky was going for free on GOG.com. So me being the tight-fisted mofo I am, rushed there to pick it up. First thing that struck me is the interface on their website, its fantastic and you can download a game however many times you want. Awesome! The game itself is a point and click classic from before my time. I mean I was alive. But I was six when it was released. A game based around post apocalypse Australia was a little beyond my reach. First game I loved was The Lion King on the Mega Drive. Used to hate that level with the monkeys in the trees, was always shit at it. Oh, and the Mickey Mouse one too! The ghost level used to get me on that game. Anyway the game is a complete throwback, it feels dated in most ways. But it was free and came with a walkthrough so even if I don't play it, it at least deserves to be cheated through so I can see what I missed out on all those years ago. Which finally brings me to Heroes Of Might And Magic III! Which has just finished downloading! I'll be brief: I want a game to play on the train and I absolutely loved this when I was younger. Finally convinced myself its worth the $9.99 I paid for it and I'm going straight for "Vikings We Shall Come" (I think it was called). Its exciting fucking times.

Gaming Tuesday

2009-11-24T17:58:00.003Z

Seems quite strange really that Modern Warfare 2 has been out for only a couple of weeks because its already slipped from my disc tray. I just haven't found the will to throw myself into the multiplayer yet. Instead I've thrown myself back into my Fifa 10 management career. This has probably happened after my inevitable downfall in the new Football Manager. But anyway, its been a successful return to the helm of St James Park. Just finished my second season third in the Premiership with both the FA Cup and the League Cup under my belt. Not bad considering I haven't bought any new players, only signed a few scouted ones. Just won the Charity Shield in my third season and about to kick it off proper, but I'm going to take it easy. Trying to make my "EA Game Face" for my Be A Pro player now. Hahaha. Oh dear me. Just finished it. Its terrifying. I look completely evil, even complete with the "Glitler" moustache from the photo I used. Knew I shouldn't have used that photo from Reading. Anyway, going to dive into it proper now. Lets hope its more fun than it was last season.

500 Days Of Summer

2009-11-23T02:18:00.006Z

Reading back through some of my posts I realised that the majority of the updates of late seem to be around three in the morning. No wonder my sleeping pattern is so out of whack. I would have left this till tomorrow but its still very fresh in the mind. This is the last of my little romance binge and probably better for it. If I watch one more romantic film I think I may unwittingly swap genders. I'm pretty sure I'm generating a large quantity of oestrogen at the moment already. No wonder I can't grow a beard. Anyhow, the aforementioned film is something rather special in my eyes. Quirky, individual and very warm-hearted. I found it a genuinely touching movie with the two leads both absorbing you in from the off. It helps that Zooey Deschanel is beautiful. I mean stunning. But, restrained lust aside, its just the kind of romantic comedy you don't get enough of these days. There's a few staples of the genre in there, and it does stick to the blueprint in its own way but it really is just a lovely little film. Although, I think I might give it a little while before I watch it again. Overall I found it a fantastic little gem. I really can't stress that enough. Right, probably time I shot some civilians in the face on Modern Warfare 2. I can almost hear my sperm count dropping with every positive I lavish upon this film.

Adventureland

2009-11-21T03:44:00.001Z

This may well be turning into an indie film binge at this rate. 500 Days Of Summer is lined up next as well, might try and save it though. Anyway, Adventureland is apparently "by the director of Superbad". Luckily this film only shares a few surface characteristics, this film is more a slow burner than an in your face laugh fest. Or however Superbad professes to be known. I must admit I was rather taken with the movie, this film is very charming. Although the film begins by putting our lead in a rather unlikely setting, it slowly distills him over the film showing him to be a much likable person. There's a pretty fantastic soundtrack throughout as well, but you expect nothing less in an indie flick these days right? It may not be radical in its formula but before you get to the somewhat predictable final third you're already too deep in to notice. I think I'll be making some amendments to my favourite films of the year. Its definitely the best romantic comedy I've seen since Juno. Which feels like a long, long time ago now.

Wristcutters: A Love Story & 1 vs 100

2009-11-21T00:36:00.000Z

You can tell with a title like Wristcutters: A Love Story you're going to be in for some indie melodrama and the film, in many ways, lives up to these preconceptions. The plot is thus; boy goes through break up, kills himself, enters limbo, finds out ex is also there, road trip. In many ways the film is quite close to the narrative track you'd expect once you disregard the setting. In writing the film seems like an appealing prospect but watching it is a very different experience. In all honesty, its just quite boring. There's a few nice scenes and having Gogol Bordello and Tom Waits featured is always a winner. But there's not enough to make it stand out from the rest of the indie crowd. Its a 5/10 if I ever saw one. I will say this though; the ending is lovely.

Tonight (well yesterday I think) saw the triumphant return of 1 vs 100 to Xbox Live. I'm assuming you saw the ticker tape and news specials dedicated to its explosive appearance back in our lives? No? Neither did I really. Logged on today to get some Last FM fuelled Football Manager happening and noticed the little logo winking at me from the Spotlight section. I thought "Why the hell not?". Well I soon found out why not. Firstly I had to download the game. Which is fine. But it came in three sections. Why? Surely its just one game? But once that wait was over (I cooked some food while waiting, oh the joys of having an evening to yourself) I was finally chucked in to the middle of the prize game. I got 7 straight correct answers over two rounds, the questions seemed easier this time than season one. Then the game crashed. Oh. Cheers for that. So booted it back up again, got in and then bang another crash. Then got into extended play and a few questions in ANOTHER FUCKING CRASH. I thought we'd already had the beta for this? Are we in the gamma now? Come on Microsoft, just pull it and sort it. I'd rather that than maybe fluke my way into a prize winning position and then have you crash the game.

On a final note Football Manager has driven me mildly insane. Two 94th minute losses on the bounce to Preston and Swansea respectively. I almost ate my own face. Luckily Last FM has been streaming me the pleasing post-rock plumage of Sigur Ros radio. At least Microsoft included one good, working new feature recently.

Martyrs

2009-11-20T01:17:00.000Z

I'm a pretty open minded person, I'll watch most things on TV really. You can't say you hate it if you haven't seen it. Of course you can say it constantly during and after but not before. I'm also a big advocate of foreign cinema, little bit of reading never hurt anyone. Unless its a blind guy reading braille on a touch sensitive bomb. But the chances of that happening are unlikely outside a new season of 24. All of these reasons is why I decided to watch Martyrs which is a French horror/mystery according to Wikipedia. Now firstly, most horrors are mystery films but don't claim to be. "Who's murdering", "Why are they murdering", "Was it with the crowbar in the kitchen?". All of these I would class as mysteries really. Of course it depends on the film but lets not get bogged down in the details. I'm not adverse to gore really, I found myself tittering my way through Saw VI. But this film was a bit too much. It was just foul, I felt like giving up defending any film with graphic content and just supporting anything that Chris Tookey at the Daily Mail reviews well. It was just plain horrible. But maybe the story would save it. Would it fuck. I won't spoil it for you, but the films spoils it itself. Just by it being plainly shit. It makes sense, but I just thought "Naaa". Overall, I feel a bit emptier inside and very let down.

To cheer me up though I slotted into episode two of Misfits the new superhero show on E4. Its pretty good still, the writing is actually quite witty. Its just the coiffured fool delivering the lines the irks me. I hope they go a bit Skins with it and focus on different characters every week though. Not sure I can take an entire series of his Irish "charm".

Gaming Tuesday (On Wednesday)

2009-11-19T01:10:00.000Z

So its been out a week now, well for those who didn't get it delivered early and Modern Warfare 2 has has the majority share of my disc drive. I polished off the single player campaign on the day I got it, not a massive achievement as such as it was only on regular difficulty. I'll wait until next year to tackle Veteran mode I think, it worked with COD:4 anyway. Apart from that damn aeroplane level. Never even got close on that one. Brrrr. In the time since then I've dabbled both in Spec-Ops and online multiplayer, with mixed results. Spec-Ops is a pretty addictive little pack of bonus missions based around levels from both Modern Warfare games. They work much better when played with a buddy too, as me and mine found out when our desperate calls of "Juggernaut!!!" before our demise after 7 constant failures on "Snatch and Grab" grew too much. Online multiplayer is a different kettle of fish. I've always been a Halo man myself, been playing them covenant since I was yay high. Not that much shorter actually. I'm a little bit older than the Halo franchise. This is why I never really got in to Call Of Duty multiplayer. Its all stealth, one shot and skill. Where Halo is mainly madness, beat downs and sticky grenades. I played a few rounds but I grew frustrated quickly. Getting thrown in with people 40 levels higher than you is not fun for a start and then being killed by campers as well did not help. I did ok for a first timer, generally one or two places from the bottom. I'll need to give it a lot more time to get any good. Something I may or may not do depending on what Swapgame send me next (No time for Batman's challenges I'm afraid).

In between all the face shooting and airports I've managed to knock in a bit of virtual lego 'em up (kind of) Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. Its a sweet and fun little game basically. The humour isn't as sharp as good old Conker's Bad Fur Day but it brings a smile to your face. The difficulty isn't overly hard yet although I've only been messing about in the first two or three zones so far. My own problem is that I really cannot be bothered to try to build vehicles yet. I know this is essentially the whole game, but I'd rather just do the little challenges. My heart genuinely sinks when I realise its a "build it yourself challenge". Still, it was a cheap purchase off eBay so I'll keep it for the down time in between Swapgames I think.

Finally I come to temptation that's been knocking on the door. Part of me is referring to Left 4 Dead 2, which I'm going to forward to Santa I think. But no, its Football Manager 2010. It is the most addicting game of all time. I caved in and got the demo from Steam and I've already got to November. Its been one day. I have of course made a bit of a shit up already with my Newcastle team. We're only third. I've signed Danny Simpson, Jack Wilshire and Nathan Delfounso. Delfounso has played two games and been awful (good recommendation there coaches), Wilshire has been good though. Anyway, £29.99 off Steam. Its really tempting and considering my disc drive is buggered I can't shop around either. We'll see how long I can last. I give it one to two days.

The Mist & COD:MW2

2009-11-17T03:15:00.000Z

So taking a break from my horrendous binge of Lost I watched The Mist. Continuing Frank Darabonts seemingly exclusive Stephen King bumming he again adapts another one. Something a bit different to The Green Mile and Shawshank though and refreshing for it. Think Lord Of The Flies meets The Fog meets Evolution. Its clever and entertaining, bringing you a few shocks and scares along the way. What must be said though is that the ending is horrible. Not in perhaps a predictable gross out horror way but more in a disturbingly empty way. It feels a little bit like when you watched Requiem For A Dream for the first time. Still, a decent watch and it feels nice not to be hearing the string stabs of the Lost soundtrack for a while.

I don't know why I've decided to do this to myself but I've taken it upon myself to investigate the hype around Modern Warfare 2. There's two sides to it really and I'm not sure which I dislike more. Firstly you had the "glitzy" premier of the game. I say glitzy, when they're limiting shots of fans lining the red carpet you have a fair idea what's actually happening. But in the defence of the people who went, the stars did show. Vernon Kay, Goldie and the array of ex-Eastenders actors who voice the game. I can see why the game got the attention it did. Its the biggest media launch in history after all. But it all just looked a bit shit didn't it? Pretend soldiers, posters for the game, hot girls dressed as soldiers. It was a very tacky way of doing it really. But I also don't like film premieres for the same reason, so I can't complain about that. The second side is "No Russian" and the ensuing debate. This is where it gets really frustrating. People are obviously calling for Infinity Ward to be shot and the game to be banned, this was inevitable. However, the defence is either "Its a game, I shot those civilians in the face and I'm fine!" or "Actually, that bit was kind of nasty, still the rest is a great game". It kind of begs the question, why is it in there anyway? For the story? I thought it was justified, that was until I played through the story. It ranks with Die Hard 4 for realism. Its essentially James Bond starring Jason Statham and directed by Micheal Bay. Its explosions, madness and shooting people in the face. Which is fine. But the airport scene adds a weight of depth that is never really accounted for. Which makes the game harder to defend when its standing up and practically provoking the other side. They may as well chucked in some paedophilia and the corpse of Princess Diana just to really rile up the tabloids. I love the game. I really do. But its given my past time a bad name it doesn't deserve. Although funnily enough everyone has stopped talking about the Wii and the inane parade of mindless tat that gets Grandma waggling her wrist like she's turning tricks in Soho. So silver linings and that.

Top 10 Worst Films, Albums & Games Super List

2009-11-14T03:50:00.000Z

I've started scanning my memory for the things that have stood out for me in 2009 in preparation for some totally rad end of year lists. Yeah that's right, totally rad. I'll be hollering cowabunga as I write it. While researching my own memory (I'll be honest, the easiest kind of research) I realised that I'd not played/watched/heard that much stuff. You know, I'm clever. I only listen to something I think I have a chance of enjoying or that someone else thinks I have a chance of enjoying. I don't rush out for the new Take That album because I'd only end up creating a plot to destroy Mark Owen with a sharpened copy of his own CD. The freaky little cunt. So I ended up listing everything that I'd watched, played or heard this year. This lead to the creation of some "dishonourable" titles that were going to be in a kind of reverse flip to the "honourable mentions". But hey, I fancied writing some more and they somewhat conveniently added up to 10. So I'll start at the top of the bottom. Like you do.

10. Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions
This is probably an exception on the list. Its only here because it pains me. I was singing it mild praises a few days ago but after returning to Infinity Land I cannot afford it such dignity any longer. Sure That Golden Rule and Whorses are good. I would go as far as saying really good. Whorses has got some love on Last FM. But Biffy's slide in to poppy chorus' and now audibly terrible lyrics has lead me to question them. I know longer feel the urge to go their gigs knowing that its going to be 90% Puzzle/OR and 10% Blackened Sky with the odd Infinity Land and maybe even Vertigo Of Bliss tossed in. Their first 3 albums are pretty much stone cold classics. This is the first nail in their coffin.

9. Twin Atlantic - Vivarium
Its somewhat strange that my reasons for disliking this album are the same as Biffy's given that they're both Scottish and all. But this is their debut, which probably means the Clyros shouldn't worry. "Audience and Audio" was a great breakout single and gave really high hopes for this band. Its a shame the rest of this album is pretty much generic poppy punk stuff you can imagine tattood, skinny jeaned, straightened haired, American fuck-tards earning a cover of Kerrang! with. The plus side is that his voice is still fantastic, a real Scottish accent. As long as they keep that, they've still got a chance.

8. The Dodos - Time To Die
Pretty impressive that these guys have managed to get into both my top ten lists. Ok its not. But still, I had little else for an opening gambit. These guys have suffered a fate of internet hype worse than no other really. Of course its not entirely the internet's fault. The album is just boring really. The original was something different and exciting. This takes their music to amazingly predictable and uninteresting heights.

7. Editors - In This Light And On This Evening
I can tell you now I have a better filter for albums than films. I feel bad the company these records are going to be sharing further down the list. But regardless this album is not great. The gloom indie (Or gloomdie as no-one calls it) genre is almost booming. There's these lot, White Lies, Glasvegas. At least they're all dressed for any surprise funerals. Or just one balaclava away from a cheap ninja outfit. The lead single "Papillion" was gloomdie pop song of the year for me. Mainly because I've fallen behind popular music of late so I've no idea "what's rocking". The rest of the album was boring and meandering though. An average effort for what is quite a good band.

6. The Final Destination 3D
I quite enjoy the Final Destination franchise and that's a strong comment from me. Anything that even hints at the word franchise in movies usually makes me gag like an abused altar boy. But the Final Destination films have the whole ridiculous set up to the deaths. The slow five minute up of tension for a 3 second "Fucking brilliant that is" death. Certainly one to watch drunkenly with buddies. But lets be honest. Two was enough. Three maximum. This was not needed. The 3D is terrible as well. The overall highlight was my mate looking at his hand through his glasses afterwards to see it in 3D. The douche.

5. Lord Of The Rings: Conquest
This was in my top 10 games of the year purely because I have only played a satisfactory amount on 10 games this year. Worrying I know. It also means I've got to play a lot of another game before the end of the year. With my finances, this could be tough. Still a challenge is a challenge. Anyway, imagine Star Wars: Battlefront. Ok. Now imagine watching someone who has no idea what they're doing playing Star Wars: Battlefront. Its frustrating isn't it. This is what Conquest is like. Its not fun, its hammering buttons. Its not like Devil May Cry where its hammering buttons because I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing; its made like it. Somewhat of a laugh with a mate, but to be honest I played it with a friend and we just descended into Left 4 Dead soon after starting. So maybe not even that.

4. Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Clichés are a funny thing. Some are good to stick to really, like those in games. Plot templates. The new Call Of Duty for example has a plot so full of clichés it may as well have "produced by Micheal Bay" in the credits. Those clichés in romcoms though I don't understand. Why are people so happy with the genre? Literally every film is the same. Exactly the same. Some handsome brown haired American tossbag or Hugh Grant are lusted after by a hi-lariously kooky woman. They meet, get it on, fall out, get it on. Credits. Tears. It might be because I'm a man but these films are just fucking awful. Its not that I don't like romantic movies. Before Sunrise/Sunset and Eternal Sunshine are a couple of my favourite films. The latter being my all time favourite. I guess I'll never understand. Oh well, at least it keeps Hugh Grant employed.

3. Muse - The Resistance
I remember hearing Plug In Baby for the first time and thinking "well this is a bit good isn't it". Then here we are, however many years down the line and I'm listening to the new album, laughing out loud, because the songs are so bad. I wasn't laughing out loud in a sneering kind of way. I really thought some of these songs could go on Flight Of The Conchords synth rock third album. I know its supposed to be a grower and that old Muse are in there somewhere. But to be honest, I've heard it two or three times now and I really cannot be asked with it. I remember being outraged (mildly I'm a calm person) when I read Kele from Bloc Party state in the NME that Muse were one of the most ridiculous bands he'd ever heard. This was after Absolution came out. They were great to me. I now realise he probably had it right on the money.

2. Saw VI
I mentioned earlier my dislike for "film franchises". Saw is probably the worst of the lot. Just spunking out sequels with no regard for quality of any kind. They're just shit aren't they. Torture porn is all they are. I guess this its in the same camp as Confessions of A Shopaholic. No regard for anything other than the formula. I never walk out of a theatre. But this one really tempted me.

1. Push
Da da da da da daaaaaaaa. Here it is. The real shit-clump of the year. That dangly bit that hangs from sphincter like an 1800's murderer in a noose. Its just awful. It thinks its cool. "Look at me, I'm the new fucking Matrix". Its really about as cool as making soft-core porn with your grand-parents. Yeah soft-core. Not even all the way. That's how uncool this is. Dakota Fanning is unbearable, dressed apparently like a photo in the Daily Mail about New Look's inappropriate wardrobe for 8 year olds. Chris Evans is a dick and then there's some other people who slip my mind. I'm not going to wiki them to find out though, this deserves no more thought from me. This is easily the worst superhero movie I've ever seen and in that genre that's condemnation enough.

Misfits, Comedy Showcase & Miranda

2009-11-14T02:08:00.000Z

So E4 have done the right thing and taken the only two good shows they've made (apart from The Inbetweeners) and made a new hybrid of sorts. Well loosely. The shows I refer to of course are Skins and Dead Set. The first being the best drama of the decade and the latter being in my top 5 zombie things of all time (In order: 1. Dawn Of The Dead 2. The Walking Dead 3. Shaun Of The Dead 4. Left 4 Dead 5. Dead Set (Dead)). Actually I'd probably swap it for 28 Days Later. But that doesn't have dead at the end. So Misfits is pretty much Skins meets Heroes. First episode introduces the raft of distinctly unlikeable characters. There's a chavy one (She's vulnerable though! Awww), the slutty one, the strong one, the quiet one and the chatty, jokey, pointlessly Irish and overly punchable one. While watching the show this morning (and slightly day-dreaming about the brutal deaths they could commit on the latter character) I pondered whether its about time some shit super powers were brought in to play. Like in The Lost Room, which I watched before, they had objects with pointless powers. This was a breath of fresh air. Surely if powers are given by chance (we obviously don't know yet in this show, there was big bits of hail in the murky storm) then someone should have the power to chat to squirrels, smell limestone or change the size and shape of their anus. I hope something like this is brought in to the show. I somehow doubt it though. Although no-one has been able to fly yet and they even referenced the cliché in the episode. This could be like a Skins in comparison to Grange Hill in terms of genre revitilization. I hope so, as its enjoyable, shot on that same lovely filter as Dead Set and is undoubtedly going to be full of sex, gore and swearing. Lovely.

Channel 4 have got a Comedy Showcase season again. Which is good, new comedy is always good isn't it. Isn't it? Well not always, but more about that later. Last week was Campus which was from the makers of/producers of/someone who once saw Green Wing. Which is a selling point for me. Like putting "From the producers of Superbad" on any comedy is a winner for idiots. Somehow though the program just didn't come together, it may have been because it was a pilot but it more felt like there was no-one really interesting in it. I don't know if its just me I found all the characters unlikeable and tiring. I'm fully aware that half the characters are made to be that but I still felt nothing for them. Empty. I'm sorry Campus, I just. I just can't do it. Its not you its me. Tonight I met (saw) Phoneshop instead. This show on paper looked terrible. In many ways it is as well. But it was quite enjoyable, some good jokes (best was probably the Ross Kemp one from the trailer) and some good characters. Should be more characters though. Five is not enough. Especially when two are made out to be pretty much the same. I'm looking forward to next weeks now. I hope its the one with Will Arnett in. We all love Will Arnett.

You can tell that the BBC is funded by the taxpayer. Else why would anyone choose to make shit sitcoms like Miranda unless you had to. Its got everything you hate about sitcoms. It looks cheap, filmed on around 3 sets, has those same actors you see in everything and worst of all, isn't written by Graham Lineham. Admittedly I liked that Lee Mack one they did. At least that was just him doing bad joke after bad joke. It felt like Friday night comedy, run down after a hard week, beer in hand, dog snoring on the floor, fire blazing. Happy memories. This though. This is made for people that like ITV and read the Daily Mail. Primairly everyone you could say. Poor old Miranda is reduced to making a show about her being lonely and fat as well. Its a shame because she was good in stuff like Hyperdrive. But I guess its in your contract if you're a comedic actor at the BBC. "Do at least one sketch show/sitcom of poor to average quality". In summary, its the worst sitcom I've seen all year. Well probably, I imagine I've blanked the rest out. Hopefully I will for this too.

Gaming Tuesday (On Thursday)

2009-11-12T21:43:00.000Z

Not fitted an awful lot of gaming in recently, but I have been playing what will probably turn out to be a few of my favourite games of the year. I managed to polish off Batman Arkham Asylum a couple of days ago and I must say I was thoroughly impressed with the game as a whole. Everything about the game is just very solid, all the gameplay works brilliantly, the voice acting is superb and while the plot is not revolutionary for a video game it is entertaining enough to make you persevere. The stealth sections of the game were my personal favourite, sloping around atop gargoyles and under floors picking off guards one by one provided ample opportunity for improvisation and nail-biting tension. Whether or not the game is a solid purchase though is a different matter, I'm yet to attempt the challenges, scout out the hidden extras or tackle hard mode but I'm also not really encouraged to. I would however say its one of the few next gen games that everyone should at least rent. You'll struggle to find a campaign with the diversity to keep you on your toes the whole time.

Its somewhat strange that the two games I happen to complete within a couple of days of each other also happen to be the best I've played (and most likely will play) all year. I am of course referring to Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. With a single player campaign rather short in comparison to Batman (I completed it within one day) it may not have the same depth of single player. But the immersion, and again fantastic gameplay more than alleviate these detractors. With plot so ridiculous even Steven Segal would wince the game plays with its mind closer to the latter Bronsan James Bond films more than Generation Kill. This however does stand at odds with the now infamous "airport" level, which I personally found rather horrible to play. The pace you're forced to walk at encourages you to stare at the screaming, bleeding civilians on the floor. This level of course also stands in very close proximity to one in which you escape from an air base in a hectic snow-mobile chase. Hmmmm. Well the campaign is enjoyable enough, with more twists than a Cheesestring a fair bit of variation as well to keep you interesting. Spec Ops is also a welcome addition, letting you (and a friend if you wish) tackle a few challenges based on both Modern Warfare games. A friend and I spent a good few hours powering through a couple of them and I was very impressed. Great fun and a welcome bit of extra gameplay when you're fed up of feeling depressed in the airport. Its going to be everyone's game of the year, so why not mine as well.

Modern Warfare 2 (2) & Them Crooked Vultures

2009-11-10T05:12:00.000Z

So sleep does not come. Its a common problem for me. As soon as the lights are off and the night is silent I suddenly decide to take the time to send myself into a panic about everything and nothing. Its worse now when I have nothing to get up for, my sleeping patterns can get very bizarre very quickly when you only sleep when you're tired. Lucky for me tonight has brought me a 5am bounty of things to enjoy and ponder. I earlier wrote about the furore over the new Call Of Duty. It raised a lot of emotions in me, mostly about my dislike for the Daily Mail and the constant games bashing of middle England. But also the realisation that I really wish I had bought the game. Well fate was shining down on me tonight, seems unfortunate that luck only creeps towards me at this time of night though. A small trip to Sainsburys (virtually, our branch is closed for refurbishment) has shown that you can pick up the game for the insulting price of £26. That's more than half the RRP, on the day it comes out. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Delighted that I got it for that price. Also the fuck you to Activision's frankly unfair £54.99 price-tag. Well actually pretty happy all round really. Its a shame that proper game retailers can't compete with that price but at least they can still deal in second hand games for their profit.

The other plunder preventing my late night slumber is the Them Crooked Vultures album which has leaked. By them. To Youtube. Is that a leak? Because the cat is most definitely out of the hat now. Anyway, I'm up to track six (Scumbag Blues) at this point and so far so good. At this rate it may creep into my inevitable top albums of the year list. I may actually get cracking with that soon, I can barely remember what's come out this year. Let alone what I've actually enjoyed. So a good head start will do me well.

Modern Warfare 2

2009-11-09T19:42:00.000Z

So tonight the biggest game in history saunters on to shelves on a wave of five stars and 100%'s. Almost as predictable as the reviews is the moral outcry against it. Including the rather fantastic statement on the Daily Mail website that players "could plot terror attacks against civilians". This is of course nonsense of the highest degree, taking something completely out of context. But this is also the world we still live in. Video games make more money than any other medium of entertainment, the Wii has even brought gaming into the living room (albeit through the medium of scales and waggling). Yet still the Daily Mail and its blinded followers cannot realise that just because its a video game that doesn't mean its for children. Its got an 18 certificate for a reason, its not there just to make it look like a DVD case. Its there to prevent little Jimmy from blowing off a terrorists head after a tough day of SATS tests. Its like we're in the moral outcry of Betamaxes of Evil Dead circa late 80's all over again. Keith Vaz even had the moral superiority to raise the issue in parliament while opening with the statement "I've neither played nor seen the game". This does not mean you are on the high horse for avoiding it, it means you have no idea what you're fucking talking about. Thankfully my new hero Tom Watson shot him down (HEADSHOT) with a surprisingly knowledgeable viewpoint. Even saying he took the time to see the game. Probably lucky enough to get his pre-order delivered early. Probably on expenses too. Lucky git. He also has taken the time to set up a Facebook group called Gamers' Voice with which he aims to set up a pressure group to stand up for the industry as a whole. This is new ground now, maybe we're on the road to change? Who knows, its too early to say. But with around 3,000 members already after one day you can't shake the feeling that something may well be afoot.

The Lost Room & Lost

2009-11-09T03:16:00.000Z

I like it when people recommend new shows or films to me. Especially stuff that would never have entered my peripheral vision otherwise. The Lost Room is a prime example of this. The effort it was going to take to watch it all already paid off when I realised there was a Fanning sibling in it. Yeah that's right, another one. Who knew? There's also that bloke from Six Feet Under. That show that you never get round to watching. That and The Sopranos. Probably will make some time for The Sopranos though. Anyway, the premise of the show is this; a motel room in the 60's disbanded from reality creating a host of "objects" with special powers. For example a watch that cooks eggs or glasses that prevent combustion. So there's a key to this mysterious room that floats in another dimension or something and the bloke from Six Feet Under has it. He then loses his daughter in it (mini Fanning) and thus proceeds on an epic quest that takes him all over America (well the shit places like New Mexico and Texas) to find objects to rescue his daughter. Of course its all guff, with characters falling over themselves to help the protagonist and handing over helpful tit-bits with little to no coercion. I even thought that characters constantly stating "But its all I have!" when they hand it over would bare some significance at the end but it did not. Still, I sat through the entire four and a half hours in one sitting as it is enthralling and very entertaining. That bloke from Six Feet Under is also very good and likable in it too, I'm sure he was in Six Feet Under as well but I doubt anyone bothered to watch it all. Anyway, definitely worth picking up and proof that the Sci-Fi channel does more than poor quality Bigfoot movies.

Speaking of Lost I've also been watching Lost. Lost, Lost, Lost. Just felt I needed to write it a few more times there. I'm about halfway through season two now. Although I got up to the end of season two when it was first broadcast on Channel 4 however many years ago. I don't think it was that many. But I remember I was single and still living up in the Midlands. So we're talking at least three years ago (just checked on wiki and 2005/2006 is the date). The funny thing is that I can't really remember what happens more the reactions I felt to what happened. Such as the episode where it shows the other survivors first 48 days and I remember how I found the episode pretty boring and annoying. Surprisingly I felt the same second time round. I've also started to get frustrated by the flashbacks to everyone's old lives, I just want to find out about the island stuff now. I couldn't give a shit if your wife left you, even if it does show more about your character's reasoning, etc. I'll keep ploughing through though, safe in the knowledge that I've got three season of unseen surprises to come afterwards.

Paranormal Activity

2009-11-08T16:10:00.000Z

Its been a long time since a horror film arrived on a crest of positive hype. For me, the genre has been in a rut for the majority of this decade. So with great excitement I sat down to watch this last night. Lights off, headphones on, 2am. I practically went all out to induce the scares but to be honest they rarely came. This is not to say the film wasn't scary it just lacked big set-pieces really. Although I imagine that would be against the format of the movie, a sacrifice they weren't willing to make. As a film of suspense though it was thoroughly enjoyable, a tangible sense of dread slowing bubbling throughout the picture. The only downside was some very shoddy acting in a few scenes, not the scare scenes surprisingly though. The daytime scenes were sometimes downright cringe worthy and sometimes showed that some scenes were only there to highlight the blight caused by the ghost and were really of no value. To say I didn't like the film would be wrong but to say the film is worth the hype is a different matter.

Saw VI

2009-11-07T14:54:00.000Z

It seems that every year we get a new Saw movie. Which surely begs the question, who is asking for this? The original was a clever little indie horror movie which was very enjoyable for both its gore and originality at the time. Now we're left with a stumbling behemoth of torn flesh, shit acting and a soap opera story line. I'll admit now that I have only seen the first two Saw movies (prior to this film) but my house mate assured me that I would have no trouble picking up what was going on. Now this should have set alarm bells going off in my head to begin with, you miss a weeks worth of Hollyoaks and someone's died, there's new characters and so-so is pregnant/miscarried/suddenly a child. But when it comes to missing four films? Surely they'll be somethings I need to know. Well there was, but the beauty of the Saw films is they spend the majority of the film explaining what had happened in previous films and then a small part pushing the "story" onwards. Of course I say story, I mean a barrel of shit cakes. As you can probably tell, I didn't enjoy it. Everything about this film is horrible, even the little bit of politicking against the American health care system couldn't appeal to the liberal in me. I won't be watching others its safe to say. I already feel depressed that I have in some way funded the inevitable seventh film.

FlashForward, Batman Arkham Asylum, The Beatles & Biffy Clyro

2009-11-04T22:27:00.000Z

I've been following FlashForward rather eagerly since it started, like a magpie chasing the Silver Surfer. The premise is so simple yet can offer so many possibilities. I've watched up until episode 5. I could have watched episode 6 too but I thought I should save it. Or more truthfully I was itching to clamber into the Bat-cape. Things have moved on quite nicely, with whether the flashforwards themselves are visions of the future or imagined nonsense still hanging in the balance. There was one cheapening factor in which to keep people interested it brought in hot lesbians. Now as a male I obviously love the idea of hot lesbians. We all do. I imagine lesbians themselves do as well. But it felt like it may have been a bit overplayed. Especially since the whole African tangent is hotting up. I'll watch episode 6 tonight or tomorrow to see what's happening.

So I dived in a bit further to Batman today. Its giving me that same vibe I got from Bioshock which is very exciting. So far everything works well, the combat, the detective mode and the fantastic voice acting. If I was to criticise one thing it would be that when Batman decides there needs to be a "crime scene" (he's like a goth Sherlock) there is always something conspicuously lying around. Not like a hair or a bit of clothing, more like his hip-flask or a pipe. Admittedly the pipe was left deliberately as said in the story. This is how much I'm struggling to get annoyed with it. I'm going to savour this one, I've got that GOTY feeling for it. We shall see.

I don't want to review The Beatles really. What's the point? They're awesome. Fact. If you say they're not its just to be edgy. Everyone likes at least one of their songs if not most of them. Which leads me to mention that today they are suing BlueBeat for selling their MP3's. Which firstly is fair doos really. But begs the question why not sell the MP3's? You can talk shit about people not appreciating the albums anymore when they can hear individual songs but does that even matter? Cd's have allowed skipping since they began so that's hardly a new issue. It just seems like a massive disservice to the greatest band of all time to not let everyone have the chance to hear them. Even if you just sell them through one website it'll do. We're almost a tenth of the way through the 00's, its about time they caught up.

Ah Biffy Clyro. One of my favourite bands. You even released "Mountains" and therefore put the gauntlet down for the next Meatloaf and I still stood by. But now you have released Only Revolutions, an album that has a lot riding on it. Puzzle didn't necessarily divide the hardcore Team Biffy like myself but it made us question. The set-lists in the following gigs certainly did though, I walked out of the Reading 2008 gig after hearing Puzzle live for what felt like the millionth time. This new album though has again left me unsure though, on my first listen it just feels alright. Acoustic tracks like "God & Satan" are a welcome addition to the Biffy arsenal. But the twisted, frantic rock of yore is lost and replaced with polished, pop rock everywhere else. It'll obviously take time to get into and I'm sure in time it'll be deep in my affections but Biffy do like to leave me hanging these days. I know they've got a great album left in them. But who knows when or if they'll deliver it.

Various Titbits #3

2009-11-03T22:10:00.000Z

Been away for a little while, everyone needs a holiday every now and again. Of course a holiday for me usually entails doing things I usually do in a different place with different people. This was not to dissimilar. Aside from the copious amounts of drinking I managed to catch a few films at the the multiplexes. By a few I mean two. Although for me that's usually 6 months of cinema trips. The first film I traveled to witness was Fantastic Mr Fox. Although before that I saw the trailer for the new Alvin & The Chipmunks picture. I mention this because it was simply the worst thing I have ever had the unfortunate blessing to witness. I only hope no one else has to suffer my pain. Actually you should watch it. It'll make anything seem good in comparison. I mean anything as well. Anyway, the main feature is what could be described as standard Wes Anderson affair. That is of course understating the wonder of that label. The film is gloriously uplifting in a subtle, deadpan and touching way which you rarely see outside of the Anderson canon. I pretty much cackled my way through it, not many of the kids in the cinema did though. Overall, Anderson is an acquired taste but once you like it you're rarely disappointed.

The second film I went to see was post-apocalyptic hessian adventure 9 (or nine if you're a stickler). For fans of Burton (who produced this along with Nightwatch director Timur Bekmambetov) you'll probably enjoy the surreal monsters and heroes in a nicely animated world. Personally I couldn't shake an over-hanging deja vu. I'm not sure if its entirely intentional but a lot of the things felt very recycled if you've played any video games this generation. LittleBigPlanet for the heroes, Half Life 2 for the robot, even an overlying feeling of Fallout 3 in the setting. These played on my mind a lot while I was watching the film and more than anything couldn't help but think that it was just one long cut-scene and eventually it was going to chuck me, controller in hand, into play. The plot even felt more like that of a video game than one from a film. All this aside though, the people I went with enjoyed it on its own merit so I may just be being picky.

Finally in game related news I returned home to find Batman Arkham Asylum (finally!), Eternal Sonata and two copies of Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on my door mat (well on my bed, I don't live alone). Fired up Batman for a quick 10 minutes and had a little play, not got any further than the expeditions of the demo yet though so no new opinion upon it. No doubt it'll be the one I plough the most time into though over the next few days. Going to get properly stuck into it tomorrow. Can't wait.

Gaming Tuesday

2009-10-20T12:28:00.000+01:00

So, it goes without saying really that the majority of my time has been sunk into Blue Dragon. Since my last update I've done a quest in a "Forest Of Exile" and gone through a laser abused landscape that looked not too dissimilar from those cheese levels from the old Worms games. I realise now why people referred to JRPG as grinding slog-fest affairs. I've not even had to go through grinding up my levels to fight a boss yet. But it still feels like I've been grinding through. There's a lot of pointless cut-scenes as well, which I normally would enjoy. But when you're hunting down an elusive save point so you can go to bed or even just stop playing for a while you end up getting bogged down with a pointless array of 30 second cut-scenes with the little yellow thing screeching "LOOK A *story related item*!!! LOOOOOK THERE IT IS!!!". I'm almost paraphrasing the subtitles with that as well. Even after my criticisms though I am going to finish it. Or at least get to disc three. But then I may as well finish it? Oh dear.

Apart from careering through that monstrosity I've continued to dabble on my Newcastle managerial career on Fifa 10. Achieved promotion and in my second season in charge I'm sitting quite happily around 6th in the table. Bizarrely after my conquest of the FA Cup I'm also in Europe. What area is not specified, probably UEFA Cup though. Celtic are in it. Hopefully I can drag myself away from Blue Dragon to continue this although I've heard upon the rumour mill of glitches and bugs in the achievements for the mode. Not that I'm a big stickler for achievements (anymore) but if the patch that's coming out very soon is going to fix the niggles then is it worth waiting? Probably, saying that I've still got around 90% of the season to go anyway so by the time I get there it may well be fixed.

Finally there was even a little bit of time for ODST. Been a few weeks since I played but I had a friend how suggested Firefight and it seemed ridiculous to say no. Its great fun still, I really need to put some more time into it because it is more fun than Horde I'd say and on a similar level to World At War's zombie mode. It is intrinsically different though as well, no sacrifice to that Halo flavour we're all so accustomed to. At least I can rely on the fact that a lot of people will hold on to their copy just for a bit of that Reach beta. Still plenty of games to come.

Lost & Blue Dragon

2009-10-18T20:58:00.000+01:00

I kind of fell out of the loop with Lost after season one. So its been a while since I watched the show. I'd been waiting for the show to arrive with great excitement but somehow when it did I wasn't as keen as I expected to watch it. In fact it took me a good few days (and a good few beers) to pluck up the courage to dive in. I can understand why my sub conscious was against me now, the deja-vú is pretty horrendous. He's on smack, he dies, ignore the polar bear. The lessons from the episodes I've already seen showed through very strongly. If only I could apply that ability of recollection to my academic studies. Still, I'll persevere. Two episodes down. A lot more to go.

Oh dear. Its happened. I've not only got into Blue Dragon. I've let it consume me. I'm currently bathing in the blind joy of getting to disc two. Its been frustrating, confusing, boring and down right annoying at times. At other times its been alright. I've not really enjoyed much of it so far. For some reason they introduced this small yellow shouty thing into the game early on. I sat and let the solitary tear run down my face as I knew that little crap-shit was going to be with me for the rest of the game. Eight hours maybe he's been screeching in cut-scenes and wobbling in the battle field. I hate to blame the Japanese for this but what is it with crazy-ass annoying side-kicks? At least Western media has the wise-cracking one. Its annoying but at least its not that annoying. Anyway, disc 2. Undoubtedly I'll have sunk another 12 hours of my life into it by Tuesday. I hope not. But its inevitable.

Nathan Barley (yeah?) & Blue Dragon

2009-10-15T17:23:00.000+01:00

I remember watching Nathan Barley when it was first on telly in 2005. I didn't really get it to be honest, I was 15. I was loving Coldplay's X&Y album. I really wasn't ready for it. I watched it all again the other day on 4OD. I really need to remember about 4OD more often, literally years of television available to stream for free. Its brilliant to say the least. As is Nathan Barley. Its got Brooker written all over it as well with the fashionista cunts being made to look and sound like the dicks they are. What struck a chord with me most was the constant searching for a new word to describe anything. "That's so Jackson" being one that perhaps would be less "ironic" now than it was then. Witty, funny and also worrying how little has changed in 4 years. Young people are still wankers and not even just in London now. They're fucking everywhere. I'm probably one. I have shit hair and a penchant for drinking and swearing. Still worth watching, its free after all. Yeah?

Going from one end of the spectrum to the other. Blue Dragon is a nerdy as hell JRPG about saving the world from a robot shark controlled by an old purple guy. Or something. So I figured that if I can't find anything useful to do with all the time on my hands I may as well find a good time sponge. A Bounty for my wasted life. JRPGs are good for this, people can sit in their pants and play them for 200+ hours. I'm good at sitting in my pants and I have the time. I think I'm qualified. I'm about 1 hour into the game. Well probably more like half an hour. But I pissed about fighting a load of robots. Then I went to town to meet someone and couldn't find a save point first so left it on. So my game timer is actually about 3 and a half hours. Its alright so far. The characters are lame and annoying but the graphics are pleasingly bright and cartoony. A refreshing change from brown and grey shooters and the constant green and weird faces of Fifa. I'll see how long I can put up with it. Considering there's a mail strike now as well I'm going to be stuck with it for a while waiting for the next treat from Swapgame. It'll probably be something I regret having on the list anyway. I'll die before they send me Batman.

Tubelord, Editors, FlashForward, True Blood & World Of Goo

2009-10-14T23:39:00.000+01:00

Not long after I posted about not having received the Tubelord album yesterday the link turned up in my inbox. For those who are uninitiated in the wonder of the Kingston scamps they peddle a kind of jittery ADD enriched punk-pop. They buy their clothes at the same shop as Danananana(ananana)akroyd to put a metaphorical spin on it. I'm quite enjoying this new breed, they're from my generation after all. The ones who were listening to Blink 182 and Green Day when they were at school. When those bands used to be good as well, not when the colours dulled and the ballads were spun. As a thank you for pre-ordering (read paying for) the album I received an acoustic album. But the main album is pretty good to start with. "Night Of The Pencils" is exactly what punk-pop should be sounding like these days; the unpredictability of Infinity Land era Biffy and all the gang vocals and sing alongs of any of your more recent chart-botherers. The only detractor I can think of is the quality of the audio is a bit shit for me, but that may well be just my brand of headphones and speaker. I'm no expert. Anyway, listen to them, love them. Oh yeah, the acoustic album's good too. They can sing and all.

Editors seem to have been around for a while now. Although they're only now releasing their third album. Their contemporaries Bloc Party, Maximo Park and even Arctic Monkeys beat them to it. They've gone for a change of direction this time, out with Interpol in with Depeche Mode. First single "Papillion" made it seem like an inspired choice, sounding surprisingly addictive for a song so devoid of Editors' signature guitar. Although after listening to the rest of the album I'd say the result was not so inspired. In fact its a little boring. Which is the risk you take when its all monochrome clothing and rambles gloom. But all I've heard this year is records which inspire sadness and depression. There's only so much I can enjoy before it becomes an endurance. Maybe when I'm more in the mood I'll give it a proper listen but for now I'll remember the epic refrain of "Bullets". At least that sounded a little upbeat in its depressing musings.

So Flashforward has been rumbling on for a few weeks now. Rumbling is an appropriate term for it because I'm not really sure where its heading. Which I guess is part of the attraction. Its still walking the tightrope between sci-fi hokum and modern thriller. I'm not fussed either way really but I just know that I'm not going to find out for a while. Its appealing though, I'm being drawn in. The odd departure to Germany aside the drama is bubbling quite nicely. I just pray we get some kind of answer at the end of the season. I've heard ABC likes cutting good dramas short early, if they decide to end this after one season it might even be better for it. Which brings me on to True Blood, no new paragraph. This only going to be brief. Second episode was enjoyable, this is very much about the characters though as opposed to the previous. The central romance featured is starting to get a little Twilightesque (or what I think that would be like) but hopefully it will continue down a few more alleyways. Also the cliff hangers are surprisingly lame. I'll wait till next weeks to see if this one is as poor as I expect it to be.

Finally I come to World Of Goo which is celebrating its first birthday by doing a Radiohead. I paid a measly $2. I'm sorry. I'm poor. That's more than I paid for the Radiohead album mind. Anyway, its basically a little physics puzzle based around gooey blobs of smiles. The graphics are lovely, the sound endearing and the puzzles taxing. But I'm shit at puzzles. I get confused about using my keys sometimes. I've got stuck on many of the Lego games. I have no idea how to use the blind in my room, I've been here for 8 months. I digress, my point is you should buy it. Fund an indie developer a little and enjoy a great slice of left field gaming. Its more fun than Guitar Hero 2. That's for sure.

Gaming Tuesday & Noah And The Whale

2009-10-13T15:39:00.000+01:00

My life is slowly being consumed by Fifa 10 in gaming terms. In fact maybe not just in gaming terms. Its only a matter of time before I close my eyes and Andy Gray starts waxing lyrical about how Newcastle have had a tumultuous few years. I'd go as far as saying its my game of the year so far. So far being the case in point obviously, there's a great many games still to be released and Swapgame may actually send me Arkham Asylum soon you never know. In the mean time however I'll have to enjoy Guitar Hero 2 which is what I've received this month. Its not great. Admittedly I've only played through on Easy so far, I'll have a fairer idea when I tackle it on the harder difficulties. But having no licensed songs. Well two that I've played so far, one by Primus and one by My Chemical Romance. Wonderful, right up my street. In fact the track-listing is worse than that of Guitar Hero 3 let alone the more recent releases. It'll be returned in a week I'm sure. I gave the Brutal Legend demo a whirl today as well. For someone who chose to watch Conor Oberst over Tenacious D at a festival once a game with Jack Black probably wasn't for me. But I enjoyed it somewhat, that hack 'n slash genre being an under appreciated one for me. The humour was also a nice surprise, not laugh out loud but definitely endearing. Its on the Swapgame list. I'll probably get it before Batman.

One final point, I mentioned Noah and The Whale fleeting the other day as the lesser to new band Mumford & Sons. I managed to catch Noah & co in Falmouth after a friend got me in. I enjoyed it a lot to be honest. The new material sounds good live, very sweepingly epic in places. Its a shame the mostly freshers comprised crowd only wanted to hear the one hit of "Five Years Time" which they performed begrudgingly in an encore. It may sound rather harsh, but I hope this band lose some of their fame and end up in small rooms of pubs again, because with a good crowd and the same songs it could have been an amazing experience. One to look out for if they come near you, but remember to give the rest of their stuff a chance at least. They do deserve it.

Mumford & Sons, Volcano Choir & Deadmau5

2009-10-12T12:09:00.000+01:00

I thought I'd have a think about what I've been listening to for the last week. I'm fairly sure all of the records are new(ish) releases but its hard to tell with Spotify. They tend to just appear with little to no fanfare. Anyway, Mumford & Sons are part of that nu-folk scene that's been cropping up from London for the past few years. Noah And The Whale, Laura Marling, Johnny Flynn; you know the score. They share a lot in common with the first in that list really, although the songs are a bit more of a bluegrass style than the straight folk pop of Noah and co. They're definitely made for big things, by that I mean of course mild indie cross-over success. The album certainly has the singles on it, "Little Lion Man", "The Cave", "Roll Away Your Stone" all have the hallmarks of quality on them. They'll be the darling of Radio 1 shortly enough.

Volcano Choir are a misleading entity. Anyone with broadband and ears should swoon with joy when anyone utters the perennial audible delight that is Bon Iver. So when hearing that Volcano Choir are a little side project of his you are not surprised when you find yourself frantically hammering the keyboard in search of "VOLCANO BON IVER" or whatever. The similarities between the two records however are few and far between. This has more in common with modern American oddity bands than the flannel-shirted musings of despair. Its an alright album, it certainly starts well and ends badly. On its own merit its enjoyable enough, but on the coat-tails of old Justin Vernon this will probably end up under-listened in most people's music library.

Something a little bit different is the Canadian knob-twiddling rodent Deadmau5. Probably the darling of the electronica scene right now or 6 months ago depending on the timing of my appearance to this party. I'm not sure if he's revolutionised dance music, but that's usually the only thing used to describe someone new in this genre. No matter what the tag line for his success is the album "For Lack Of A Better Name" is fantastic. Pretty much every track is a winner and the (possibly only on Spotify) inclusion of a mixed version of the record is a well-judged implementation. It'll get you dancing, or at least you should.

On a side note, the Tubelord album should be with me today. Its not, I'm not even sure how I'm receiving it (steady now). Oh well, tomorrow. There's always tomorrow.

The Prestige & The Invention Of Lying

2009-10-11T23:26:00.000+01:00

Its pretty much officially Autumn now here in cold and windy Cornwall. I've taken to swanning around the house on my many free days in a dressing gown and pyjama bottoms. Like some buffoon living off an estranged ancestors inheritance. Still, its a shame I'm comfortable to live with. Cosy and warm shame. Which very tenuously leads me to The Prestige. It is very much a film for the twilight of the year, the colours are dulled somewhat and the dress code is all coats and top hats. Not that top hats are more common place in the colder months, its more a necessity of a period piece like this. The film shares the many twists and turns of Christopher Nolan's earlier classic Memento and in some ways a similar narrative structure with past and present mingling often. I enjoyed as a whole, the performances were enjoyable and the general plot interesting. There is the complaint that there is perhaps one twist too many, the ending being a little hard to stomach given the way the film progressed before. However as an Autumn warmer for the mind its not a bad choice. The use of Thom Yorke's Analyse over the credits has also stuck with me afterwards, although maybe because the film's score was so forgettable.

I had a little trip to the cinema tonight to see Ricky Gervais' latest effort. Its not often I go to the cinema. Even though the one here is an independent one, I'm sure some people have bigger screens in their houses. Its best to point out now that this film isn't bad. The main problem with it is that the basic idea doesn't really have the legs to carry it. Which is why the film is such a hit and miss affair. The plot basically revolves around the ridiculousness of religion. Lambasting God, Moses pretty much the whole deal. The only thing that escapes ridicule really is Noah and his ark. Although that one is perhaps to easy a target anyway. These scenes work well, with the old Gervais comedy shining through. The scene in which Gervais appeases the fear of his dying mother is also surprisingly touching. But there is also a fair bit of filler with more than one clichéd and boring montage and a romantic storyline that may be too sickly for some (me included). Spotting the many guest stars also proves fun, Ed Norton, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill, Christopher Guest, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Tambour, Jason Bateman and of course Barry from Eastenders. Admittedly some of those were in starring roles. Just wanted to make the list a bit longer though. There are worse films showing, many of them here in Cornwall but if your cinema chooses to ignore 500 Days of Summer, Adventureland and Zombieland then you're better off watching this than pre-ordering your tickets for the industry circle jerk of Jacko's freshly buried corpse.

Various Titbits #2

2009-10-10T01:34:00.000+01:00

There's been a lot of those hyped American shows lately. Like a constant stream of them. Do we blame Lost? Yeah probably. Haven't been with it for a while now though, I'm going to try and slip back into it. Anyway, True Blood is the latest in this line. Its about vampires, which makes me shiver usually in thought of the gothic HSM shit casket that is Twilight. Werewolves are now cooler than vampires because of that crap pile. Tru(e) Blood though puts a different spin on it though, with vampires coming out of the coffin because a synthesised blood equivalent has been discovered. Which puts an surprisingly sane view upon preceedings. Undoubtedly it being a product of HBO helps this and I'm thankful for it. Its refreshing to see some sci-fi kind of television that isn't completely shit (Charmed, Buffy, Angel, Supernatural - there's a great many more than those too). I'm excited about episode two, Channel 4's fantastic catch up service is also a great blessing.

I really thought that I'd enjoy Generation Kill more than True Blood being the rabid Wire fanboy that I am. But the late time-slot, the crappy stream and the same unforgiving atmosphere as The Wire made this a difficult one for me to slide into. I'll give it another go over the next few days, as its going to be worth watching for just the 8 or so episodes that it is. I guess you forget what it was like watching those first few episodes of The Wire where not much was happening and you're debating why you're there. Looking back, it seems silly that you could have ever comprehended such nonsense.

Its been a really long summer this year for me. My relative inaction was a main contributer to this I guess but television did not help my stupour. But thankfully now its Autumn and animations favoured child has returned. I refer of course not to the horrificly misjudged shit fest that is "The Cleveland Show" but of course to South Park. Starting exactly where you'd expect, they're ripping into Micheal Jackson. Only through the medium of The Sixth Sense. Now I'm guessing that this one may have been in planning for a while, MJ's fate is not fresh by South Park standards. But still, to make shows so consistently funny in such a short amount of time should be applauded. God I've missed you South Park.

Squeezed a viewing of Dead Man's Shoes. A wonderful little film, disturbing all the way through thanks to an amazing performance from Paddy Considine. Its my favourite Shane Meadows film mainly thanks to its simplicity. It gives no other impression than being a story of revenge, a simple tale just well told. I highly reccomend it, its probably one of the better films set in the north of England.

I finish of with my induction tonight into the syrup filled delight that is The Evil Dead. Inspired by the gross-out brilliance of Drag Me To Hell I thought I'd pick up this trilogy and give it a whirl. Its pretty much what I expected, disgusting, hillarious and cheap as hell. Great fun though, you can see why its garnered cult status. I'll see how quickly boredom gets induced in me these next few days to find out about the rest of the trilogy. Considering Swapgame have sent me Guitar Hero 2 instead of any of the 5 games above it on my playlist this seems likely.

Gaming Tuesday

2009-10-06T12:09:00.000+01:00

The first real gaming moment of my week was getting one of the 10G achievements in ODST in Firefight. What I didn't realise however is that I spent around 4 hours doing it. 4 hours! I could have watched 2 films in that time! I could have done something that wasn't so relentlessly repetitive. Still I did it, I was proud. Had to melee two hammer guys and then a rocket launcher guy in the back. It was touch and go at times. That was the last time I played ODST as well, probably for a while as well based on that experience.

I picked up Fifa 10 as well, I don't mind paying for Fifa really. It's one of the few games you know you're going to get your money's worth on. I've been playing 09 right up until when I bought this one so they've got to be doing something right. Firstly I threw myself into manager mode as Newcastle. Playing on Professional difficulty used to be too much of a challenge for me in 09 but now I found it quite rewarding to play. Although not winning every game, getting a hard earned 1-0 win against Liverpool in the FA Cup was very satisfying, all though mystifyingly losing 4-0 at home to Bristol City was not. I decided to give online a whirl as it seemed the logical thing to do really. Squeezed in four games last night, I played as Tottenham (not sure why) in all of them. First game I led 2-0 up until the 90th minute when the other player quit out. I wasn't impressed. Second game I got beaten by Arsenal very convincingly 3-0 I think. Third game, also against Arsenal, I swiped a convincing 3-1 win. I was very happy with it to say the least. The final game I got outplayed by a resolute West Ham and lost 2-0. So, apart from the sour start I found the games very rewarding and also with absolutely no lag as well. I'll need more time with it to decide if it is the best football game I've played, but I've already ploughed more time into it than I did with ODST or Riddick (sorry, gave up and sent it back). Which means they're on to a winner for me really.

Glastonbury!

2009-10-04T17:36:00.000+01:00

Good day today, its not that Frankie Boyle has left Mock The Week. No, that's a reason why its not a perfect day really. I managed to get a ticket for next year's Glastonbury. The 40th Anniversary year as well! I am very excited to say the least. It'll have been 5 years since my first (and only) visit to Worthy Farm next year and to say the least a lot has changed. I'm not 16 anymore for a start. I can't really claim my taste in music has changed much, I remember seeing Bloc Party on the Other Stage while I was there and now five years later I'll be seeing them for the 6th or 7th time here in Cornwall at the end of the month. To make it as good as my first weekend under canvas there's a few things I'd like in no particular order.

1) No rain! It was a disaster in 05.
2) Alright traffic please!
3) LCD Soundsystem to headline the John Peel Stage maybe?
4) Radiohead on Saturday?
5) A Sunday line-up as good as the one this year.

Even 3 of those 5 would make it the best festival ever, but fingers crossed for all 5 eh? Also, picked up Fifa 10 on Friday, already deep inside getting Newcastle back in the Premiership. I'll try and have a proper mess around with it before Tuesday.

Dog Soldiers, Dexter and Family Guy

2009-10-01T14:26:00.000+01:00

There aren't many recent horror movies about werewolves as far as I'm aware. Actually after checking the wonderfully unnecessary werewolf movies database there's been quite a few. Including this frankly fantastic description for Big Fish "An estranged son recalls his dying fathers life through the fairytale stories he told when he was a child. Excellent movie, but only a brief werewolf segment.". Anyway, Sean Pertwee is in this film so as you can expect a lot of death is going to happen, including his own. I'm not spoiling the plot, merely pointing out that Sean Pertwee never survives a whole film, he probably gets it written into his contract before every role. As far as British horror movies go this a good one, when it came out people talked about it revitalizing a dead genre, blah blah and all that. Watching it now the werewolves look pretty bad, it's either a guy in a suit or a puppet. But the film still brings up a few twists, turns and shocks along the way. It deserves the four moons it got on werewolf database.

I also managed to catch the first episode of season 4 of Dexter. Why, I'm not sure though. I spend so much time moaning about the show's flaws yet I still return like a victim of domestic abuse. I just can't walk away from it. It opens like every Dexter season opens, a miss-leading little segment about him supposedly getting ready to kill when he's not. Haw haw. That I don't mind though, what really pissed me off about the new season is two things. Firstly they've brought back Dokes, only channelled him through that buffoon Quinn who looks like he should be in The Fast And The Furious (he hasn't, been a load of shit films though). Not only that but they've taken unnecessary romance to a new high with the fat goatee'd detective and the female boss getting it on. That's not even mentioning the love triangle growing with his sister. But all these detractions aside, the new story angle so far is that "the greatest never caught serial killer" is in town and Dexter is really tired. Which actually makes for interesting viewing. I'm willing to stick with it for another season, but my word if they give the Vince guy a love interest as well I'm out. That would be a step too far.

Family Guy used to be the height of hilarity for me, but it's kind of meandered off into it's own rectum of late. Especially when South Park has actually been putting out the kind of episodes that are pretty much the closest thing to satirical perfection. So I watched the season premiere or whatever just because for 20 minutes of your life you can do a whole lot worse. King Of The Hill for example, that show is just terrible. Anyway, its another Stewie and Brian adventure. Which would have been a terrible thing back in the day but they're probably the two best characters in it these days. As you can tell my prose here is beginning to be a bit meandering but that's the general feel of the show, its not quite what it was but its still entertaining. I pretty much summed it up with there are a lot worse things to do with 20 minutes of your life, but when South Park is back they'll also be a lot better.

Gaming Tuesday (On Wednesday)

2009-09-30T21:24:00.000+01:00

Been a quiet week's gaming for me this week. Which is not a common occurence for me, I'd go as far as saying its been under 10 hours. Which more says how much I usually squeeze into the average week. Anyway, did manage to finish ODST in that amount of time though. Which goes some way to agree with most people's sentiment that's been floating round the net. It really is too short. Although the single player is still fantastic. Its usual Halo fare, only this time from a different angle. Kind of like re-watching your favourite film to show it to a friend, they see all the little things that you take for granted in your repeated viewings. I'm aware of the stretching on that metaphor but the point is there. Playing as an ODST feels so similar to the old MC yet so different. There's the health packs although if you're good enough you won't lose your shields and you can't dual wield but I personally stopped that after Halo 2 anyway. In many ways its just a greatest hits of Halo set-pieces but who wouldn't want that? A fool that's who. Multiplayer wise Firefight is awesome, although no match-making (!) and also if you didn't already have the maps, you'd be in luck with the bonus disc. Still, its managed to distract me from Riddick (which I feel I have to complete before I can return it to get Arkham Asylum) so that counts as a thumbs up for me.

Probably a good job I posted this today as yesterday saw the release of that knee jerk piece of DLC for Left 4 Dead. Crash Course is only two chapters long (albeit action packed) for a start. This is for shortened games of Versus apparently, which I believe although I haven't got round to playing it on that mode yet. I tried to play through it online with whoever Live paired me up with. This proved a bad idea when none of us knew where we going and spent 10 minutes wandering round the the same area looking for the way through. Twice. We then got slaughtered at the finale, I can proudly say I was the last to die though. For the price of 560 points (just over £4) I'm happy to get more Left 4 Dead as its easily one of the games of the generation. Here's hoping Left 4 Dead 2 can carry on the trend.